Tango Fire
Memoirs
Copyright@L.Hadley - 2026
Work of fiction. Any similarity to real people dead or alive or any circumstances resembling the real ones are - purely coincidental.
Copyright@L.Hadley - 2026
Work of fiction. Any similarity to real people dead or alive or any circumstances resembling the real ones are - purely coincidental.
For the next segment of this exciting story - please - click here every Monday - Wednesday and Friday - of each week!
Chapter 1
My Dearest Tina, my most favorite oldest sister in the world,
It's another glorious fall - half-way done - our favorite season always beautiful - in Chicago and - it always zooms by entirely too fast. As I mentioned to you earlier - my reputation as an excellent lecturer has been - finally - firmly established for some time - in Chicago - so I lecture - regularly and my journalistic career - is finally - where it needs to be. It takes a long time and many efforts.
Remember how I always told you that in spite of - sometimes - hostile forces of various kinds pressing against me - I always maintained a positive attitude and a great faith in doing "things - right". However - at times - there is a right occasion to "exaggerate" the truth a bit or to stretch the "right way".
As you know - I have been lecturing at various press clubs and other leisure/educational organizations with my audience being "mature" people of good education and excellent careers to their names. I interact with those Chicagoans - briefly since after each lecture - we have a short - questions/answers sessions which are a lot of fun for me and the people who come to my lectures - since at times - I learn a lot from the people in the audience.
At times - when I need to do it - I can give some people - "a quick on my feet" answer - in terms of getting them "off my back" - for the moment - an answer - which is - usually - flexible and non-controversial while vague to a large extent - a typical political doubletalk which might be necessary sometimes. That mode of communications goes with a small smile/poker face expression - typical for old politicians who can't do anything else worth doing.
I have tons of fun observing various types I encounter. Some people whom I meet briefly - impress me right away as being well informed, well educated with a lot of strong and solid qualities about them. However - still - it's a good thing that I don't need to get to know them on any deeper level which was - at times - unfortunately - necessary when I worked my "regular" jobs when I could not afford the luxury of not having to get to know my ex-associate on any deeper levels since a lot of times - it's better not to get to know people - too deeply.
On the other hand - some accomplished and prominent Chicagoans who seem successful and are well known in this city - come off - right away - as phony and slimy which is noticeable to anybody who is observant. When thinking about successful but shallow people - I immediately conjure up an image of a well known Chicago columnist whose "live" lectures take way - too long time - since he loves to talk about himself while his presentations' slides are tedious to watch being totally "self-congratulatory" and phony bunch of useless drivel which nobody needs - except him. His long lectures are hard to "suffer" through. It's a good thing that I can always find a good excuse to leave when he stops briefly - in a discreet fashion. It's good to go to his lectures to take a lot of effective notes on how to avoid delivering boring and totally self-congratulatory presentations. I have recently seen the same columnist making some pseudo-intellectual remarks on one of the local TV channels - with his commentaries long and wordy - his trademark while manages not to state anything decisive while the TV seems to pick up all the negative sides of his personality - of course - the keen observer needs to have some knowledge regarding various human types.
Hey Tina - we are both observant about various kinds of human types which walk this earth - some of them - God only knows - for what purpose since they choose to do very little useful stuff. It's feels good for me - at this stage of my life - to be openly opinionated - at least everybody knows where I stand.
You know how some days - a lot of small, bothersome, negative remembrance of our past failed efforts of various kinds - can creep into our minds like small but persistent demons. They are a lot of ways to get rid of them. Those are very common and everybody gets them - at times. You know - Tina - that for strong women of our family - we have ways to straighten out the negativity by "talking it out" with some close friends - while at times - we cry later that night. The following morning is always much better.
The new morning is always a new beginning. We know exactly what it means to pursue the excellence - namely - a lot of people will resent that. Fine. They are - usually - "crawling back" to apologize. We know about all the various ways to accept an apology. The best manner - in my opinion - is to accept it quickly - in "I don't give a hoot about you - but will accept your lousy apology then forget about you while I move on with my super projects which you are too stupid to - even - dream about" - style - and forget about the party apologizing - while we go ahead and move on with our useful but fun projects.
* * *
October and November are always my most favorite months of the year. The big holiday season starts in full swing everywhere in the United States especially in the big cities like Chicago and New York. The gorgeous fall season shines the beautiful, colorful leaves on the various trees - creating a fall landscapes of great beauty.
You know Tina that some of my old friends started to get on my nerves for a lot of reasons - so as always - I meet some new friends which form my new circle of friends. I keep in touch with my old friends but they need to be put on the so called "back burner" for a while.
Lately I have been doing some exciting interpreting work around the main courts of Chicago. It's decent money and I have a good command of several languages - mainly Polish and Russian. Those people going to court for various reasons create a big economical, social and informational world of legal dimensions. I found that relatively easy to do since my communications skills are considerable.
Since the agency made me sign a confidentiality agreement - I try not to discuss my interpreting/translating cases too much - even though they are fascinating. Imagine me getting involved in some strangers' lives for a short time as I do the interpreting of their emotional statements for a judge or a referee. Its fascinating since each time when I go on my assignments I encounter different types of every kind.
I go on my interpreter's assignments - at least - three times per week and for now - it's quite enough since I am quickly becoming really good at interpreting. It's a lot of fun to be businesslike but slightly involved with the parties I work with - to do my job very well during only several sessions. The agency for which I do my jobs - appreciates my professional attitude. They know about my personal motto - not only to do the job well - but always try to do it much better.
Interpreting accurately - takes a lot of intensity so four hours per shift per day are quite sufficient - especially in view of the fact that the hourly pay is very excellent. The most challenging part of this job is getting through the various security devices of Cook County Courthouse which is a huge building connected to a Cook County Jail and a big Cook County Medical facility. My translating/interpreting skills are frequently required in big legal or medical facilities downtown - Loop - which are easier to get to - even if they are harder to accomplish. I always look at the bright side of things. Not that it's easy - but at times - the positive "spin" always helps - no matter how hard it seems. What's nice about my present job - is the arrangement. My bosses are not in the position to require anything "unrealistic" from me and they know it. Moreover - I am the only one responsible to do my job right which I always do - since my enumeration depends on it. So I go to work most days of the week than in the evenings I like to listen to soft music.
I told you many times that some songs have always made me feel good inside even though the lyrics might be sad. I have always loved to listen Consuelito Velasques' "Bésame Mucho". She was very young when she composed her world-famous masterpiece which immediately brought her international fame and which made her a national, beloved figure in her native Mexico. We talked about fame and notoriety many times how it needs to be controlled and harnessed - it's like riding "bareback" a dangerous tiger - but once you master that art - you can enjoy the wild ride. It's - of course - a lot easier said than done - even if a lot of people - can do it. I believe in the strength of the human spirit with all my heart - I especially believe in the strength of my spirit to lead me in the right - for my life - direction - no matter how foggy the road ahead - appear.
I know that everything always works out for the best - at the end and the biggest enemy of our best plans - is fear which needs to be conquered every day since it's a very clever enemy - not to be underestimated - even if the road appears clear - ahead. I like to get rid of some fear almost every day since getting free of fear - is a skill which always grows progressively better - like playing a piano or something like that.
I told you before how some of my old friends get on my nerves - at times so I put them on the so called "back burner". I have some new friends which are more fun than the old ones. Still - I try not to be rude to some of my old friends who started to irritate me. Things always work out for the best even if there are some hard passages to negotiate on the way to good times.
* * *
My dearest Tina - my most favorite oldest sister in the world,
The summer of 2013 went fast - it was really great - then the fall came which is actually my most favorite season of the year. I was looking forward to spending a year in Chicago and go back to Pittsburgh - in the spring of 2014 since most of people from our family have lived there in gorgeous Squirrel Hill part of Pittsburgh - for many years. Evidently - my destiny had other plans since my decision to leave Chicago much earlier than planned turned out to be a very excellent one.
Chicago winters are fierce and bothersome with the wind from Lake Michigan blowing mercilessly almost all winter. The winters in Pittsburgh are much milder and of course - our oldest brother Max and his "dancing" friends with whom I can dance almost every weekend - are a big factor making me like hilly Pittsburgh - a lot even if I constantly miss Chicago. Presently - I am almost all packed to go - only this time - just like the first time when I left Chicago - fifteen years ago - I am letting the movers take my stuff to Pittsburgh while I - personally - travel light on the sleeper/train which has become my favorite way to travel since I love to go on a "sleeper" and don't worry about driving a long way. I told you before that I don't quite understand that inner voice which prompts me to decide to go in certain direction - however - I always trust it and it always turns out for the best. I am on my way to Pittsburgh since the coming Chicago winter with the first snow in a forecast - gives me the creeps. I mentioned to you before that Pittsburgh has a lot milder winter notwithstanding this city's higher elevation and mountainous structures with tons of picturesque bridges all over the place.
I already mentioned to you before that Chicago Union Station - the main train station - has a nice lounge for the people who have the sleeping cars tickets - I always adore to go in a sleeper car ever since we were kids and we travelled extensively on the train.
Last night I slept great in an all-night train from Chicago to Pittsburgh. When our big brother Max met me at the train station very early in the morning - I felt that my life has just began. Our oldest brother is a great guy - notwithstanding his many numerous - flaws.
Pittsburgh looks good to me - especially its international looking part Squirrel Hill - where I live in a top unit of Max'es mini mansion - which attracts a lot of people like us - the cosmopolitan and savvy world travelers. The local, prestigious university called C.M.U - which means Carnegie Mellon University - draws a lot of international students and faculty which stay in Pittsburgh several years while they mill around leisurely around various, "she-she-poo-poo" Squirrel Hill venues so the atmosphere is quite interesting and international. After the "older" visitors leave - the fresh batches come in - that way there are always new, interesting faces to look at so that turnover creates a vibrant atmosphere.
You remember when I mentioned to you that I lived in Skokie, Illinois for a while - Skokie being the well-known, European and International style - suburb of Chicago - on the order of Pittsburgh's Squirrel Hill. To my great surprise after living several months in Skokie which I presumed - to have an international and interesting spirit like Pittsburgh's Squrrel Hill - I was most happy to get the hell out of Skokie which turned out to be boring and stifling like a stagnant small village with all the prominent village idiots - on my way - every single day.
* * *
Lately - I decided that my daily goals should be stated clearly every morning after I pray briefly for my family, my friends and the objectives for my life. What's even better than stating my goals out loud is jotting them down on a small calendar then reading them at various times - later.
Since you are very far physically - and we connect once every few days - lately I have been a lot more open and trusting with Milochka who always has a big shell on the outside - even with me - notwithstanding the fact that we have known each other almost all our lives. She does get on my nerves more as we get older so we became less close since I have moved back to Pittsburgh.
I have been back to Pittsburgh for a few weeks - "our family's" turf - Squirrel Hill looks -more than ever - picturesque and familiar. All those well known to me - semi-looser and idiot looking types - forever milling around here - undoubtedly attracted to the successful and attractive elements who live here - thinned out a lot so the remaining ones - get on my nerves a lot less than they did in the near past. After all there is a constant supply of new, interesting factors of all sorts which balance the idiot phenomena in Squirrel Hill. My old Squirrel Hill friends are very glad that I am back from Chicago.
Chapter 2
My Dearest Tina - my most attractive and glamorous oldest sister in the world, my only oldest sister,
I mentioned to you that I had to leave Chicago for the third time to come back to Pittsburgh's - Squirrel Hill - the famous, hilly, beautiful, "she-she-poo-poo" part of Pittsburgh - a permanent home of our closest family -where a lot of "beautiful" people - mingle in the truly U.S. democratic manner with some poor losers who come and go in a steady, rhythmical fashion.
Before I left Chicago - I noticed that no matter how much I always liked it - the city starts to irritate me with its always numerous typical big city problems of every kind - after I am there a while - mainly the high crime elements - which grow - while the new mayor with the new police chief - "dance around" their respective political agendas - at times - afraid to state the facts. All the criminal activities in Chicago - dissected, magnified and exaggerated to the max in all the sensation-hungry media outlets - really get on my nerves. I was so glad to get the hell out of there this time - as every time when I leave Chicago - after being fed up with its urban problems - but knowing my fondness for Chicago's big city grandeur - I know that I will miss it and will be happy to visit it in the summer when the city looks and feels truly glorious.
I mentioned to you before that things change in my life since it constantly follows some hidden script - which is great but scary - at times - since I don't know what will happen to me next - until after it already happened. It's very exciting most of the time - even if - at times - bad things happen for a brief time. When the hard times arrive - I immediately invoke our family's special angels which always help since they are a positive influence. It's always good to get the hard times over with first - so the good times can follow towards the end of the cycle - as always.
After all - when the team plays an important game - what really matters is what happens at the very end of the game. Nobody remembers what happens at the beginning or in the middle. To draw an analogy - if all the bad things happen to a person at the start or in the middle of their life - but after the strings of awful stuff - the good events follow all the way to the very end of their life - that's considered a great life for the person and everybody around them. If - on the other hand - a human life starts out full of glory and fanfares of all kinds - but it ends miserably in some way - that's an example of a tragic, sad life. I know for a fact that our family and all of our real friends - have already paid their share of a debt of awful stuff which happens in everybody's life; the so called "debt of suffering" the humans pay to their respectives fates - so now - we can all coast down surrounded by good stuff of every imaginable kind.
Tina, I mentioned to you that when I left Chicago - this last time - most of my Chicago friends started to work my nerves - big time.
For example - one of my oldest friends - Judy whom I have known for - at least - twenty five years - just disclosed to me right before I left - that she is ninety three years old. I never knew how old she was since she always looked much younger than her age - however - during this last year - her youthful looks, energy and general health - suddenly deteriorated - tons.
The irony of her situation is that they have a lot of money but are extremely stingy with it - as if they intended to take all their financial resources - with them to the other world - instead of spending it - now - when they have their last chance to enjoy their monetary assets.
Needless to say - my financial resources were always much smaller than Judy's - so I vividly remember that whenever I asked her for a small loan - in the past - which she knew that I always repay on time - she invariably - lectured me in an uppity manner before she finally loaned me some money. Now she is sitting on a big pile of money - which can do nothing for her. Not that I am happy about her sad situation or anything like that but she should have enjoyed her wealth a lot more - when she had a chance.
It's feels very good - not to need anybody's financial help anymore. At this present time - I manage efficiently with what I have. It was a long time that I waited for my financial and emotional independence. You know that I had to "walk" a hard, grueling "distance" before I achieved it so it feels great to - finally - enjoy it permanently. It's only the beginning of the super good times - coming very, very soon - for me, for my close family and all our true friends.
* * *
Last night - I went to a tea dance with a group of my Pittsburgh's "dance friends". It was a fantastic, fun loaded event. I got to dance with a lot of excellent dancers and you know that your little sister can hold her own even with enormously talented and accomplished performers.
I told you before that the way people dance reveals a lot of how they act in real life - it points to a lot of their personality traits and tendencies. It's infuriating when - on occasions - some guys - usually - the beginners at everything - attempt to bring their hidden hostilities - to the dance floor. They - normally - get rid of that nasty habit after they quickly learn how ridiculously they project their image to others. Sometimes - I like to give them an effective "hint" which - usually - goes where it should.
I mentioned to you - that our oldest brother Max - can "behave" and act decent - for a long time - even more so - when as he gets older. Still - knowing his personality all my life - I know how to effectively avoid or diffuse his "pockets" of hostility which - invariably - come to the surface - once in a while. As I said before - as he gets older - those "episodes" happen a lot less frequently - thank God.
I told you before that some days are better than others for me and everybody else - I know. Right now - happens a very crucial and exciting phase of my life which I am expecting to happen right away. My life's script is written in a very clear way - so I need to follow it and have fun with it - even if - at times - I don't know exactly where it is going - but I know that it's going to a lot of great places.
I found out long time ago - that there is a lot of good magic working powerfully in a lot of people's lives. Sometimes it's hard to harness it in a right way but it's always there - at least - in my life. I told you before that my small prayer in the morning - right when I leave the house - is intended to protect me from all the ugly, annoying, vicious, mean and other negative elements on my way that day. I always add that I also pray for my family and close friends.
You know me - in addition to my skimpy prayers - I also - dig like crazy in every possible direction - in totally positive ways of every conceivable kind - in order to make - my short term and long term - goals - a reality. Of course - my goals change as well as my vital energies - directing me. However - during the last twenty five years - I found a super effective energy connected with my big interest in Israel and various important events connected with it.
I try to appreciate every "normal" day of my life. My friends and my family are important to me even though the daily events change like the toss of the kaleidoscope. I told you before that some days are better than others while - on occasion - rarely - do I have a bad day full of unpleasant memories which "dance" triumphantly in my mind like happy little "demons" which are always chased away quickly by my positive thoughts, memories and happy projections of my future.
Last summer 2013 - started out great in Chicago where I rented a small, gorgeous unit very close to the glorious Lake Michigan which glows with beauty every summer. However - in the fall - my next door, middle aged neighbor who just rented a unit next to mine - started to act like a psycho after I politely rejected his offers of being his "friendly neighbor" since I knew exactly which directions his "friendly overtures" would be going.
He started carrying on his "friendship" with another neighbor lady from the next floor - but quickly got tired of her "friendly, neighborly" visits and so he started to bother me. Long story - short living next door to a psycho in a Chicago high rise - can be awful. I decided to go back to Pittsburgh - for the third time in the last ten years and rent the upper unit in Max'es Squirrel Hill - mansion which he doesn't upkeep well - instead he gives his rental castle just a minimal maintenance since Max is stingy with his money. His neighbors are resentful - at times - because their impressing dwellings - in Squirrel Hill - the choice area of Pittsburgh - look top notch.
I decided to leave Chicago and move back to Pittsburgh for a while - as I did in the past. Max'es mini mansion's small unit on the third floor - became available after his long term tenant decided to move to Florida. At first - I was very happy to rent the tiny unit in Max'es small castle. He upgraded and rehabbed that small apartment a little bit it to make it cozy and functional. It felt good to be away from the hostile Chicago - back to my familiar - hilly and picturesque - Pittsburgh resembling a mountain resort. However I always start being drawn back to Chicago - as if my life's script - urged me to go back. I'm sure this feeling will change and shift like everything always does but for now - it's good to be away from Chicago until it starts calling me back. When I go back to Chicago this time - I will not go running back to "my Pittsburg" like a lover who has to go away for a while because they can't handle a powerful partner. When I go back to Chicago this time - it will be for keeps.
For now - I like hilly Pittsburgh which resembles a mountain resort. It's also pleasant to have only one nice lady neighbor for a while who has rented Max'es - main money making, big unit - for a long time. Max told me to be nice to her but keep the distance - it's business - as if I didn't know that well. Our oldest brother Max has always been a smart, choosy and efficient landlord while the relaxed atmosphere in - the hilly and gorgeus - Squirrel Hill suits me well - for the moment. I move around this familiar to all of our family - turf - in the fashion of a big city slicker easily swimming in a small pound.
* * *
This winter's holiday season is approaching fast so it will be good to be busy during the holidays. I have to tell you honestly that last year - during the holiday season in Chicago - all of our - supposedly - close friends - were too busy with "their families" to think about me. Of course - I managed to have a good time during the holidays - the way I always do - but those slightly ugly behaviors - did not go unnoticed and get ready for some "payback" actions. You know that we are not talking about any lenghty "vendetta" or anything like that - but an effective even if small payback - is always a good thing. Sometimes it makes people think about their actions - not that it's such a tremendous "behavior modification" or anything like that.
The fact that I have always been surrounded by clever and accomplished individuals - gave me a big chance to observe smart people in action. I have seen a lot of intelligent people acting in an astute manner but - at times - loosing one's patience appears - entirely justified and the best course of action for certain situations.
It's almost Thanksgiving 2013 and this year's holiday season will be much different than last year in Chicago where our closest friends shot their doors in our faces. Not to worry - your little sister can manage. Ironical - as it may seem - the strangers turned out to be very pleasant and a lot of fun during the last year's holidays.
We will see how our close family members - will behave during this year's holiday season. I don't need to remind you how some big, close family gatherings can turn "unpleasant" - and that's being generous in describing some disgusting and revolting family incidences - happening during the big holidays gatherings when the members of the various families start resenting one another after not seeing each other for a long time; they start to dig up some incidences which should be dealt with and forgotten - long time before the family gathers to celebrate the holidays. Grown people - at times - behave like capricious and spoiled little children - especially during the so called - Big Holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas.
You know what we always say during the big, fall/winter holidays - as if looking into the inside picture from the outside - we enjoy all the joyous celebrations around town - especially when they are free events - but we avoid all the pressure connecting with buying gifts which may not fit; so it's a lot of fun during the Holidays for non-Christians as well - but it's always much nicer - when all the holidays' hoopla ends in January after the New Year's celebration which has always been big in our family. At the beginning of each January - it feels good to go back to "normal" times.
I told you before that I find Pittsburgh - especially Squirrel Hill - more "normal" than gigantic Chicago with its famous crime elements plus a lot of phony politicians - both of which factors - at times - make all our collective - "skins crawl" - big time.
Chapter 3
My Dear Tina, my most elegant and glamorous oldest sister in the world,
I have been back to Pittsburgh for over a month and my major goals connected with visiting Israel and learning to speak Hebrew - keep my energies focused and in a good mode which carries me forward in the right direction.
I told you before that Chicago started to get on my nerves - big time - right when I was leaving it - this last time - at the beginning of November 2013. The city which once welcomed me with open arms - when I came back to Chicago - from Pittsburgh - fifteen years earlier - almost penniless. Pittsburgh - where I needlessly spent seven years - at that time - totally "rinsed me off" my divorce settlement money.
This time around - Pittsburgh is fun since I finally have Jack's and mine pensions - paying my bills and the visions of me broken financially with my family not doing a damn thing to help me - don't haunt anymore me like a persistent big demon. Thank God - finally - I presently have enough resources of every kind - to chase away some other, stubborn petty "devils" - negative images trying to "nip at my heels".
I told you before that learning Hebrew and visualizing visiting Israel - again - those are excellent energies for me which keep me focused - on the right track. I mentioned to you before about how all the strong women in our family - always quickly find the right direction.
You know well that I have attempted to learn to speak modern Hebrew - on several occasions - before - however - this time - I know that I am making the right, long term commitment toward that goal. The only challenge for me - will be finding the right teacher at the right price and I know that it's not going to be cheap but investing in some future skills of the brain - is always a great idea. I will give you all the positive feedbacks from that important area of my life.
I mentioned to you before - that if I don't have - at least - several goals to be accomplished in the near future - I feel as if my days go - way to slowly - as I get older - a lot faster than than other people around me who appear active, vibrant and attractive - because of the imminent objectives they achieve - notwithstanding their - at times - very advanced age.
You know that Thanksgiving has always been a cherished holiday ever since our family permanently moved to the U.S. many years ago. I can remember some noteworthy Thanksgivings as well as everybody in our family remembers - selected New Year's Eves - celebrations. Both of those holidays feature prominently in our family's vast European and American - collective memories.
I told you that one of the worst Thanksgivings which I can remember was a huge gathering of San Francisco State University students whom I barely knew. I was married to Jack only a few years and both of us pursued university degrees at the San Francisco State and towards the end of our studies - we couldn't wait to get the hell out of the Bay Area - the city of San Francisco - especially got on our nerves a lot with the constant influx of poor, homeless individuals but also the disturbed elements of every conceivable "persuasion" and social status - were attracted to this beautiful city - as well. The poor homeless descended on San Francisco - en masse - during winters - especially - when the particularly harsh winter in other parts of the U.S. - unleashes her frozen fury on the rest of the country.
All the rich, "bleeding hearts" liberals - especially the "progressive" politicians - in public - advocate the high taxation - which always squeezes of the rest of the population. California - almost went broke financially. In private - however - the same "bleeding hearts" phonies - massively "snicker down their rich noses" on poor people of every color and religion - who accidently "cross" their exquisite, upper class - ways.
Jack and I were happy to get the hell out of California - back to freezing Chicago in the middle of January - following the phony, unusually warm, typical California November Thanksgiving during which all the constant California newcomers - dreamt of "normal" winter, Thanksgiving weather in the states where they came from and dreamt of returning soon.
Of course - as much as I try not to be overly negative about the U.S. or any other place - I need to tell the truth - and that can hurt - at times. However - according to what I have mentioned to you before on many different occasions - I try to be considerate in expressing mine - at times - provocative - opinions. I just make sure that the criticism is fair, constructive and I usually offer the valid, better solution to the problem - I am criticizing.
I - usually - remember the Thanksgivings and the New Year's celebrations going quite a few years back but they have to be - outstanding - in some way. They need to influence some important events happening right afterwards in both of our lives.
The Thanksgiving of 1982 stands out in my memories since you and Yoni - visited the U.S. that year - from Israel which struggled with Lebanon in the awful, bloody - military confrontation. You worried about your oldest son - Yael who served in an Israeli army at that time. When I asked you at that time - why don't you come to live in the United States with your accomplished family - you replied that you love Israel and feel very much at home - there - after suffering a lot of open and underlying - hostility from various countries where our family has lived over the years.
I answered that the successful people of every ethnic group - have to deal with the unfriendly elements of various kinds.
"The United States maybe friendly and hospitable to the Jews - for now - but that may change a lot and it wouldn't take that long once the economy slows down," you said then and I frequently think about your statement even though I have a lot of faith in the United States tradition of eliminating temporary - demagogues who usually have a short "reign" due to the permanent diversity of the American system and the Americans who come from many different cultural and ethnical backgrounds.
* * *
The beginning of the winter - normally - looks and feels beautiful around the U.S. Midwest and Eastern parts - with the hilly areas looking glorious with some snow covering the pretty hills. Even though Chicago and its vicinities decorate themselves in good looking winter "sceneries" - the flat area reminds me of a huge "pancake" - while Pittsburgh's hilly neighborhoods - make a lot of truly magnificent winter views with some snow covering the mountains.
I know that your boys - when they were real boys before they became men - at first young men then mature heads of their respective families - used to ski a lot in Israel's great skiing resort - on Mount Hernon. My dreams of skiing down the snowy slopes are becoming reality - in fast steps - typical for me and other energetic women of our family. Do you remember how we frequently drove to a mountain ski lodge/resort to a gorgeous place outside Pittsburgh - during the winters - quite a few years back - when I was still married to Jack who was an excellent skier just like our brother Max?
During the weekends the evenings - the lodge/resort - usually had some good entertainment in terms of a small jazz group with an excellent vocalist. Sometimes - they engaged a group of musicians - doing some good dance music so Max and I could show off our advanced, fast dance routines which we practiced since my childhood - usually we dance in a professional manner - the popular Swing tunes of the day which were usually newly arranged Swing classics like "Sing, Sing, Sing" by Benny Goodman. Jack always hated to dance but he enjoyed watching me and Max - executing fancy moves - as if we "owned" not only the dance floor but the whole world.
Max always said that this earth is a gigantic dance floor where people "do" their "dance" routines as well as they can - with some dancers always improving on their techniques while others never learning to do it in an outstanding manner. I always add that the major personality traits of the dancers - are visible in the manner they move on the dance floor.
Our oldest brother Max always "monopolizes" the dance floor - but even though - his leading and dancing techniques have always been good - I noticed a positive change in him - namely - as he gets older - his aggressive edge coming "out" coming out during dancing and in other circumstances - tapers off. Actually - every other abrasive/aggressive dancer - whom I know - usually - male - but no gender has a monopoly on flashes of occasional distasteful behavior - on a dance floor as well as - in real life - curb their needlessly abrasive tendencies - as they get older and wiser.
I told you before that a lot of women and men get to be much better looking as they get older - that includes most women in our family - while some gorgeous looking, glamorous individual who appear God-like while young - get to look awful when they advance in age. It could be that they opt for almost all, easy, totally pleasure oriented choices - most of their lives - for which they pay the price of looking ugly and decrepit when they advance in age.
Chapter 4
My Dearest oldest sister, Tina,
The last few years have been extremely defining for me - from the last time we saw each other - having tons of fun - as always - while time went fast for me. Lots of interesting stuff happened to me - most of it - I didn't expect but they turned out well.
Last summer 2013 - the whole summer went great - I had a glorious day - almost every single day that summer since it was a fabulous season for me in Chicago while I lived in a super nice high rise overlooking the beautiful beach front of Lake Michigan. When the colorful fall came around - things started to happen which I didn't expect even if they did turn out well at the end.
It all started in the early fall of 2013 - when a middle aged, fat male moved into the unit next to mine. Right after I looked at him from the behind of my new, kitchen blinds of light cream color - while he smoked compulsively outside the building since nobody is allowed to smoke inside the new, beautiful structure - he appeared disturbed and troubling to me - the type to - definitely - stay away from. It's not very easy to do while living in the apartment next door.
That fall afternoon - while I watched him smoking his "cancer stick" which I detest - and he looked up to my kitchen window as if he could see me behind my kitchen blinds - I knew that he will try to cause problems. I had to be clever and outsmart him. Fortunately - after I invoke my special Guardian Angels plus make some clever moves - the vicious elements of every kind - always quickly get out of our way - so we always get away from various annoying "factors" bothering our family while we try to do good things for our people and for us.
After I told our big brother Max about that ugly psychotic next door to me who nevertheless knew how to cleverly bother me - Max advised me to make a good move into his "mini" mansion which he rents out to good and established people - so no disturbed psychotics - where I reside - now. I don't miss them at all - and Chicago - typically - crawls with those types. My neighbor now - is a lovely, normal professional woman - Lia whose beautiful voice I can hear from my unit as she talks to her cute little dog while she walks her around Max'es big, clean, spacious - cemented back yard. Lia always makes sure that her little doggie doesn't leave any unwanted "gifts" on Max'es clean premises plus I am glad that I never hear Lia's doggies' bark - the "apoplectic" kind or any other kind since that kind of a noise could be a potential big nuisance. Speaking of gifts - I "re-gifted" a very cute - eye glasses' chain - to Lia after she gave me an adorable Christmas card. She will probably like that nicely designed - eye glasses holder which I didn't care for at all since I have this unexplainable strong distaste for any devices helping to hold the eyeglasses around the neck.
I mentioned to you before that when I used to live in the so called "garden" unit of Max'es mini mansion a few years ago - located under the prime, the nicest first floor unit - presently occupied by Lia - when Lia's unit was rented out to a young, disturbed guy teaching at the prestigious Carnegie Mellon University - located near by. He frequently left his noisy alarm clock - running forever. That's another kind of "neighbor" caused noise that's extremely annoing and loud during the summer months when the windows are - usually - opened wide.
Every year the day before the Christmas Day or Christmas Eve - has the same, lovely atmosphere in the United States - people smile at strangers while all the radio plus the TV stations play a lot of adorable Christmas Season music and equally beautiful - Christmas themed - shows. Most of the Jewish and other religions - also love the American style Christmas Season - especially in view of the fact that they don't have to worry so much about gifts and the various kinds of crazy relatives - descending on them "off of the walls."
You know how our family always likes the New Year's Eve celebrations when the old year goes away with all its "low points" while the New Year promises a lot of good, new possibilities. I can remember tons of many past New Year's Eves. One of the most memorable and dramatic ones had to be when Jack and I - left for California from our parents', old Ohio State Campus apartment which they were happy to "unload" after they bought a nice ranch in a fashionable part of Columbus, Ohio.
They both worked for many years at the Ohio State University's huge library - as researchers/translators so that on-campus apartment's location allowed them to quickly walk to work - however - they always stated the same thing - that the cute, ranch style house they bought in the Eastern, Jewish part of Columbus, Ohio made them happy since the college students with their "night life" activities and sloppy life styles - can really "work" the middle aged - like my parents' at that time - people's nerves - a lot.
That New Year's Eve - twenty years ago - Jack and I left early - in our white van - on January 1st - right after the fun party at our friends' - the Ohio State University students who lived in the old, one family house, next door to my parents. Those old fashioned houses were a part of the Ohio State campus and even though they were constantly rented out to changing college students - nevertheless the students always expanded tons of energy into neglecting and ruining those properties which were subsequently purchased by Ohio State which constructed paid parking lots; thus the lovely, gigantic sized Ohio State University Campus - intimidating to death som freshmen from surrounding small towns - acquired more parking space. After the first, terrifying first quarter at the huge university - most freshmen including me - quickly learned the "streetwise" techniques of survival at the humongous college campus.
At any rate - during that memorable morning of January 1 - Jack and I - began to drive confidently to towards San Francisco where he needed to start the graduate school in their TV Broadcasting Department which was very adequate and much easier to get to than the famous, much overrated - U.C.L.A - in Los Angeles.
We started to drive straight across the U.S. taking the shortest route - so called "summer route". However - due to a suddenly developing a huge winter storm piling tons of blowing snow in our car's way - Jack and I decided to change the route and take so called "winter route" to California - through the southern states which always had a lot milder weather conditions than the northers states.
It was the first time I entered the South of the U.S. - the land of Dixie. I felt like a foreigner in a strange territory where the "locals" seemed to distrust the outsiders passing through - especially if they speak with a pronounced foreign accent like me. My ex Jack - who was born in the United States - and normally speaks a correct, well educated American English which sounds like the TV anchors read the daily news in Chicago - spoke with the Southern drawl - which always gets on my nerves; he only did it when we were passing through the South. It was a safety precaution so the local "sheriff deputies'" wielding guns would not cause problems for the "outsiders" just "passing through".
Things changed a lot since then - now the U.S. is full of newcomers/foreigners from around the world which settle in every state of the U.S. The people who were born here in the U.S. - the ones who act as if they grabbed God almighty by the proverbial "balls" - should thank all the foreigners every day of their lives - for helping to make the U.S. - still the global power - instead of snickering down their ignorant noses on the contributing naturalized Americans such as me.
When we crossed the border from Arizona to California - it felt fantastic to allow the warm sun kiss our faces in the summer scenery with the orange plants - bearing the fruit while the East and the Midwest were pelted by the big snow storm.
Jack and I liked San Francisco for a while - during our studies at the San Francisco State University - however after several years there -when the constant cool spring weather with no "normal" change of seasons started to get on our nerves in addition to a few other annoying Northern California factors working our nerves - we decided to come back to cold, snowy, wintery Chicago - the heart of the United States - notwithstanding Chicago's - big, annoying problems which shift around but will not go away in the near future.
However - Tina - you always insist that - at times - a lot of good and beautiful stuff of every kind happens unexpectedly while - on other occasions - after we carefully plan a lot of good outcomes - some of our important expectations - turn to garbage - big time. I hope that this happens frequently to all our enemies - the various individuals who like to be nasty for no apparent reasons. Remember how our mother used to say - "God will give them - what they wish to happen to us and other good people".
Sometimes it's hard to attach a positive spin on some screwy stuff which happens for no apparent reason to good, solid people. It's a good thing that those "freaky" mishaps rarely happen to our family. Some people can really work my nerves - though even if I try to be fair to them.
I decided that my new, most important, major 2014 New Year resolution - will be to dumpt all the negative, annoying elements and people and to associate only with the strong, positive, goal oriented people, groups, causes and ideas. It's not easy - since - at times - it's good to be angry for a brief time - it feels like a short term - fuel injection so an engine can go steadily and evenly. It's always better to find a positive spin - though - no question about it.
You mentioned many times that it's much better to deal with smart, well-adjusted, good looking people who are successful rather than to encounter ugly, limited, prejudiced and hostile human elements. I totally agree with you. Some days it's hard not to get angry with certain people who act "goofy" - while they "discharge" their ignorant anger at everybody and everything - however - we always believe that the good people of all kinds - outnumber the idiots - by far. In addition - most good and honest people can smartly outwit the narrow minded, prejudiced elements of various kinds.
Chapter 5
My Dearest Tina - my most favorite oldest sister in the world,
I was telling you before that a fair payback is one of the best experiences the human being can experience - providing - of course - that it's not crossing into a "vendetta" territory. It needs to be short and forgotten after a good lesson is learned and given.
You remember that I worked for an import company a few years ago and as every job goes - after two years - some narrow minded, new supervisors started their clever but not clever enough for me - campaign - to mess up my excellent work record. Long story short - the main "shark" lady located at their posh, filthy opulent corporate headquarters while the "regular" employees work in almost filthy - conditions - got fired due to your little sister's - me - continuous efforts.
As I mentioned to you before - she didn't need to die or anything like that - all she needed to do was to get fired - which she did - so now - I can think positive thoughts about her if I ever bother to think about a miserable little nothing like that individual. They are the types which produce very little - just like some "shyster" lawyers - even though they are - usually talented in playing "politics" so their positions are lucrative and secure - for a while. Things always change - however. That's the reasons that most doctors I know simply hate the lawyers who - generally -live off other people's mistakes.
I always try to put some kind of a positive spin on various negative events which happen to all of us - occasionally - usually - at the time when we least expect them. You frequently say that our family is always protected by a lot of good angels or other positive forces - so when something negative occurs - it's not as bad as it could happen.
Our oldest brother Max'es abrasive/aggressive side gets mellowed as he gets older while his "sage like" wisdom concerning the keys to living the greatest life - possible - increases. Judaism and its numerous sages - emphasize the crucial keys to living this life - in the best possible manner while the Catholics are big on the so called "Afterlife".
Remember how Max used to act like a total jerk on many occassions even a few years ago? I guess he thought a lot about this side of his - otherwise super terrific - personality and decided to "modify" his behavior - so now he is a lot easier to deal with. Not that anybody is holding any grudges or anything like that but Max could "blister" his family - at times - for no apparent reason at all - so it's a good thing that he made this important positive change - even if it happens - later in his life.
As I mentioned to you many times before - I like to deal with people who are smart, focused and have some goals for their lives. I try to be patient with all kinds of stupid, short sighted elements - which get on my nerves a lot - who need to be "enlightened" about their narrow minded, false prejudices which invariably come to surface during the economic downturn in the U.S. Since I am not running for any political office - it's a good feeling not to be too patient - occasionally - with some - annoying types who "discharge" some ignorant propaganda and need to be "straightened out" about their obvious ignorant spouting of a lot of non-sense.
* * *
January 2014 blows brutal arctic currents on all the Midwestern and Eastern Coastal States of the U.S. When we were students at the Ohio State University - the saying went something like "it's cold like witches' tits at midnight while she's wearing a brass bra." I like winter when it decorates the trees and the mountainous hills and trees with a small layer of snow - when the air feels fresh and crisp while the sun makes each snow flake sparkle. However when the winter blizzards blow the awful winds full of icy snow into people's faces - then the winter feels awful and it's nice to take a break from the winter - by escaping into the warm vacation spot which feels like a paradise. Even a few days in the warm resort feels like a long break notwithstanding the "brutal" return to the single digit temps.
Remember Tina how you always told me - I don't know how many times you repeated it - as if I didn't register the first time - that you hate winter and that's one of the numerous reasons why you love to live in Israel - all your life since the heat doesn't bother you - especially if you are constantly in the air conditioned, luxurious surroundings. For the longest and the best part of your life - you lived your "dolce vita" - big time - in tiny Israel - while - I - fully naturalized American citizen - contributing a lot to the powerful U.S. of A for a long time - was struggling for quite a while -notwithstanding my higher education plus my many saleable skills. powerful United States.
Lately - however - we had a small, so called "reversal of fortunes" - when I - finally - became fully financially independent - thus got rid for good of my powerful, major demon - a vision of me being destitute in my older years - while my family doesn't give a "hoot". Now I can effectively "fend off" some other minor "petty demons" which life throws to everybody - from time to time.
You - on the other hand - lately - had to deal with a serious illness - which - I am sure - you will conquer since you have always been a "brick ass" and a first class - trooper. Don't get me wrong - I am always happy when things go good for you but when I used to go through some hard times - you frequently "rubbed it in" that it was my fault - which was frequently - was not the case at all! Don't forget that the hind sight vision is always very correct but it does nothing to fix the mistakes - at this stage.
Sort of goes something like - "No use in closing the barn - when all the horses are already - out!"
Our oldest brother, Max - always looks out for his sisters - which is on the bright side of the equation - however - ever since he was little our mother always treated him like a little Prince - a major successor to some imaginary "throne"; that attitude always got on our collective nerves a lot - since you and I have always been an outgoing "go-getters". However since our mother was stubborn - you and I could do little to change her attitude - even though we repeatedly pointed it out - to her. I am certain that even though she "officially" did not change her views - nevertheless - she heard our arguments and thought about them.
One really gets to know all kinds of deeper layers and hidden personality traits of our loved ones, close relatives or ex-husbands plus ex-wives. I try not to think of the past experiences of discovering the hidden sides of people which don't show until you either work with them, do some business or get closer involved with those individuals. While I look ahead with an optimistic, positive attitude about people - nevertheless my past experiences and a gift of keen observation give me a good tool for evaluating new people whom I encounter.
Sometimes people mistake an outgoing, a positive fearless winner's attitude for aggressive traits and they will be resentful. I have learned how to stand my ground and effectively defend my positions of every kind. When I criticize some actions - I try to be fair and keep it on their actions and not on the individuals. People change their minds and their respective positions - all the time so when the criticism is given - it's good to have fun with it -since the humorous spin - can frequently soften the criticism and achieve the same positive and desired results.
It's always good to ask yourself an important question - namely - what's in it for me - before giving a critique which should be sharp and interesting. It's not that hard since the "talking heads" do a good job of it on the radio talk shows and during the televisions news programs.
You know - Tina - I started to jot down some clever, short comments issued by some talented analysts - as I listen to them on the radio talk shows or watch them on TV new shows. It's always good to change the wording around so there is not even the slightest "shade of plagiarism". After all every week certain international and national events happen certain way - so they offer many different ways to interpret them. It's best to paraphrase the "talking heads".
No matter what you do with the updates of the important local and international news - it's always a great idea to keep up with what's going on around you. I always try to keep a positive spin on tons of negativity bombarding me. Each day - before I leave my house - I say a short - extremely brief - prayer - to keep all the possible bad elements away from me, my family and true friends and it feels as if some good angels (I have no clue who they are) - are watching over me. I found out that it works much better if one has several important goals - to do good things for other people - notwithstanding the somewhat true - even if cynical - saying that "no good deed - ever goes unpunished".
* * *
My Dearest Tina, my most favorite oldest sister in the world,
I wanted to talk to you about how brave and adventursome you are in many ways and of course - your little sister - me - also has those features. It's not easy to be honest about who you really are since a lot of people are looking for the ways to criticize anybody who is outstanding in some way - or "voice their concerns" - an euphemistic phrase which I detest.
People like to criticize other people who are different than they. Some individuals exercise the so called "constructive criticism" mode - which is a slightly more considerate way to express their widespread - hostilities.
When I first married Jack he was timid and overly careful not to say anything which might offend anybody present - while - I - on the other hand - at times - ran my mouth off - too much - without thinking. As I got more experienced - I learned how to convey my views in a rational manner so that even if some people disagree with them - they have to respect my points of view if they are capable of thinking logically. As the years went by - Jack learned a lot how to be more courageous when he needed to defend his positions.
* * *
The Winter Olympics in Sochi 2014 - are a lot of fun to watch - the figure skating looks gorgeous - but the downhill skiing events and ski jumps - are also exciting.
It's a big Olympic opportunity for Russia to show off while they massively brag about their country - which has a lot of beauty and talent - no question about it. However - their history is full of disgraceful, expansionistic and ugly episodes of all kinds - so this young, female "pinhead" brain figure skater - made my skin crawl when after she stated - "Russia Forever" when the TV camera was stuck in her stupid - even if pretty - face.
Why don't you read some history you "pinhead" brain - so you will enlighten yourself about your bloody dictator Soviet leader - Joseph Stalin - who for over thirty years - was killing your countrymen - left and and right - in addition to attempting to enslave the neighboring countries as the Soviet Union was exercising its abhorrent, dominating, aggresive, expansionistic policies!
Now - your president of the Russian Federation - Mr. Putin - also rides a "roughshot" over other countries - as much as he can - by supporting the repressive, Russian oriented, corrupt puppets - heads of state - like the Ukrainian - "bandit from Donbass" - Mr. Victor Yanukovich while the ex-premier of Ukraine - Ms. Yulia Timoshenko - was finally released from the Ukrainian prison - thanks to the widespread, massive international appeals
for her release.
At the moment - the winter Olympics dominate the news outlets and most conversations. I have always liked the figure skating competitions. This year - the couple with the guy - extremely tall - gets considerable press coverage. He was born in Moscow but his family emigrated to the U.S. when he was a little baby. The U.S. gets tons of international talent every day - not that a lot of ignorant Americans - born in the U.S. - appreciate us.
The Russian Federation couple - currently the gold medal finalists - looks extremely goofy. For one - her hair appears totally "botched" in terms of color which reminds me of some poor Porto Rican ladies in Chicago - who insisted on "bleaching" their dark hair - blond so they ended up with pukey looking shade of "dirty, copper blond". Her partner looks as if he just got out of jail. Actually - both of them appear like a throw back to the Soviet figure skaters in the eighties and seventies when they looked like scared "ghosts". The Chinese athletes sport a similar look - of a nation in chains.
The American and the Canadian skaters not only look better than the Russians in terms of their appearance but they also have a certain aura of free people around them. The small detail needs to be pointed out about a super enthusiastic, sweet and friendly - young American male skater from Highland Park, IL (a fancy suburb of Chicago) - the first time Olympian - deservedly - adored by the press and the public - Mr. Brown. His eyes are "crossed" which could be fixed by a minor eye procedure to vastly improved his appearance since his smile is radiant.
It's amazing how some ladies figure skaters neglect to fix their hair so it looks smooth - and not like long hair - sloppily - fixed into an amateurish, quickly done - bun in the back of their head. I saw only one costume poorly designed on an oriental looking skater - but it was an exception since most garments look fabulous - especially the ones worn by the Western countries' skaters.
You know that the few years ago - most of the figure skaters took up the "dying" on ice with all the drama owed to the beautiful dancers/skaters bodies (most of them - anyway) - looked dramatic. However - the "dying on ice" got old so they stopped doing them proclaiming that "the dying on ice" is "dead".
This year in Sochi - the skaters started a lot smaller trend of kissing the female partner's hand. Someone began doing that and it was quickly took up by other skaters. Towards the end of ice skating of which ice dancing is my absolute favorite - all the ice skaters/dancers appeared tired and glad that it's all over. I don't blame them - all the enormous pressure - most definitely - wears them down.
In the interim - President Putin get a huge egg in his face - in terms of Ukraine's people's - bloody confrontations with Putin's - puppet, repressive and corrupt government of President Victor Yanukovich - popularly called a "Donbass bandit". The free countries of European Union can do something to stop the bloodshed and help the people of Ukraine to be free like they are. They need to do something - there is no excuse anymore that "they don't know what is going on in the country".
Back to Winter Olympics 2014 for a moment. It's extremely outrageous figure skating judging system which "caves in" to what the Russian audience wants. The Russian figure skater which got her gold medal - knows that the silver medal Japanese skater deserves the gold. That kind of injustice simply makes our collective skins crawl.
I urge everybody to go to Facebook and express our outrage over the judges' - collective audacity and taking a risk which is nothing but "caving in" to the unjust sentiments of the Russian Olympic audience.
Putin spent fifty billion dollars which he took away from Russian people who need it. According to Mitt Romney - who ran Salt Lake City Olympics in an efficient and excellent manner - the Russians could have done it for two billion - if they knew how to manage well.
* * *
You always told me - Tina that people need to make their voice - heard. Even if it's a single voice - it will be doing some good - in some way when the purpose is - to correct some wrong. I know that - a lot of people maintain that - things are more complex than that - but in essence - there is a clear distinction between - the black, the white and the gray.
A lot of people like to speak from "both sides of their mouths" so they can swiftly switch sides quickly when they need to progress their "agendas". That strategy - gets old and exposed after some time. I could never have a long political career where the politicians need to know how to maneuver various obstacles which prevent them from - frequently - either openly of passively - speak up for what's right.
I talked to you before about how our family loves good movies and the Oscar awards time is almost like a national holiday for us and a lot of people we know - notwithstanding the last year Oscar hoopla being a disgrace to the the talented movie industry. That phenomenon happens quite a bit during some Oscar presentation ceremonies. We will see how Ellen DeGeneres will do this year - 2014 - during the next week's - March 2 - 2014 - Oscar ceremonies.
* * *
My Dearest Tina, my most favorite oldest sister in the world,
You and I frequently talk about the most memorable books we read which affixed themselves in our consciousness and we think frequently about them. I told you that "Gone with the Wind" - master story telling by Margaret Mitchell has a few equals in world literature - for a lot of reasons. It's a shame that she died so young and was barely able to enjoy her well-deserved fame - notwithstanding her awfully ignorant literary critics who villified "Gone with the Wind" for a long time - until they all turned "around". You know what Voltaire said about the literary critics - "they are all 'eunuchs' without any "balls" or talents - jealous of the creative minds with tons of talents."
* * *
Yesterday as I was entering my fancy/schmantsy unit - I heard my neighbor crying loudly. I felt very bad for her grief since she seems to be a good person. Part of me wanted to go over to her apartment to show her my compassion - but Max told me to keep "my, business like - distance" a bit from her - since she is the best friend of a very goofy, next-door, long-time neighbor who cannot be trusted as far as one can throw him.
Max knows people and he is fair to people even though some individuals who barely know him - maintain that he has a big "shell" around him. All I can say to you since you have lived far from Max most of your life is - that his attitude towards - us - his closest family - has softened quite a bit ever since he got older. One still needs to be a bit careful around Max - since we all remember how blistering he could act on a short "moment's notice" - nevertheless - at times - the so called "oblique approach" works with him since he has done more than his share or acting in an "confrontational manner" - especially around his closest family.
What we find helpful around aggressive and abrasive "elements" of many kinds who need to be cleverly put in their place - is the so called "oblique" approach whereby they get the message even though they are not challenged openly - for the moment - at least. There is a place for all kinds of approaches - at their proper time and place. The "confrontational approach" may work sometimes - but if it's chosen - the best thing to do - is to think the situation through - and be prepared for all kinds of possible outcomes. Very frequently - the "hidden script" of some kind of already decided events - will do what they "want" to do. Things will happen in the manner - which we don't expect. A lot of times - they are happening - for the best for our lives.
* * *
Hello Tina, my dearest big sister in the world,
The Oscars ceremonies this year - 2014 went - a little better with Ellen DeGeneres - as a master of ceremonies. Nobody in the liberal media dares to criticize any openly gay people in the entertainment arena or any other area - since the rest of the liberal media hypocrites will - immediately excoriate the criticizing parties - in all the venues of mass communications and label them "homophobes". That phenomenon is - the so called "horse manure" - in addition - the same thing applies to other "minorities" immediately crying "foul" in the face of any justified criticism. Speaking of the professional critics - you should see that old "jerky", shriveled up looking, harsh and merciless - theatrical and movie critic interviewed on the day of the Oscars 2014 - March 2 - 2014. He presented an ugly picture of a mean old fart - who - evidently indulged in the "hard living" of many kinds. While I agree that the criticism should be fair - it needs to point out some positive sides of the work of a person being criticized - because you never know when you might encounter your "criticizee" - in person - under extremely unfavorable to you - circumstances. At any rate - the constructive leaning - criticism shows the critic in a favorable light.
I have to come back to the present day political events for a moment. That international bandit, ex-KGB butcher Putin - who probably prays to the ghost of to the global ex-murderer - Joseph Stalin - every day of his life - blatantly annexed Crimea - a part of Ukraine - at the beginning of March 2014.
When the Russians then the Soviets - attacked Afghanistan - in 1980 - the soldiers of the Soviet army were dropping like "flies" in Afghanistan - no doubt - CIA was helping generously - the opposition forces - who subsequently - betrayed the CIA. Soon after attacking Afghanistan - the Soviets/today's Russians - didn't have enough coffins to bury their dead.
Mr. Putin - take some hints from your predecessors' big mistakes and stop your "gangster-style" threats to the free world! All I can add regarding Putin's blatant, militaristic attempts to bully Ukraine is that in 2014 - the Russians will not be able to show off their audacious hostility the way they did in 1968 in Chekhoslovakia with their big tanks - beating the people down to submission. It's a different world now and Putin will pay the price for his outrageous attacks on Ukraine.
* * *
One of the most memorable novels I ever read which made me frequently think about that story and the author's power of observations - in a true fashion of a great work of art - is a Russian story called "Petty Demon" by Fyodor Sologub. He wrote this novel in 1902 but it passes the test of time since it's just as valid today as it ever was - and it will be important for as long as the writers write novels and the readers - read them.
In a nutshell - the story is a skillful "page turner" relating the turbulent, funny, obscene - inner feelings' - reflections - of a depraved, cynical but friendly to the readers - youngster - Peridonov - living in the early twentieth century Russia which is - as always - full of corruption and political repressions of every kind. His somewhat cruel at times - observations re: the vicious indulgences of some respected members of the society - strike a chord of truth in the fascinated reading public of all ages. These factors contribute to the literary work being always popular with the numerous readers from various countries.
The youthful hero goes through some particularly troubling experiences as he "comes of age" - while he observes the people around him in a merciless but hilarious manner. At times he feels like a victim - especially in high school when - temporarily - at the mercy of some unfair, mean teachers who "gang up" on him while the vicious principal - joins those despicable teachers and the good teachers - cannot help poor Peridonov.
After he gets out of high school, he - himself - acts in a mean manner towards some people during some unexpected circumstances when he gets a temporary opportunity - but afterwards he feels guilty as he perceives himself - an unfeeling despot because of hurting other people's feelings.
In a nutshell - Fyodor Sologub's novel - "Petty Demon" is an international, global masterpiece - because it accurately depicts in a humorous way - a lot of - seemingly - minor, everyday evil stuff - occasionally indulged in - by most people who need to refrain from acting in a vicious manner while they have a "perfect" justification for their decisions. Nevertheless - "Petty Demon" - title speaks for itself and honestly refers to some bad things going on - sometimes - between decent people. The Russians coined the word - "poshlost" which loosely means - "self - satisfied vulgarity" -according to the professional translators.
As I come back to the twenty first century Chicago - I notice that some things about the common traits in most people - don't change all that much - notwithstanding much different conditions of life in other countries - than those in the early twentieth century, imperial Russia where the story "Petty Demon" takes place. What I mean is that - at times - some good and smart people - behave in a questionable manner since - perhaps - it's fun for a while. There is a price to pay for indulging excessively in those types of things.
* * *
Hello Tina - my most favorite big sister in the world, my only one,
Finally the spring of 2014 is almost here after one of the harshest winters - on record - even if it was milder in Pittsburgh than in Chicago. Last fall of 2013 I was enjoying the last days of the Lake Michigan gorgeous beaches - surrounding Chicago like an exquisite shawl - wraps the arms of a beautiful woman. I would listen to various radio reporters on National Public Radio as I walked tha Chicago beaches/parks. One weekend morning I listened to the essay of a young American journalist as she travelled through the beautiful, south American country of Costa Rica and watched the people living much simpler lives - there - as to those compared to the lives of the people living in the U.S.
At the end of her essay - she quoted Aristotle who concluded a long time ago that - "the happiness in an inward journey" than she quoted some unknown sage who observed that "one has to have something to love, something to do and something to wait for". I totally agree with those ever valid - words of wisdom.
Remember, Tina how you and I were the "guides" - especially you - of course - when we travelled in Jerusalem and Bethleehem - following the steps of Jesus when he walked the Earth; our Christian friends visiting Israel to trace the steps of Jesus - loved your almost professional - "travel guide's" presentations - since you know and love - Israel's history so well. I told you before that for me - personally - my dependable - angel/guide is strongly connected to Israel since I frequently picture myself - again - in a beautiful, sunny coffee shop in the middle of a gorgeous shopping mall at the center of a glorious city of Haifa - your and our Israeli family's - beloved home town. You and I sat in the mall's beautiful coffee shop many times while we felt on the top of the world - sipping our delicious filter coffee and nibbling on an exquisitely tasty apple strudel.
* * *
I told you before that after Jack and I divorced I finally felt free to take up ballroom dancing again since Jack always hated to dance and objected to me - dancing with other men even though I never gave him any reasons not to trust me.
Long story - short - notwithstanding the painful passages during our divorce after a long term, stable and happy relationship - one of the good things which came out of that was my freedom to concentrate on dancing - ballroom which I always loved.
You know well that our big brother, Max - has always given himself generous compliments on being "an excellent" ballroom dancer and he could deserve his own boasting "titles" - if he only got rid of his deeply ingrained habits of pounding the floor with his feet and jerking his female partners - way too much when he dances. His lead is good and his dance moves are very adequate even though - you know him - how he is constantly bragging about his - supposedly - very superior - dancing skills.
I noticed something interesting after dancing ballroom for many years in a lot of diverse vanues with different partners of various skill levels that a lot of the dancers personality traits - show - disclose themselves - during their dancing.
* * *
Hey Tina, you know that Millie and I have been close friends - since we were very little. You barely know her since you are much older than me. As it's frequently the case with close friends - our friendship had some "rocky" times when we were distant in the physical locations as well as with our friendly interactions.
It is always easy for me to forget about her occasional roughness since she has tons of positive traits to her character. Still - her personality can be hard to deal with since her honest opinions - solicited or not - frequently cross into an extremely "abrasive" territory - and as you well know me - I don't shrink from confrontation once someone - friend or not - "ruffle my feathers" in a manner that I see as "rude and inconsiderate". I always wonder why it is that with Millie - it's a lot easier for me - to forget about that bothersome flaw in their personality - which - by the way - gets milder as she gets older.
Max has always liked her a lot - especially now - that he hasn't had a lady friend for quite a while. If they ever start dating - I can see powerful "fireworks" coming up between them - or - on the other hand - maybe they would get along fine - nobody knows how the future events could unfold. A lot of so called "seers" predict the future - after the events had already happened.
* * *
My Dearest Tina, my most favorite oldest sister in the world,
It's now April 2014 - the new spring after a harsh winter - the brave crocuses push their blue heads, the birds are singing, violets are also up from the ground. Some days are already warm - the early spring feels great after a brutal winter - so I dream about bluish/green Lake Michigan shining in the glorious spring sun along the beautiful Chicago parks next to Lake Michigan. I almost hear the splending city of Chicago - calling my name. There has to be a way for me to spend the summers there - I am thinking and planning. Stay tuned for a lot of good news regarding that important project.
The winters are a lot milder in Pittsburgh but after a busy winter in Pittsburgh with my "dancing friends" and other long term associates of sorts - I am ready to get the hell out of here fast - like a proverbial Texan out of hell. Can't wait to walk around Chicago which is super lovely in the spring, summer and fall.
The Pittsburgh's - especially the Squirrel Hill "psychos" - start getting on my nerves - big time right about this time of the year when I am ready to go back to Chicago which also has its share of idiots - but at least they are not concentrated in a small area. One of the Squirrel Hill characters is particularly repulsive - and even though I always pretend not to notice him - I say a brief prayer for his health since he started to look like a half a skeleton/corpse in a last few months. His disease made him more loud and abrasive than before he got sick.
Nevertheless - I am enjoying the new spring 2014 and while I am not letting various local "goofs" of any kind - get on my nerves - I find that glancing at various good looking/glamorous people of various ages - plentiful in Squirrel Hill - always lifts my spirits.
Hey Tina - before we move into the beautiful people territory in Squirrel Hill and in Chicago - I have to mention another "character"/guy who walks around Squirrel Hill with the aura of some special entitlement - about him. He looks like a retired army man of some lower rank; he almost never smiles and it appears as if he lives in a four story subsidized housing building relatively well maintained on the edge of Squirrel Hill. He rarely smiles - typical appearance of an ex-military men - the so called "poker face" facial expression - characteristic to the types like him and the West Virginia's (next door neighbor - state) uneducated, prejudiced against everybody - hillbillies - who are also plentiful in Pittsburgh and - sometimes they crawl around the "she-she-poo-poo" - international - Squirrel Hill. One more thing about this Squirrel Hill, ex-military looking type - he tries to wear khaki, army fatigue shorts - even if it's very cold outside. He would not be - like - any - "trend setter" for attire or anything like that.
I told you before that I love to be surrounded with well educated, tastefully dressed people who are well adjusted - and behaving in the best possible - manner. I am not a politician running for office - hoping to collect rich benefits from the government service - so I don't have to endure rude and stupid acting - people - discharging their anger - in my face.
Life gets simpler and much better as I get older. Needless to say - some stuff was easier when I was younger - however - most things which overwhelmed me when I was younger - presently - just flow without any big efforts - so life is a lot more fun - now.
For example - my present neighbor - Ellen - a nice person but I don't feel like making friends with her for several reasons - the main one being that she lives too close and I don't like to be friends with people who are in close proximity to my place. You can't get rid of them - tactfully - if you can - or more directly if they don't respond to a hint - it's not a good thing if they are in "your face" when you don't want to see them.
Another important reason while I don't want to be any closer to Ellen - beyond a quick, friendly, neighborly "hello have a nice day" - is that she rents a unit from Max - so it's business between us - especially taking into consideration the fact that Ellen is a very close friend with the next door neighbor of Max'es three unit building - a guy who acts "goofy" and stupid all the years that he has been Max'es next door neighbor. Remember that our mother always said that the people who try to harm our family in any way - will have a swift angel - stop them in some way. The manners in which those unruly "elements" will be stopped - always vary - but I noticed on many occasions that what she promised us - comes true. Our mother had a huge, kind and sympathetic side to her personality - however - she always emphasized the fact of not trusting the neighbors - much less than the whole "one hundred percent".
The Passover is at hand and I remember some past Passovers when our parents were alive and we were much younger. I can vividly remember Max'es older daughter Ali - when she was two years old and stood up in her chair during our family's Passover celebration - she looked adorable all dressed up in a frilly, holiday Passover dress. This year she will bring her three year old little boy for his first Passover - he will probably behave well (which is not always the case) and stand up in his chair to watch everybody adoring him just like his mother did when she was little.
Max leads the Passovers - now - just like our father did. His ex-wife - Ali's mother - usually comes for Passovers so I hope her brother who usually goes where she goes - will not start getting Ali's - little son - all "riled up and unruly".
Last year my Passover in Chicago went in an extremely "ordinary" fashion - my new friend, Jolie - a middle real estate broker - and I went out to a popular restaurant in Chicago's - cool - North Eastern suburb of Morton Grove where we enjoyed a light Passover meal while we talked a good "gab" during which both of us knew that we needed to "cement" our new friendship.
I told you that some new friends always come handy - but my long time friends like Millie and Alice - are lasting "columns" of support for me and them. In fact - Millie, Alice and I - have formed a "magic trio" for a long time - notwithstanding some occasional pulls on our "triangle". I always feel that whenever I tell Millie or Milochka as we called her when we were little - that I wish something happened - it always or almost always - happens for the best.
The strength of friendship is amazing. Needless to say - the big trust involved in having close friends - can backfire in terms of big betrayal possibilities. I told you before that it's always worth the risk - if the end result - might benefit some people who don't always appreciate the effort to help them.
* * *
Last night's Passover was great. As we get older Max does only the one-night celebration - while our father always did two nights. I always think back about various past Passovers in our family. They happened in many different places with changing members of our family - the new people at our family Passover table - occasional "friends" of mine from the time after I divorced Jack or at times - some Max'es temporary "girlfriends" of Max'es after his second divorce - also "visited" our family's Passover table.
As you know - Max has gone through quite a few short term as well as some longer lasting relationships since he divorced his second wife. I can vividly remember one Passover during which his older daughter Ali - while still living and working in the Washington, D.C. area - right after she graduated from college - came for a Passover to Max'es mansion and she was constantly on the phone with some unspecified party. During that time - I occupied briefly - a half finished - small and dark - garden unit which was to be my dwelling in Pittsburgh. I decided at that time to quickly get the hell out of Pittsburgh - back to "my" Chicago which I always find exciting and familiar after spending some time in Pittsburgh.
I noticed that each time I come back to Chicago after spending obligatory time in Pittsburgh - Chicago seems to embrace me as if that magnificent city was destined for me to be there. However - I mentioned to you that lately - Vancouver, B.C. impressed me as a big, gorgeous, international city where our cousin, Julia has lived for many years with her grown children and grandchildren - where I visited last year where I "fell in love" with the cosmopolitan, fun filled atmosphere of that hilly, well designed urban beauty.
Easter holiday marks the upcoming beginning of the summer which is a most favorite season of our mutual friend - Alex. You told me that Alex should be my so called "last resort" as far as the men in my life are concerned. Max told me to keep Alex firmly on the "back burner" if "there nothing else more fun and suitable".
Alex has some shortcomings - the main one being - his negative attitude towards almost everything in his life. That flaw - however - can be improved as he is not averse to changing his personality a bit. His good points are many and quite important ones - good sense of humor, non-smoker, he is honesty while he speaks "his mind", his appearance is clean; (he looks pretty good - for an old fart) - with the thick gray hair and bright blue eyes. His intelligence is enhanced by a lot of reading. He is observant - with lots of common sense and vast past experiences with various people. Even though his formal education is not a big deal - he has done very well for himself due to his excellent business instincts; he can be an interesting conversationalist.
* * *
This coming summer 2014 will be exciting and fun - since I was offered a good summer job in Chicago. You know how some close friends in Chicago - get on my nerves - at times - even though I like them a lot and we have been close for many years. The decision will need to be made soon - with whom I will stay this summer in Chicago - since my unit at Max'es - in Pittsburgh - will need to be paid for through the summer. I - most definitely - will come back to Pittsburgh at the end of the summer - unless some "script of my destiny" has some other plans for me.
I will describe to you - several types - my choices in Chicago.
Milochka has owned a big townhouse in Skokie for quite a while and her two children have been grown and gone for a long time. She is constantly "kissing up" to me to "plug her in" with Max since he has been single and "available" after his second divorce. What gets on my nerves sometimes is that while she would love the opportunity to date Max (the logistics of their respective distances prevent that for now) - she strongly balks at coming to visit him in Pittsburgh even though he has invited her. She needs to stop acting as if she was a glorious "English Rose" waiting for the millions of eligible suitors to fight over her.
Alice - on the other hand - who also owns a house - which she already paid for - in Skokie - can be frequently - suddenly - angry. I have no clue why she has so much pent up - hostility - which "seeps" out - on occasions. Her only daughter - a middle aged, chunky lady - was diagnosed with MS - a terrible nerves' disease when she was she was very young.
Alice keeps giving me a lot of good news re: her daughter's endeavors to add to her family - so presently her daughter's second surrogate is about to deliver twins so her five year old grandson - also delivered by the surrogate will have a new brother and sister. It's a good thing that her son-in-law's family - is paying for all that. The surrogate mothers are an expensive luxury while a lot of already born - little children - need homes. Notwithstanding Alice's numerous flaws which always come out after several years of a close friendship - still her personality has tons of good qualities of various useful kinds. Most of the time - she is a lot of fun to be around.
Millie - on the other hand - tries not to be rude to her close friends but she - also - can be quite abrasive - on occasions. Also - she likes to change her friends - since she gets tired of them. I am - one of the few friends - she has maintained a close contact with - for a very long time.
I have to mention briefly my American friend - Amy with whom I have been close friends for many years. She has always been elegant in everything - just like her exquisite penthouse in prime location on Lake Shore Drive with a totally glorious view of Lake Michigan. Her taste in everything has always been top notch.
I have to describe her life as fantastic in every way so I ask myself a question - how long can this splendid and luxurious life style continue. For Amy it - evidently - never stops since she has a strong faith in God and afterlife.
However - there is a sad news to tell you about Amy; since you have seen her several years ago - she has been ailing. Her health has been plagued by some "mysterious" problem. I pray for her health almost every morning but she continues to lose ground. Each time I see her - she gets thinner and thinner - as if one day soon - she will fly away to heaven. Right now she looks like a shadow of her previous - elegant and smiling - persona. However - as I mentioned to you earlier - her spirit seems good - most of the time - anyway.
I told you before and you agreed with me that people who have a massive heart attack are very lucky - especially if they are old and lived a full life. You - however - added that if and I am quoting you - "if I can't wipe my own behind - I want to be dead and buried at some nice cemetery, close to my loved ones who left this earth - while the ones who are still alive will have a lot of fun memories about me - so I will continue living in some way even after my body dies."
I remember how you and I had tons of fun - together when I visited you in Israel. It was one of the most beautiful times of my life. That spring felt glorious in Israel while we went to visit some beautiful places connected to the life of our family.
I will never forget our morning full of fun, sisterly chatter - in the lovely and fancy coffee shop located in the big, beautiful Haifa's shopping mall. All that splendor "burns" the eyes of the enemies of Israel which are always too numerous. God Almighty and the strong Israeli army - always give them - justly - what they deserve.
The shopping mall's - coffee shop's - coffee - called "filter" is the best in the world - since they serve the freshly ground coffee in the coffee cup with the small filter full of freshly ground coffee. The memory of that kind of coffee and the scrumptious apple strudel on a cool, sunny early spring day - while we talk and laugh carelessly - carries me safely through some tough days.
Chapter 6
My dearest Tina,
The glorious summer of 2014 is just about to start and my plans changed a bit for now. While I am waiting for my special Chicago magic to start working like it always does - my Chicago project got put on hold for awhile. I decided to focus on my trip to glorious Vancouver, B.C which will happen at the end of September 2014 - one way or another.
We are celebrating our glamorous cousin Yulinka's birthday and - as you know - she has been living in beautiful Vancouver, B.C. with her grown kids - for quite awhile. The last time I was visiting that part of our family - I had a great time. I realize that things changed for her and her husband during the last several years since my last visit. You know me - I have to have some goals to meet in my near future - otherwise I feel as if I am hanging in a "no gravity" space of some sort.
At any rate - this coming summer promises to be a terrific one - not that the last summer was not fun in Chicago - however - towards the fall of last year - some events started to "shape" certain way and I had to make some seemingly - unsettling - at first - decisions which turned out for good. When that happens - I always respond in the right way even if that does not come to focus for me - until after some stuff - happened. As you know - those changes always come out for good.
* * *
Remember when I told you several years ago that the first time I saw Yulinka after not seeing her for forty years - will be always etched in my memory. Passing time put a lot of extra pounds on her - once slim - figure. It wasn't all that generous to me either - it plastered a lot of wrinkles on my face - even if my still slim and mascular figure - pushed back the eternal press of "Father Time."
Yulinka's daughter - Ella - has always been a great beauty - the last time I saw her - she was just a chubby toddler. Our cousin Yulinka sent us many photographs of Ella in various stages of her life. She just turned forty when I saw her and Yulinka - now - most recently. She didn't look a day older than twenty five - and a stunning beauty - as always.
I told you that Canada but especially - Vancouver, B.C. - impressed me a lot and I thought briefly that our family officially entered the United States through a small border town of Calgary, Canada. The luxurious Polish ship - Stefan Batory which left a Polish port of Gdynia - docked in Montreal, Canada after nine days voyage full of dazzling experiences. In Montreal - we boarded the train to New York City so on the way there - we passed the customs in Calgary - from Canada to the United States.
I will never forget that sunny, clear, cool day in the last week of May. The train passed various landscapes - it took almost all day so towards the late afternoon - we arrived at the New York City's Central Train Station where our family stayed an hour - waiting for a connecting train to Columbus, Ohio where our cousins worked as lecturers for the huge Ohio State University.
New York Central Train Station - appeared gray, crowded and confusing but the New Yorkers - milling around impressed me as fantastic, free people - notwithstanding their typical big city - rude and condescending - attitudes - immediately obvious to a smart observer.
* * *
The first summer in the United States was extremely defining and memorable. That first glorious spring in the U.S. - felt like paradise - even though our cousins kept their distance - most likely feeling that they sponsored us so they did more than enough of their duty towards their "poor relatives" from "ah - so suppressed" Eastern Europe.
That spring - Elvis Presley had a big hit "I Saw You Crying in the Chapel" - I thought that the great times will never end. However - when the typical, U.S. hot summer followed - with the heat without the airconditioning - almost unbearable - that summer started to drag. As always - bothersome, hard times always improve. That first cool U.S. autumn - which followed that first damn hot summer - felt great - so did our first American winter - followed by the beautiful spring. Over all - our first year in the United States was rough but our second year was much better. Remember how I told you in a letter that our parents - finally got decent jobs as researchers/translators for the Ohio State University - huge library. I finished my first year at Ohio State - then I met and married Jack Osborne who was completing his army service - thus he was able to pick the state of the residency to finish his college degree. He picked California which at that time had inexpensive state colleges and universities - where both of us completed our respective college degrees which was followed by our first major move to Chicago where he got his first job in television industry as a television news photographer which he loved.
I fell in love with Chicago where we have lived for many years. Long story shortened a lot - now - thank God - I am in a position to love Chicago and relax - while when I was much younger - I adored my life in Chicago for many years - but differently - since while at that time I did to a lot of fun, interesting stuff - nevertheless it was frequently a hard struggle - all at the same time. Now - however - I like Chicago - differently. I can really enjoy it and relax. I have done my share of worrying and sweating. I finished what I needed to do so now I can really relax and enjoy it. I have done my share of worrying about other people's unintentional or intentional - mistakes - which could hurt my business clients. Through all the hard times I have learned to love my life - and enjoy every season. It's a good feeling to know that the good times will last a long time.
* * *
Hello Tina,
This spring of 2014 is absolutely glorious - but the coming summer promises even better. I want to tell you about the fabulous Latin Dance Event from last night. The evening was cool and lovely while the best Salsa, Bachata, Merengue - dancers twirled expertly on the excellent parquet floor of the picturesque community center in the hilly, northern suburb of Pittsburgh.
You know your little sister - I managed to dance with the best Latin dancers and as always - I can keep up with their beautiful, advanced steps. However - before I met my so called "dancing friends" - I needed to stop at my nieces' house for a birthday party for her four year old boy. Normally her parties for his birthday are fun since the weather is mild at the beginning of May and usually a small group of children playing in the back yard - behave normally - while the adults eat hamburgers grilled on the small patio.
Last night - however - the different atmosphere of tension pervaded the event. I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there in a hurry. My grand nephew had only one little - next door neighbor/little girl to play with. I - who normally - get along with little kids - took a strong dislike to this fancily dressed little bitch and it happened for a good reason.
That little fart face took the brand new toy - which I got for my grand nephew and she dragged it through the muddy grass. If I could smack her primp little ass - I would - instead I told her in a proper, diplomatic manner to stop doing it. Her parents were involved in an animated conversation with some birthday party guests - thus they didn't smack her tiny ass the way they should. Luckily - my nephew saved the new toy which I bought for him - anyway - from an early death at the hands - of that tiny - pretty but obnoxious little female - a future so called "bitch on wheels" - the kind - we the normal people - avoid like a proverbial plague.
At the same birthday party - I noticed that the birthday boy's - mother - Max'es older daughter - Allie - really "porked out" a lot. She is always in a better mood when she trims her figure some - but to her credit - she is built like a box - her wide bone structure appears strongly emphasized by her broad shoulders.
* * *
My Dearest Tina,
I told you before that I have always loved the Memorial Day weekend since the coming summer promises to be great. This coming summer of 2014 - looks really good, significant and breathtaking for a lot of reasons. So far the temps have been moderate and lovely so I hope that it will continue in that mode since I don't like overly hot weather - you remember that the summer of 2012 was a really hot hell - an unbearable sizzling mess with the three digit temps - galore. Thank God I had a well functioning air-conditioning unit in my Chicago apartment overlooking the glorious Lake Michigan. This summer I am in Pittsburgh which is mountainous and beautiful - and that makes my missing "my" Chicago less bothersome. Chicago is absolutely glorious during the summer - however I have to be in Pittsburgh for a while for several reasons so I make the best of it - you know me.
As far as the dancing scene goes - I have lot more "dancing" friends in Pittsburgh and I constantly meet new friends for dancing and getting to know each others' - additional possibilities. During the last week's Latin dance - I had an opportunity to dance with an outstanding Latin dancer with whom I have not danced for several years. He progressed from in his status of an excellent Latin dancer to the status of an "outstanding" one. His masterful lead is light like a feather - even though it takes a skillfull dancer like me - to follow his flawlessly. You can be proud of your little sister for keeping up with the best of them.
I told you before that our brother Max loves to dance and he is a passable dancer - even though he always speaks highly about his dancing skills. Perhaps he will learn to soften his rough and bothersome "lead" which I always try to point out to him - in a round about, oblique and diplomatic manner. Max has always been extremely sensitive to criticism - notwithstanding the fact that he always freely "dishes" it out to others - especially to his close family members. He frequently gets on my nerves a lot - but I do my best - not to antagonize him since he can "fly of the handle" as you well know; since we are his close family members - he can indulge in his occasional outbursts of hostility which he couldn't afford with his business associates or even casual friends. Max does not have any close personal friends - even if he is a so called - "friendly, well adjusted, successful guy" by all the conventional standards.
I remember that when he was much younger he used to have some male friends with whom he was close but that was quite awhile ago. He mentioned one time that ever since he got divorced for the second time - his fun life really began. He actually strongly disliked to be married so - as you know - notwithstanding some shortcomings of this situation - he loves to be "free" and "unattached" and live alone.
I think that all of us need to "practice" that life style since the "unions" and "friendships" - usually end - one way or another and - so at times - it's kind of fun to be alone, independent and unattached.
* * *
Hello Tina,
A few weeks ago, at the very beginning of this glorious summer 2014 - I met a youngster - at least - thirty years younger than me. He seems very attractive and intelligent - just the first layer - anyway. His "currency" of the youthful energy still impresses me even though - my past experiences with men a lot younger than me - taught me several valuable lessons on how to treat them and how not to get "swallowed" by their youthful enthusiasm - so this "friendship" continues in the right mode does not get off the right track. I am having fun and keep it all in the proper perspective.
I keep this "friendship" on the so called "back burner" while my goal is to date an older man - classy, sophisticated, accomplished - my style - with this handsome youngster being a so called - "temporary, interim distraction". It's always good to remind him about the situation - to keep him in his place - by diplomatically but effectively "rubbing it in".
As I told you earlier - it's important for me to meet my close Pittsburgh friend - Ella - almost every week since she is a very intelligent, interesting woman with whom I can share a lot of important and fun - weekly happenings. It's necessary to connect like that with someone who thinks like me.
A couple of years ago while I was spending the awfully hot but splendid summer 2012 - in Chicago - I was friends with a lady who was not nearly as interesting and fun as Ella - but at that time - it was enough since Chicago Alice was smart enough and observant enough. Some Sundays we would go to a summer dance in Grant Park which the city of Chicago sponsors every summer.
The vast collection of various human types - of every conceivable backgrounds show up at the Chicago's Grant Park Summer Dance events with the ballroom dancing sessions taking place Sunday afternoons - thus some beautiful, accomplished dancers mingle with the so called "primitive" elements who attempt to dance while they have fun smelling the "beautiful people's" perfumes while they enjoy watching some super dancing moves - in truly democratic, Chicago style; thus a fleeting mix of totally diverse people takes place during lovely Sunday afternoons in Grant Park while the glorious Chicago summer continues - while the gentle summer breeze from beautiful Lake Michigan continues kissing the city of Chicago's fabulous shores.
* * *
Last summer of 2013 was not overly hot in Chicago - nothing like the "hell on wheels" summer of 2012. Since my two close Skokie friends are not interested in Sunday afternoon ballroom events at the gorgeous Grant Park - I hooked up with the second cousin of my other long time friend - Alice who lives in a glorious penthouse overlooking blue Lake Michigan. After she suddenly deteriorated during the last two years - Alice finally confessed to me her real age since she always looked a lot younger - and never mentioned her real age - a huge secret. Cousin Mary Jane lives in her condo by Grant Park - not nearly as luxurious as Alice's penhouse on Lake Shore Drive - but it's a nice location if her condo was kept clean. The "urban legends" generated by Alice - claims that Mary Jane's condo is a real pig sty of a mess.
I met Alice's second cousin Mary Jane a few years ago during the lovely Thanksgiving with Alice's family while she still kept up a younger "façade" in every manner - until it collapsed. Mary Jane speaks in a Louisiana drawl accent and even though her speech is educated - still that Louisiana drawl manner of talking - for some reason - makes my skin crawl - big time.
Last summer Mary Jane and I would go Sundays to Grant Park to listen to a good live band while the local ballroom studio's - dance teacher would teach a group lesson - after which various dancers would crowd a huge, open air dance floor made of tiles.
Since I always know a lot of decent dancers from Chicago's ballroom studios - I manage to dance quite a bit while Mary Jane who never attends any of the studio's ballroom classes - only watches people dance. She has a good time as well since the music by any of the numerous Chicago's bands is almost always good. The city of Chicago pays for good bands.
However when the local news disclosed that the city paid three hundred thousand for one appearance of a young Chicago star - at the "Taste of Chicago" summer fest - who subsequently left Chicago in search for big career brakes which didn't materialize - after a dubiously deserved nomination for an Oscar in a predictable, "black experience" movie about Motown.
When she got paid three hundred thousand dollars for performing in an average manner - three badly written songs during the "Taste of Chicago" summer fest - everybody gasped - but didn't make a comment - to remain "politically correct". Mayor Emmanuel's office announced that in the local media as if he didn't have to sign off on that ridiculous amount of money. The young singer whose first name is Jennifer - barely belted out a couple of songs of a dubious caliber - for three hundred thousand dollars - paid by the taxpayers of the city of Chicago who presently are paying the highest city taxes - in the U.S.
* * *
Notwithstanding all the craziness and danger connected with living in a big city - Chicago still has tons of glorious, free events happening all summer long. The summers are always a huge tourism - boom time - for Chicago so the Chicago police makes sure that various minor hoodlums of every kind crawling along splendorous Michigan Avenue - are greatly discouraged from bothering the tons of tourists cruising the beautiful Michigan Avenue during the long summer months.
Last summer of 2013 - on one lovely late morning towards the very end of June - I walked around the plaza by the Watertower Mall by John Hancock building. The light summer breeze from blue Lake Michigan caressed my face as I waited for Alice's (my Loop friend's) cousin - Mary Ann - the one with that annoying Louisiana drawl manner of speech.
On that Sunday day - first we were to listen to a free, excellent, live Jazz concert - in the Millennium Park which features tons of free performances by the top artists - all summer long. After that we intended to go to the Sunday Ballroom event in Grant Park since the Summer dance events just began.
When I glanced at Mary Ann walking towards me as she took her customary long steps towards me without smiling - I realized that she has a masculine appearance - since she always looked rough and unattractive - a total opposite to her cousin Alice who constantly dressed in an exquisite and elegant manner up until the time when she started loosing a lot of weight from her already slim figure. When that happened over the period of several years - she rarely went out of her beautiful penthouse overlooking the gorgeous Lake Michigan. Her grown children visit her some - but her husband still has the strength to take care of everything. Thank God she has money to be in her own luxurious penthouse at the end of her life. Otherwise - her final days would be miserable - even if she was in a luxurious old folks home where all the rich "clients" are pushed from a corner to a corner when their families are not visiting which is the entire week. Weekends are usually the times - when the families of the old, decrepit, rich folks come for an obligatory visit - while they calculate how much of their future inheritance money - the luxurious nursing home is devouring.
Her cousin - Mary Ann who owns a small condo - a perpetual huge mess - by Grant Park since Mary Ann never cleans her unit - her summer excuse is that she needs to attend all the numerous - splendid and free summer events taking place in the Loop. That particular, lovely Sunday afternoon - close to four o'clock - the big, open dance floor in Grant Park starts to fill with all the regulars who either like to dance - or like to watch the good dancers coming to show off almost every Sunday; however a lot of people come just to enjoy a nice summer afternoon while they watch different people with the main attraction being the good dancers - showin off to the max - their polished moves.
You know - Tina - that I have always been able to watch the people out of the most distant corner of my eye so they are not aware of my looking at them - especially when I wear a big, "movie star" style - sun glasses. So I am watching Mary Ann during the fabulous jazz recital under the roof of Millenium Park - Pavilion which allows the breeze from near by Lake Michigan to circulate through the open walls.
I notice out of the corner of my eye how Mary Ann makes stupid faces than she pokes me with her big elbow - the habit which annoys me more than her Louisiana drawl affected speech. I think briefly that - it's a shame - Millie - my Skokie friend who doesn't annoy me the way Mary Ann does - doesn't like to come to the Loop. In the meantime - Mary Ann never stops gibbering in her Lousiana drawl manner while I want to listen to the musicians but - of course - I can't hiss anything angrily to her - that's not the right time. There is always the right time to take the proper actions.
"Mary Ann - would you not talk since we came here to listen to this beautiful music and don't poke me with your elbow - either - I mentioned to you before that it bothers me," there is a small note of annoyance in my voice.
"Oh, I am sorry, Maggie. I promise to be quiet. Let's stay for another set, Okay?"
"Thanks, but I have to get going right after this set," I answer quickly but inside I think that hell would have to freeze over before I stayed more than necessary with Mary Ann plus I just listened to a beautiful, long set - flawlessly executed by top notch jazz musician. It was a perfect time to get the hell out of Mary Ann's orbit.
* * *
Dearest Tina - my most favorite oldest sister in the world,
As I mentioned to you earlier - the summer of 2014 just began in hilly Pittsburgh and so far - everything about it is very good. You also know that I miss Chicago a lot but for the moment - Pittsburgh will have to do.
Max - our oldest brother has always been deeply in love with the city of Pittsburgh and himself - as you well know. I - on the other hand - after being for a while in Pittsburgh - invariably - make my way back to Chicago since the gorgeous, hilly, she-she-poo-poo, stylish - Pittsburgh's crown jewel - Squirrel Hill - always starts to get on my nerves - big time.
Of course - our big brother - Max after acting in a normal, decent manner for a while - invariably - start showing the "quirky" sides of his personality. When I frequently mention to Millie that our family - here - starts getting on my nerves - she says that the function of our families - is to get on our nerves.
Thank God - finally - I am in a position to make my own choices as to how often I choose to interact socially with Max - which I keep to a minimum since as he gets older - some of his bad habits - get more focused and I don't feel like accommodating him any more than it's necessary. He thinks that his daughters should show him more respect since they may be counting on the inheritance from him. He - however - will - most likely - live a very long life - so they should "make their own" financial plans.
You remember how Max likes to deliver his long speeches to anybody who will listen and this habit of his - gets harder on his immediate family since we all know his stories. At least - our dad - had a lot of literary sense - to be changing his customary "tales'" - details a bit each time he told his long winded narratives - of which some were interesting while a lot of them were boring/predictable "cautionary tales" which almost nobody who listened - took seriously.
My favorite saying to anybody who indulges too much unnecessary talk - "let's make a long story - short with the highlights and the essence - being the major emphasis."
At any rate - now that our father is gone - our oldest brother - Max - continues our dad's tradition which should be forgotten - namely - Max loves to tell long, boring stories - at times to strangers who don't really want to listen to his speeches since they "don't give a hoot".
* * *
Hey, Tina - I mentioned to you that Chicago started to "call me back" which means that I am actively working on getting the hell - out of Pittsburgh until I start missing it since the magnificent Chicago has a lot of problems which change all the time - but I know them extremely well. Everything here - in Pittsburgh - including the "she-she-poo-poo" - fashionable Squirrel Hill - starts to get on my nerves - big time - notwithstanding its unquestionable charm. Our crazy family who has always lived here - with our brother Max currently - being the big "patriarch" - pain in the ass - figure - also works my nerves a lot.
The sweet scent of Lake Michigan during the summers plus the way it looks as it glows with a lot of gorgeous bluish/greenish hues - are all intoxicating. I have this feeling that somehow Chicago will "find" me a suitable place to live so my transition will be as smooth as always - as if some magic forces were on my side and they help me to leave Pittsburgh - as always. If I could only see - down the road - so my Pittsburgh bridges are intact - in case if I need to come back here - even though - now - I can't wait to leave it.
You know that my goals can change daily - however if some plans persist in my head for a while - I - usually - follow my inner guide. Last week - I was convinced that my place is permanently in Chicago which I miss a lot. However - I changed my mind - after Max and I chatted about some stuff not related to my future intentions - since I - usually - don't tell my family what I plan to do - instead I just barge ahead - where I need to go. Usually this gamble pays off - that's not to say that at times - my inner guide - does not lead me as well as I wish that it did - all the time. My independence has always been extremely important to me - even if it's costly in some ways - at times.
One morning after I looked out of my third floor unit's window - into Max'es big back yard full of rose bushes - where I rented a place in Max'es three story mansion - as I smelled the fresh, early morning mountain air which had a scent of beautiful summer breeze - I decided that Pittsburgh's - Squirrel Hill feels a lot better than Chicago during the summer - when the city gets filled to the gills with goofy acting tourists attached to their crazy acting kids - crawling around Michigan Avenue. When I am in Chicago during the summer - invariably - towards the end of it - I and many other people who live in Chicago - feel the same way - we can't wait for the Labor Day when all the visitors with their "bratty" attachments - will - finally - thin out of town until the following summer. Every current mayor always assures the Chicagoans that the tourists who spend the money in the city - are good for business. Fine. However - it's a great relief to get rid of those crowds at the end of the summer.
The autumn would always zoom by fast and - frequently - the fierce Chicago winter will terrorize everybody during January and February - while December and November are always totally glorious in Chicago since the city celebrates the major holidays - on the grand scale.
For now - however - I need to spend some time in Pittsburgh's - gorgeous - Squirrel Hill - while short trips to Chicago are a lot of fun since during the brief visits - I don't need to deal with Chicago's, typical, international metropolis's - numerous problems. As I mentioned to you before - I prefer Chicago in the fall - after all the summer hoopla - when the millions of national and international - idiot acting - tourists with their various human and other - "attachments" - finally clear out of the city until the following June.
Chapter 7
My Dearest Tina,
The summer of 2014 is almost half done - the Fourth of July always marks more than half of the summer - done so - my favorite season - the fall - will be here before long. Right about this time - I start to wait for the cool scent of the occasional autumn breeze - signaling that the summer will end and the fall will arriving soon. Some summers are hot and disgusting toward the end - so far this summer has not been the worst I have had to endure. Thank God for air-conditioning.
I mentioned to you that our oldest brother - Max - has always had a lot of "mean" streaks in his personality which - of course - his immediate family or his ex-wives - get to "experience". If one doesn't get too involved with him - he can present his good points - which he has a few. Towards the second part of his life - he makes a determined effort not to have too many close friends - barring his ex-girlfriends which are scarce as he grows older.
Since I have secured a much better place to live than the top unit in his mansion which he doesn't upkeep properly (as always) - he has been acting in a somewhat vicious manner towards me. He knows that if he acted that way towards his grown children - they would immediately "send him to hell" which I cannot do while I am still living in his slightly dilapidated - mansion. However - you know me - I am a fair and while I don't hold long grudges - especially with our family - nevertheless - it's good to pursue some healthy "payback" before the things go back to normal.
Thank God I have a separate entry so I don't have to deal with him too much except for some necessary business - now - that I am getting all packed to move out of his "castle". It will be great to be in my new place which is well maintained and quite a bit cheaper than my current, old top floor unit in Max'es old mansion which he rented to me at a discount/a great act of God - reminded to me on a weekly bases.
Typically - of Max'es stingy property management style - the apartment is old and constantly needs a lot more work than Max'es - customary minimum cost out of his pocket - he spends on routine maintenance which is chronically - not enough to keep his rental properties in decent conditions.
Long story - short - I can't wait to get the hell out of Max'es old unit in his decrepit looking, old mansion; in a few weeks I will be in my new place which is clean and well maintained. He has been acting "goofy" towards me - the way he can behave when he needs to "assure" himself of his power. As you well know - he has always needed to have the money in the bank - to feel secure which makes him "stingy" most of his life.
You and I have been living different life styles - we spend some money to enjoy life - while we're still here - while Max has always "cherished" to live - way - below his means - so that his bank account grows fatter and fatter - notwithstanding - his - frequently - Spartan and bare - surroundings.
In addition - he doesn't even keep his own unit - the biggest one in his "castle" - clean - which makes my "skin crawl" - because even though he does some bare essential, superficial straightening which is not nearly enough to keep his apartment - tidy - so it started to smell like poor and not very clean old man - the scent of poverty which I detest. To Max'es credit - however - he keeps himself and his wardrobe spotless - since he dances ballroom three times per week which keeps him in a great shape because he wants to present himself - really well - to some future lady partner he is constantly looking for; his body looks young while his mind is very sharp - nobody would ever guess that he is an almost - eighty years old - old fart.
* * *
My Dearest Tina,
I mentioned to you before many times how much I love the cool summers and how I detest the overly hot and bothersome summers with long heat waves; the summer of 2012 - has to be one of the worst on record. Thank God the present summer 2014 - has been - on the cool side and it's almost more than half - over - so my favorite - fall season - can finally - arrive. Every year - in the middle of the summer - I start to wait for autumn which zooms by - entirely too fast.
I need to visit Toronto, Canada and "my" Chicago in the fall since I am waiting for all the tourists with their bothersome - loud and obnoxious children - to get the hell out if those cities. My closest friends have lived there for a long time so I really like to visit with them since we all know those famous cities - well.
* * *
I remember some nice summers in Chicago a few years back - when the free Summer Dance Events in Grant Park - generously underwritten by the city of Chicago - still dazzled the people who participated - the dancers and the onlookers. My favorite day has always been - Sunday - when during the late afternoons - the ballroom teachers from numerous Chicago's ballroom studios - at first - gave some easy beginners' instructions - to a crowd of beginners - after which lots of fine ballroom dancers - showed off their numerous ballroom dancing skills. The beginners would invariably get some silly ideas that only several visits to a ballroom studio for a few short weeks would enable them to move with ease and grace - the way the seasoned ballroom studios' attendants - dance - after perfecting their skills for - at least - several years - a few times per week at the local studios and other ballroom dancing venues.
There is a group of old farts (couples) - who nevertheless - mastered some adequate dance moves - who have been attending the Sunday afternoon ballroom Sundays for many summers at the Chicago's beautifully lush, huge, impressive and full of statues - Grant Park.
Every summer they get older and more decrepit even though - dancing ballroom - undoubtedly keeps them from declining even more. Alice's cousin Mary Jane - the one with that slightly phony Louisiana drawl accent - loves to offer her stupid observations regarding those old timers since she likes to make fun of those old folks - since she sees them at the Summer Dance - every summer. She - herself - frequently - gets on my nerves with many of her abrasive habits of all kinds.
I made a firm resolution to find me another companion for ballroom Sundays for the following summer since the present ones was almost over; it was a late August of last year so I was impatiently waiting for the coming soon - glorious fall which goes entirely too fast - every year. Alice's cousin - Mary Jane - didn't use to get on my nerves - at the beginning of our friendship which had a major goal - to attend the summer Sundays sessions of Summer Dance Ballroom dancing - afternoons. After the first summer with her at the Chicago Summer Dance - Sunday afternoons - a lot of her annoying habits came up to the surface - even if she is well educated and smart in some ways. At the end of that summer - the firm decision to loosen my Sunday Grant Park - associations with Mary Jane - made me feel good about the following summer.
* * *
Many times my ties with people to whom I start getting closer - in various business or other situations - loosen up and fade for some reason. I usually know - when there is a right time to move on and find me some new friends, business associates or acquaintances who may or may not become closer friends. It's much better - to attempt the bold steps rather than to keep looking back for something that's gone. Of course - as you know - both you and I - have some long term friends with whom - we maintain close contact for many years - but even in those cases - our friendships change and morph - like everything else in life. You know what they say - Tina - the only constant in life is that everything changes and one has to learn how to efficiently - "go with the flow" - instead of looking back too much and reminiscing about some great moments of the past. It's always better to concentrate on the present and the future but without obsessing about those two - either.
* * *
Last year right in the middle of a beautiful - like every year - fall season - I decided to leave Chicago - again - knowing that I will miss it and - will come back - for sure - when the time is right. Sometimes - my decisions to make certain big moves - comes to me suddenly - and even though I give my main decisions careful considerations - I rarely change my mind - as if some major events of my life - are firmly recorded somewhere - to be executed by me - in a certain way - no matter what I decide.
So last autumn I decided that the coming Chicago winter full of strong wind from Lake Michigan will not find me in Chicago. Actually - it was a good move to go back to Pittsburgh's - gorgeous Squirrel Hill for a while since the winter 2013/14 turned out to be the fiercest in recent history with Chicago and the cities along the Great Lakes shores - taking the brunt of it - as usually.
I can't believe that it's close to a year since I left Chicago - knowing that I will be back since my fate - is always closely connected to this magnificent city - notwithstanding all its numerous and growing problems - typical to the city of its stature and size during the turbulent but weather-wise cool and beautiful in most states of the U.S. - summer - of 2014.
* * *
My Dearest Tina,
I think that I mentioned to you before about me - writing down - the goals for each year, for each month, for the week and for the day. I heard some smart person comment - that the difference between the dreams and the targeted completed reality - is the time schedule written down and checked off as the smaller completed sections - progress towards the main objectives.
I also believe in miracles of all kinds which happen right when I need them to happen. It's a big part of my general positive attitude - even if at times - there is a right time to be angry and act on it - but the action needs to be smart, moral and effective. At times - it might take time to get the desired results - sometimes - the necessary "paybacks" - take time - no matter what - one needs to have a positive and a strong faith of some kind. I told you that in addition to believing in God - I also believe in my good life with a purpose. It's obvious to me that my destiny is connected to our country - Israel in many ways.
A few years ago I asked you if the modern Israelis have a lot of religious beliefs - and you answered that most Israelis believe in their country more than in any God of any kind. When I visited Israel a few years ago - I also felt a lot of strong and positive emotions for our country since I have always considered her - my second homeland after the United States as I both of us - left the countries of our childhood - Russia and Poland - far behind us.
You always said something funny about the Russian and the Poles - namely that even though both of those nations have more than their share of ignorant - Jew haters and anti-Semites - still - their popular songs, movies, good books and other memorable to us - artistic expressions - are close to our hearts and make us smile as we remember the fun times of our childhoods in those countries.
However - even the most hateful and anti-Semitic elements over there - and everywhere else - nevertheless - richly help themselves to our vast achievements which make their ignorant lives - much better. Ignorance is always the worst of all the diseases plaguing - mankind - many members of which - badly need enlightenment - while the ignorance in many people ravages their minds and lives - just like a dangerous cancer which needs to be treated aggressively - or else.
* * *
I always told you that the very first winter after Jack and I were married was a memorable, a beautiful one and even though there were many subsequent winters equally worth remembering - that first winter - right after our wedding in February - felt like pure magic for a lot of reasons.
It was a lot of fun to walk around the huge Ohio State University campus without worrying about any finals or exams since Jack and I decided to continue our university education in California after he got out of the army in a short few months which we needed to spend in West Germany where he was sent for his last several months remaining in the army. I was happy to travel to Europe as his wife on a cheap, military dependents' - charter. Since he could choose his state of residency after serving in the army - California made a lot of sense to us for a lot of reasons - the main one being - the state colleges were heavily subsidized by the state at that time. I was very glad to get the hell out of the gigantic Ohio State - even if I learned to "navigate" it quite well during my first three years there. Towards my third year at OSU - I worked part-time at their Political Science department - for about a year - right up to the time when I married Jack and left for Europe.
As you well know after you work with people for even a few months - you get to know more about their personal expressions indicating their true personalities (as an opposite to what they lecture during their classes) - than you ever care to find out - for an example - how childish and stupid the grown up faculty members (supposedly - the mature and accomplished - people) frequently act towards each other, staff or anybody working "under" them - notwithstanding the "equality" they espouse while they lecture.
Still - at times - some truly fine people teach at the institutions in the U.S. and other countries - however - from my observations plus from after talking to a lot of other people involved in the so called "academia" environment - I conclude that most faculty employed by the famous colleges and universities are hypocritical since while the dutifully preach the required "gospel" of the politically left leaning pseudo - "humanity loving" liberal scripts - prevalent at most American universities - the big majority of the full time faculty members - in reality - live the lives of the "elitists" with ample "snickering down their noses" on anybody who is not educated, wealthy and accomplished.
* * *
I especially disliked one young faculty member - at that time - but was careful - at the beginning of my part-time job there - not to "ruffle" his selfish - feathers - since I was still going to school at OSU at the beginning of my employment for that department.
Towards the end of the year - however - when I knew that I will be leaving Ohio State for a long time since Jack and I decided to continue our college education in California - I was not that careful around that anti-Semitic, "peacock" - young professor and paid him back a bit - smartly - but not too excessively; he got my messages very clear on several occasions when I jokingly referred to "some vain and probably stupid" faculty members who are "extremely in love in themselves" - which shows and it's as obvious as 'noses on their faces.'"
That particular faculty member - a young "rising star" in the department of Political Sciences since he published some cleverly "regurgitated" articles in some boring, specialized journals published in Washington, D.C - thus securing himself a a full-time contract from the University which they - normally - don't renew past a year or two for so the called "tenured" positions for their young lecturers. Nevertheless he carried himself as if he was a young Einstein - himself - since the graduate students - especially some single, attractive females looked up to him as if the sun was rising and setting around his rear end. The young women studying at the University; the so called "coeds" would - gladly sleep - anyway - with any young faculty member as long as they didn't have an extra leg or a third eye in the middle of their forehead.
* * *
Tina - you know that it's a good emotion to be leaving the place like Ohio State with a great feeling of having settled - fairly but not excessively - all the old "scores" which needed to be "evened out".
You should see the expression on Andy Foxline's face after I made some remarks in a humorous way to another grad student - course I made sure that Andy heard us - who also couldn't stand his exhibitionistic, stupid and degrading remarks towards women. She was the same grad student whom I really liked - the same one who was a brilliant, rich but a "down to earth" individual. She was also the one who told me something smart after she saw him dancing at the party in a totally "I'm in love with myself" - mode.
"I know that he is behaving the same way in bed with any woman; still his good looks are - evidently - deceiving - a lot of women on this campus who are looking to "jump in bed" with any young faculty guy - but that's a currency which will not last very long for him or anybody else who 'banks too heavily' on this factor."
I left Ohio State and some good friends shortly after my "even the score - smartly" encounter with Andy Foxline - hoping never to encounter him of types like him as I joined Jack in West Germany where he waited for me with all the young love that lasted a long time for us. However when Jack and I came back to the O.S.U - campus - briefly that fall - after a glorious spring and summer in Europe - before Jack and I headed to California - I saw Andy on the campus briefly as I pretended not to know him or scum like him.
"Hey - Margaret - it's so good to see you again," he spoke loudly as I was frantic to get rid of him - "out of my face" without appearing overly rude or ever even giving a thought to his stupid persona.
"I don't remember who you are since I just came back from abroad - but - now - I am in a big hurry, so have a nice day," I said quickly with hardly a brief glace in his direction. He got my message very well as he firmly disappeared into my past so I never thought about him or jerks like him - again - since really nice people and circumstances started to permanently - appear in my way right when I needed them - just like all kinds of good magic.
* * *
That gorgeous fall quickly turned into a lovely winter so right after our New Year's Eve party - Jack and I headed towards California - with the violent snow storm starting to chase us - shortly after we drove out of Columbus, Ohio following my parents' teary "good byes" and "have a safe trip to California"; the huge snow flakes dancing in the powerful wind was blinding our van's visibility right about the time when we attempted to stop for lunch late in the afternoon.
"We need to get the hell out of this storm's way - right now - then we can eat. We will head West via the Southern route so we need to drop South and run away from the storm," said Jack after we pulled over to get oriented how to get the hell out of the storm's way and then stop for a meal - following accomplishing our task at hand. It was a good feeling to get rid of the snow storm.
After we ate a light supper - much later that that night - we hit the double bed and I fell asleep quickly as I watched Jack looking at the map. We felt enormously exhausted - having to dodge the raging snow storm. It was great to get rid of it as we headed for sunny, glorious California taking a new and much easier - Southern or winter - route. Jack always had a fantastic sense of direction while I had to learn a lot of that following my divorce from Jack - but not before we had many happy years - together.
When we crossed the sunny Arizona border to the beautiful, warm and sunny - California while we watched every morning on the TV - the dreadful, winter weather pelting Chicago's middle region and the east coast of the U.S - Jack and I - felt as if we found our way to a real paradise.
* * *
Dearest Tina,
As you well know the so called "paradise" conditions do not last very long. After we lived in an enormously expensive San Francisco for several years - we also discovered that this gorgeous looking city is annoyingly windy all throughout the year - a lot more windy than the famous windy city - Chicago. In the winter - in spite of lack of harsh winds and colds - the foggy conditions could get extremely annoying. No pronounced change of seasons like in Chicago - also bothered us quite a bit.
Long story - short - after we graduated from San Francisco State University - Jack and I decided to get the hell out of San Francisco since we didn't like it at all and after living there for several years we discovered a lot of other annoying problems in the "sunshine" state - regarding which - I will give you more details - later.
So we are driving back to Chicago - into this city's typical cold, windy and snowy January - which felt hot and freaky in Los Angeles where we stopped on our way out of California when we were leaving California for Chicago that January. It was good to be back in the Midwest's very heart - Chicago - where everything seemed normal and familiar after living in San Francisco for several years; where we felt as if the city was "phony" like Los Angeles with a lot people who came there looking for great weather along with some other opportunities - longed to go back where they came from - just like Jack and me.
Both of us missed the winter with the snow covering the trees on New Year's Eve so when we were approaching Chicago on the way back from an unusually hot and hazy - January in Los Angeles that year - the typical Chicago wind blowing the cold snow flakes in every direction - especially in Jack's and mine faces - felt super good to us.
* * *
"I don't know why - in spite of all its shortcomings - Chicago feels like home to me," I said casually to Jack while we walked along the most fabulously decorated Michigan Avenue - right by the Water Tower - in the middle of January with the heart of Chicago glowing - splendidly decorated with lavish, Christmassy "doodads" - more elaborate every winter.
"Maybe it's because you see and hear a lot of Polish people around here. Reminds you of Warsaw University times,"
"I don't miss Poland at all and those Chicago Poles also get on my nerves even though the Polish people here - and in the U.S. behave in a civilized, decent manner - for a change since when they are in Poland their attitude - towards the Jews and other minorities - can be ugly at times. U.S. its not their country - so they hesitate to behave in a despicable fashion - the way they do - at times - in their own land which I have no desire at all to visit any time soon."
We stayed in Chicago for many happy years and I will always like to visit there where a lot of the landmarks - will always feel familiar. However ever since I visited our cousin Yulia in Vancouver, B.C. - the dreams of mild winters in that glorious looking city - there started to dance in my head and you know me - once I start to dream about something - very soon afterwards - I start planning to make it - a quick reality even if it takes a while. Of course, you know well that my plans may change - however - for now - I have a project to leave Pittsburgh for one worst month of this coming winter which should be this coming January. According to Farmers' Almanac - it promises be a harsh winter since the Almanac is eighty percent accurate.
I would like to make arrangements to leave a little after Christmas and stay in Canada for a month - so the ticket prices would be in an "off season" range. Remember how we used to celebrate New Year's Eves when we were growing up?
One of the most memorable New Year's Eves that I can recall would - would be the one after which Jack and I left for California - attempting the northern or summer route - but the violent snow storm "re-routed" us to take a southern or so called - "winter route" via the South of the United States. I told you that at that time - the South of the U.S. felt like some kind of another country within a country since I was familiar with the Eastern part of the United State. Now - however - things changed a lot during the last twenty years - in the South - even if the U.S Southern accent is still looked down upon by the so called "Eastern Elitists" - the graduates of Harvard or other Ivy League Universities'. I - personally - really appreciate and like the standard American English used by the TV announcers in Chicago.
* * *
Chapter 8
Dearest Tina,
I think that I mentioned to you before that every day - I try to listen to my inner voice even though I am not sure where it comes from. Sometimes that inner voice leads me to some places which I wish - I never entered - however - most of the time - the same inner voice - shows me the way to great situations. Nevertheless - before I make any major moves - I think it through just like you do.
Mary Beth - an excellent ballroom dancer whom I have known for many years - has always been one of my closest friends. We have a great chemistry together - it's fun to talk to her and watch her terrific dance moves. Max has always been attracted to her since she can follow his advanced dance leads - some of which - sometimes - can be crazy and can get on my nerves and other dancer's nerves - big time (more about that later).
I always find it a lot of fun to be around Mary Beth since she likes to smile in a sincere manner and always tries to have a good time during the dances and otherwise. Those kinds of women are my kind of people. Unfortunately - some people have problems with dealing with individuals who appear successful and confident like me. I never shrink from fair confrontations done in a clever manner. Some smart and brave observers of human behavior - accurately conclude that "if one manages not to have any enemies - they don't have any friends - either."
I told you that every year - I love when the Labor Day holiday arrives because my most favorite season of the year - the glorious fall full of golden leaves - waits just around the corner. Every year - it passes entirely too fast.
For the next segment of this exciting story - please click here - every Monday - Wednesday - and Friday of each week!
What we find helpful around aggressive and abrasive "elements" of many kinds who need to be cleverly put in their place - is the so called "oblique" approach whereby they get the message even though they are not challenged openly - for the moment - at least. There is a place for all kinds of approaches - at their proper time and place. The "confrontational approach" may work sometimes - but if it's chosen - the best thing to do - is to think the situation through - and be prepared for all kinds of possible outcomes. Very frequently - the "hidden script" of some kind of already decided events - will do what they "want" to do. Things will happen in the manner - which we don't expect. A lot of times - they are happening - for the best for our lives.
* * *
Hello Tina, my dearest big sister in the world,
The Oscars ceremonies this year - 2014 went - a little better with Ellen DeGeneres - as a master of ceremonies. Nobody in the liberal media dares to criticize any openly gay people in the entertainment arena or any other area - since the rest of the liberal media hypocrites will - immediately excoriate the criticizing parties - in all the venues of mass communications and label them "homophobes". That phenomenon is - the so called "horse manure" - in addition - the same thing applies to other "minorities" immediately crying "foul" in the face of any justified criticism. Speaking of the professional critics - you should see that old "jerky", shriveled up looking, harsh and merciless - theatrical and movie critic interviewed on the day of the Oscars 2014 - March 2 - 2014. He presented an ugly picture of a mean old fart - who - evidently indulged in the "hard living" of many kinds. While I agree that the criticism should be fair - it needs to point out some positive sides of the work of a person being criticized - because you never know when you might encounter your "criticizee" - in person - under extremely unfavorable to you - circumstances. At any rate - the constructive leaning - criticism shows the critic in a favorable light.
I have to come back to the present day political events for a moment. That international bandit, ex-KGB butcher Putin - who probably prays to the ghost of to the global ex-murderer - Joseph Stalin - every day of his life - blatantly annexed Crimea - a part of Ukraine - at the beginning of March 2014.
When the Russians then the Soviets - attacked Afghanistan - in 1980 - the soldiers of the Soviet army were dropping like "flies" in Afghanistan - no doubt - CIA was helping generously - the opposition forces - who subsequently - betrayed the CIA. Soon after attacking Afghanistan - the Soviets/today's Russians - didn't have enough coffins to bury their dead.
Mr. Putin - take some hints from your predecessors' big mistakes and stop your "gangster-style" threats to the free world! All I can add regarding Putin's blatant, militaristic attempts to bully Ukraine is that in 2014 - the Russians will not be able to show off their audacious hostility the way they did in 1968 in Chekhoslovakia with their big tanks - beating the people down to submission. It's a different world now and Putin will pay the price for his outrageous attacks on Ukraine.
* * *
One of the most memorable novels I ever read which made me frequently think about that story and the author's power of observations - in a true fashion of a great work of art - is a Russian story called "Petty Demon" by Fyodor Sologub. He wrote this novel in 1902 but it passes the test of time since it's just as valid today as it ever was - and it will be important for as long as the writers write novels and the readers - read them.
In a nutshell - the story is a skillful "page turner" relating the turbulent, funny, obscene - inner feelings' - reflections - of a depraved, cynical but friendly to the readers - youngster - Peridonov - living in the early twentieth century Russia which is - as always - full of corruption and political repressions of every kind. His somewhat cruel at times - observations re: the vicious indulgences of some respected members of the society - strike a chord of truth in the fascinated reading public of all ages. These factors contribute to the literary work being always popular with the numerous readers from various countries.
The youthful hero goes through some particularly troubling experiences as he "comes of age" - while he observes the people around him in a merciless but hilarious manner. At times he feels like a victim - especially in high school when - temporarily - at the mercy of some unfair, mean teachers who "gang up" on him while the vicious principal - joins those despicable teachers and the good teachers - cannot help poor Peridonov.
After he gets out of high school, he - himself - acts in a mean manner towards some people during some unexpected circumstances when he gets a temporary opportunity - but afterwards he feels guilty as he perceives himself - an unfeeling despot because of hurting other people's feelings.
In a nutshell - Fyodor Sologub's novel - "Petty Demon" is an international, global masterpiece - because it accurately depicts in a humorous way - a lot of - seemingly - minor, everyday evil stuff - occasionally indulged in - by most people who need to refrain from acting in a vicious manner while they have a "perfect" justification for their decisions. Nevertheless - "Petty Demon" - title speaks for itself and honestly refers to some bad things going on - sometimes - between decent people. The Russians coined the word - "poshlost" which loosely means - "self - satisfied vulgarity" -according to the professional translators.
As I come back to the twenty first century Chicago - I notice that some things about the common traits in most people - don't change all that much - notwithstanding much different conditions of life in other countries - than those in the early twentieth century, imperial Russia where the story "Petty Demon" takes place. What I mean is that - at times - some good and smart people - behave in a questionable manner since - perhaps - it's fun for a while. There is a price to pay for indulging excessively in those types of things.
* * *
Hello Tina - my most favorite big sister in the world, my only one,
Finally the spring of 2014 is almost here after one of the harshest winters - on record - even if it was milder in Pittsburgh than in Chicago. Last fall of 2013 I was enjoying the last days of the Lake Michigan gorgeous beaches - surrounding Chicago like an exquisite shawl - wraps the arms of a beautiful woman. I would listen to various radio reporters on National Public Radio as I walked tha Chicago beaches/parks. One weekend morning I listened to the essay of a young American journalist as she travelled through the beautiful, south American country of Costa Rica and watched the people living much simpler lives - there - as to those compared to the lives of the people living in the U.S.
At the end of her essay - she quoted Aristotle who concluded a long time ago that - "the happiness in an inward journey" than she quoted some unknown sage who observed that "one has to have something to love, something to do and something to wait for". I totally agree with those ever valid - words of wisdom.
Remember, Tina how you and I were the "guides" - especially you - of course - when we travelled in Jerusalem and Bethleehem - following the steps of Jesus when he walked the Earth; our Christian friends visiting Israel to trace the steps of Jesus - loved your almost professional - "travel guide's" presentations - since you know and love - Israel's history so well. I told you before that for me - personally - my dependable - angel/guide is strongly connected to Israel since I frequently picture myself - again - in a beautiful, sunny coffee shop in the middle of a gorgeous shopping mall at the center of a glorious city of Haifa - your and our Israeli family's - beloved home town. You and I sat in the mall's beautiful coffee shop many times while we felt on the top of the world - sipping our delicious filter coffee and nibbling on an exquisitely tasty apple strudel.
* * *
I told you before that after Jack and I divorced I finally felt free to take up ballroom dancing again since Jack always hated to dance and objected to me - dancing with other men even though I never gave him any reasons not to trust me.
Long story - short - notwithstanding the painful passages during our divorce after a long term, stable and happy relationship - one of the good things which came out of that was my freedom to concentrate on dancing - ballroom which I always loved.
You know well that our big brother, Max - has always given himself generous compliments on being "an excellent" ballroom dancer and he could deserve his own boasting "titles" - if he only got rid of his deeply ingrained habits of pounding the floor with his feet and jerking his female partners - way too much when he dances. His lead is good and his dance moves are very adequate even though - you know him - how he is constantly bragging about his - supposedly - very superior - dancing skills.
I noticed something interesting after dancing ballroom for many years in a lot of diverse vanues with different partners of various skill levels that a lot of the dancers personality traits - show - disclose themselves - during their dancing.
* * *
Hey Tina, you know that Millie and I have been close friends - since we were very little. You barely know her since you are much older than me. As it's frequently the case with close friends - our friendship had some "rocky" times when we were distant in the physical locations as well as with our friendly interactions.
It is always easy for me to forget about her occasional roughness since she has tons of positive traits to her character. Still - her personality can be hard to deal with since her honest opinions - solicited or not - frequently cross into an extremely "abrasive" territory - and as you well know me - I don't shrink from confrontation once someone - friend or not - "ruffle my feathers" in a manner that I see as "rude and inconsiderate". I always wonder why it is that with Millie - it's a lot easier for me - to forget about that bothersome flaw in their personality - which - by the way - gets milder as she gets older.
Max has always liked her a lot - especially now - that he hasn't had a lady friend for quite a while. If they ever start dating - I can see powerful "fireworks" coming up between them - or - on the other hand - maybe they would get along fine - nobody knows how the future events could unfold. A lot of so called "seers" predict the future - after the events had already happened.
* * *
My Dearest Tina, my most favorite oldest sister in the world,
It's now April 2014 - the new spring after a harsh winter - the brave crocuses push their blue heads, the birds are singing, violets are also up from the ground. Some days are already warm - the early spring feels great after a brutal winter - so I dream about bluish/green Lake Michigan shining in the glorious spring sun along the beautiful Chicago parks next to Lake Michigan. I almost hear the splending city of Chicago - calling my name. There has to be a way for me to spend the summers there - I am thinking and planning. Stay tuned for a lot of good news regarding that important project.
The winters are a lot milder in Pittsburgh but after a busy winter in Pittsburgh with my "dancing friends" and other long term associates of sorts - I am ready to get the hell out of here fast - like a proverbial Texan out of hell. Can't wait to walk around Chicago which is super lovely in the spring, summer and fall.
The Pittsburgh's - especially the Squirrel Hill "psychos" - start getting on my nerves - big time right about this time of the year when I am ready to go back to Chicago which also has its share of idiots - but at least they are not concentrated in a small area. One of the Squirrel Hill characters is particularly repulsive - and even though I always pretend not to notice him - I say a brief prayer for his health since he started to look like a half a skeleton/corpse in a last few months. His disease made him more loud and abrasive than before he got sick.
Nevertheless - I am enjoying the new spring 2014 and while I am not letting various local "goofs" of any kind - get on my nerves - I find that glancing at various good looking/glamorous people of various ages - plentiful in Squirrel Hill - always lifts my spirits.
Hey Tina - before we move into the beautiful people territory in Squirrel Hill and in Chicago - I have to mention another "character"/guy who walks around Squirrel Hill with the aura of some special entitlement - about him. He looks like a retired army man of some lower rank; he almost never smiles and it appears as if he lives in a four story subsidized housing building relatively well maintained on the edge of Squirrel Hill. He rarely smiles - typical appearance of an ex-military men - the so called "poker face" facial expression - characteristic to the types like him and the West Virginia's (next door neighbor - state) uneducated, prejudiced against everybody - hillbillies - who are also plentiful in Pittsburgh and - sometimes they crawl around the "she-she-poo-poo" - international - Squirrel Hill. One more thing about this Squirrel Hill, ex-military looking type - he tries to wear khaki, army fatigue shorts - even if it's very cold outside. He would not be - like - any - "trend setter" for attire or anything like that.
I told you before that I love to be surrounded with well educated, tastefully dressed people who are well adjusted - and behaving in the best possible - manner. I am not a politician running for office - hoping to collect rich benefits from the government service - so I don't have to endure rude and stupid acting - people - discharging their anger - in my face.
Life gets simpler and much better as I get older. Needless to say - some stuff was easier when I was younger - however - most things which overwhelmed me when I was younger - presently - just flow without any big efforts - so life is a lot more fun - now.
For example - my present neighbor - Ellen - a nice person but I don't feel like making friends with her for several reasons - the main one being that she lives too close and I don't like to be friends with people who are in close proximity to my place. You can't get rid of them - tactfully - if you can - or more directly if they don't respond to a hint - it's not a good thing if they are in "your face" when you don't want to see them.
Another important reason while I don't want to be any closer to Ellen - beyond a quick, friendly, neighborly "hello have a nice day" - is that she rents a unit from Max - so it's business between us - especially taking into consideration the fact that Ellen is a very close friend with the next door neighbor of Max'es three unit building - a guy who acts "goofy" and stupid all the years that he has been Max'es next door neighbor. Remember that our mother always said that the people who try to harm our family in any way - will have a swift angel - stop them in some way. The manners in which those unruly "elements" will be stopped - always vary - but I noticed on many occasions that what she promised us - comes true. Our mother had a huge, kind and sympathetic side to her personality - however - she always emphasized the fact of not trusting the neighbors - much less than the whole "one hundred percent".
The Passover is at hand and I remember some past Passovers when our parents were alive and we were much younger. I can vividly remember Max'es older daughter Ali - when she was two years old and stood up in her chair during our family's Passover celebration - she looked adorable all dressed up in a frilly, holiday Passover dress. This year she will bring her three year old little boy for his first Passover - he will probably behave well (which is not always the case) and stand up in his chair to watch everybody adoring him just like his mother did when she was little.
Max leads the Passovers - now - just like our father did. His ex-wife - Ali's mother - usually comes for Passovers so I hope her brother who usually goes where she goes - will not start getting Ali's - little son - all "riled up and unruly".
Last year my Passover in Chicago went in an extremely "ordinary" fashion - my new friend, Jolie - a middle real estate broker - and I went out to a popular restaurant in Chicago's - cool - North Eastern suburb of Morton Grove where we enjoyed a light Passover meal while we talked a good "gab" during which both of us knew that we needed to "cement" our new friendship.
I told you that some new friends always come handy - but my long time friends like Millie and Alice - are lasting "columns" of support for me and them. In fact - Millie, Alice and I - have formed a "magic trio" for a long time - notwithstanding some occasional pulls on our "triangle". I always feel that whenever I tell Millie or Milochka as we called her when we were little - that I wish something happened - it always or almost always - happens for the best.
The strength of friendship is amazing. Needless to say - the big trust involved in having close friends - can backfire in terms of big betrayal possibilities. I told you before that it's always worth the risk - if the end result - might benefit some people who don't always appreciate the effort to help them.
* * *
Last night's Passover was great. As we get older Max does only the one-night celebration - while our father always did two nights. I always think back about various past Passovers in our family. They happened in many different places with changing members of our family - the new people at our family Passover table - occasional "friends" of mine from the time after I divorced Jack or at times - some Max'es temporary "girlfriends" of Max'es after his second divorce - also "visited" our family's Passover table.
As you know - Max has gone through quite a few short term as well as some longer lasting relationships since he divorced his second wife. I can vividly remember one Passover during which his older daughter Ali - while still living and working in the Washington, D.C. area - right after she graduated from college - came for a Passover to Max'es mansion and she was constantly on the phone with some unspecified party. During that time - I occupied briefly - a half finished - small and dark - garden unit which was to be my dwelling in Pittsburgh. I decided at that time to quickly get the hell out of Pittsburgh - back to "my" Chicago which I always find exciting and familiar after spending some time in Pittsburgh.
I noticed that each time I come back to Chicago after spending obligatory time in Pittsburgh - Chicago seems to embrace me as if that magnificent city was destined for me to be there. However - I mentioned to you that lately - Vancouver, B.C. impressed me as a big, gorgeous, international city where our cousin, Julia has lived for many years with her grown children and grandchildren - where I visited last year where I "fell in love" with the cosmopolitan, fun filled atmosphere of that hilly, well designed urban beauty.
Easter holiday marks the upcoming beginning of the summer which is a most favorite season of our mutual friend - Alex. You told me that Alex should be my so called "last resort" as far as the men in my life are concerned. Max told me to keep Alex firmly on the "back burner" if "there nothing else more fun and suitable".
Alex has some shortcomings - the main one being - his negative attitude towards almost everything in his life. That flaw - however - can be improved as he is not averse to changing his personality a bit. His good points are many and quite important ones - good sense of humor, non-smoker, he is honesty while he speaks "his mind", his appearance is clean; (he looks pretty good - for an old fart) - with the thick gray hair and bright blue eyes. His intelligence is enhanced by a lot of reading. He is observant - with lots of common sense and vast past experiences with various people. Even though his formal education is not a big deal - he has done very well for himself due to his excellent business instincts; he can be an interesting conversationalist.
* * *
This coming summer 2014 will be exciting and fun - since I was offered a good summer job in Chicago. You know how some close friends in Chicago - get on my nerves - at times - even though I like them a lot and we have been close for many years. The decision will need to be made soon - with whom I will stay this summer in Chicago - since my unit at Max'es - in Pittsburgh - will need to be paid for through the summer. I - most definitely - will come back to Pittsburgh at the end of the summer - unless some "script of my destiny" has some other plans for me.
I will describe to you - several types - my choices in Chicago.
Milochka has owned a big townhouse in Skokie for quite a while and her two children have been grown and gone for a long time. She is constantly "kissing up" to me to "plug her in" with Max since he has been single and "available" after his second divorce. What gets on my nerves sometimes is that while she would love the opportunity to date Max (the logistics of their respective distances prevent that for now) - she strongly balks at coming to visit him in Pittsburgh even though he has invited her. She needs to stop acting as if she was a glorious "English Rose" waiting for the millions of eligible suitors to fight over her.
Alice - on the other hand - who also owns a house - which she already paid for - in Skokie - can be frequently - suddenly - angry. I have no clue why she has so much pent up - hostility - which "seeps" out - on occasions. Her only daughter - a middle aged, chunky lady - was diagnosed with MS - a terrible nerves' disease when she was she was very young.
Alice keeps giving me a lot of good news re: her daughter's endeavors to add to her family - so presently her daughter's second surrogate is about to deliver twins so her five year old grandson - also delivered by the surrogate will have a new brother and sister. It's a good thing that her son-in-law's family - is paying for all that. The surrogate mothers are an expensive luxury while a lot of already born - little children - need homes. Notwithstanding Alice's numerous flaws which always come out after several years of a close friendship - still her personality has tons of good qualities of various useful kinds. Most of the time - she is a lot of fun to be around.
Millie - on the other hand - tries not to be rude to her close friends but she - also - can be quite abrasive - on occasions. Also - she likes to change her friends - since she gets tired of them. I am - one of the few friends - she has maintained a close contact with - for a very long time.
I have to mention briefly my American friend - Amy with whom I have been close friends for many years. She has always been elegant in everything - just like her exquisite penthouse in prime location on Lake Shore Drive with a totally glorious view of Lake Michigan. Her taste in everything has always been top notch.
I have to describe her life as fantastic in every way so I ask myself a question - how long can this splendid and luxurious life style continue. For Amy it - evidently - never stops since she has a strong faith in God and afterlife.
However - there is a sad news to tell you about Amy; since you have seen her several years ago - she has been ailing. Her health has been plagued by some "mysterious" problem. I pray for her health almost every morning but she continues to lose ground. Each time I see her - she gets thinner and thinner - as if one day soon - she will fly away to heaven. Right now she looks like a shadow of her previous - elegant and smiling - persona. However - as I mentioned to you earlier - her spirit seems good - most of the time - anyway.
I told you before and you agreed with me that people who have a massive heart attack are very lucky - especially if they are old and lived a full life. You - however - added that if and I am quoting you - "if I can't wipe my own behind - I want to be dead and buried at some nice cemetery, close to my loved ones who left this earth - while the ones who are still alive will have a lot of fun memories about me - so I will continue living in some way even after my body dies."
I remember how you and I had tons of fun - together when I visited you in Israel. It was one of the most beautiful times of my life. That spring felt glorious in Israel while we went to visit some beautiful places connected to the life of our family.
I will never forget our morning full of fun, sisterly chatter - in the lovely and fancy coffee shop located in the big, beautiful Haifa's shopping mall. All that splendor "burns" the eyes of the enemies of Israel which are always too numerous. God Almighty and the strong Israeli army - always give them - justly - what they deserve.
The shopping mall's - coffee shop's - coffee - called "filter" is the best in the world - since they serve the freshly ground coffee in the coffee cup with the small filter full of freshly ground coffee. The memory of that kind of coffee and the scrumptious apple strudel on a cool, sunny early spring day - while we talk and laugh carelessly - carries me safely through some tough days.
Chapter 6
My dearest Tina,
The glorious summer of 2014 is just about to start and my plans changed a bit for now. While I am waiting for my special Chicago magic to start working like it always does - my Chicago project got put on hold for awhile. I decided to focus on my trip to glorious Vancouver, B.C which will happen at the end of September 2014 - one way or another.
We are celebrating our glamorous cousin Yulinka's birthday and - as you know - she has been living in beautiful Vancouver, B.C. with her grown kids - for quite awhile. The last time I was visiting that part of our family - I had a great time. I realize that things changed for her and her husband during the last several years since my last visit. You know me - I have to have some goals to meet in my near future - otherwise I feel as if I am hanging in a "no gravity" space of some sort.
At any rate - this coming summer promises to be a terrific one - not that the last summer was not fun in Chicago - however - towards the fall of last year - some events started to "shape" certain way and I had to make some seemingly - unsettling - at first - decisions which turned out for good. When that happens - I always respond in the right way even if that does not come to focus for me - until after some stuff - happened. As you know - those changes always come out for good.
* * *
Remember when I told you several years ago that the first time I saw Yulinka after not seeing her for forty years - will be always etched in my memory. Passing time put a lot of extra pounds on her - once slim - figure. It wasn't all that generous to me either - it plastered a lot of wrinkles on my face - even if my still slim and mascular figure - pushed back the eternal press of "Father Time."
Yulinka's daughter - Ella - has always been a great beauty - the last time I saw her - she was just a chubby toddler. Our cousin Yulinka sent us many photographs of Ella in various stages of her life. She just turned forty when I saw her and Yulinka - now - most recently. She didn't look a day older than twenty five - and a stunning beauty - as always.
I told you that Canada but especially - Vancouver, B.C. - impressed me a lot and I thought briefly that our family officially entered the United States through a small border town of Calgary, Canada. The luxurious Polish ship - Stefan Batory which left a Polish port of Gdynia - docked in Montreal, Canada after nine days voyage full of dazzling experiences. In Montreal - we boarded the train to New York City so on the way there - we passed the customs in Calgary - from Canada to the United States.
I will never forget that sunny, clear, cool day in the last week of May. The train passed various landscapes - it took almost all day so towards the late afternoon - we arrived at the New York City's Central Train Station where our family stayed an hour - waiting for a connecting train to Columbus, Ohio where our cousins worked as lecturers for the huge Ohio State University.
New York Central Train Station - appeared gray, crowded and confusing but the New Yorkers - milling around impressed me as fantastic, free people - notwithstanding their typical big city - rude and condescending - attitudes - immediately obvious to a smart observer.
* * *
The first summer in the United States was extremely defining and memorable. That first glorious spring in the U.S. - felt like paradise - even though our cousins kept their distance - most likely feeling that they sponsored us so they did more than enough of their duty towards their "poor relatives" from "ah - so suppressed" Eastern Europe.
That spring - Elvis Presley had a big hit "I Saw You Crying in the Chapel" - I thought that the great times will never end. However - when the typical, U.S. hot summer followed - with the heat without the airconditioning - almost unbearable - that summer started to drag. As always - bothersome, hard times always improve. That first cool U.S. autumn - which followed that first damn hot summer - felt great - so did our first American winter - followed by the beautiful spring. Over all - our first year in the United States was rough but our second year was much better. Remember how I told you in a letter that our parents - finally got decent jobs as researchers/translators for the Ohio State University - huge library. I finished my first year at Ohio State - then I met and married Jack Osborne who was completing his army service - thus he was able to pick the state of the residency to finish his college degree. He picked California which at that time had inexpensive state colleges and universities - where both of us completed our respective college degrees which was followed by our first major move to Chicago where he got his first job in television industry as a television news photographer which he loved.
I fell in love with Chicago where we have lived for many years. Long story shortened a lot - now - thank God - I am in a position to love Chicago and relax - while when I was much younger - I adored my life in Chicago for many years - but differently - since while at that time I did to a lot of fun, interesting stuff - nevertheless it was frequently a hard struggle - all at the same time. Now - however - I like Chicago - differently. I can really enjoy it and relax. I have done my share of worrying and sweating. I finished what I needed to do so now I can really relax and enjoy it. I have done my share of worrying about other people's unintentional or intentional - mistakes - which could hurt my business clients. Through all the hard times I have learned to love my life - and enjoy every season. It's a good feeling to know that the good times will last a long time.
* * *
Hello Tina,
This spring of 2014 is absolutely glorious - but the coming summer promises even better. I want to tell you about the fabulous Latin Dance Event from last night. The evening was cool and lovely while the best Salsa, Bachata, Merengue - dancers twirled expertly on the excellent parquet floor of the picturesque community center in the hilly, northern suburb of Pittsburgh.
You know your little sister - I managed to dance with the best Latin dancers and as always - I can keep up with their beautiful, advanced steps. However - before I met my so called "dancing friends" - I needed to stop at my nieces' house for a birthday party for her four year old boy. Normally her parties for his birthday are fun since the weather is mild at the beginning of May and usually a small group of children playing in the back yard - behave normally - while the adults eat hamburgers grilled on the small patio.
Last night - however - the different atmosphere of tension pervaded the event. I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there in a hurry. My grand nephew had only one little - next door neighbor/little girl to play with. I - who normally - get along with little kids - took a strong dislike to this fancily dressed little bitch and it happened for a good reason.
That little fart face took the brand new toy - which I got for my grand nephew and she dragged it through the muddy grass. If I could smack her primp little ass - I would - instead I told her in a proper, diplomatic manner to stop doing it. Her parents were involved in an animated conversation with some birthday party guests - thus they didn't smack her tiny ass the way they should. Luckily - my nephew saved the new toy which I bought for him - anyway - from an early death at the hands - of that tiny - pretty but obnoxious little female - a future so called "bitch on wheels" - the kind - we the normal people - avoid like a proverbial plague.
At the same birthday party - I noticed that the birthday boy's - mother - Max'es older daughter - Allie - really "porked out" a lot. She is always in a better mood when she trims her figure some - but to her credit - she is built like a box - her wide bone structure appears strongly emphasized by her broad shoulders.
* * *
My Dearest Tina,
I told you before that I have always loved the Memorial Day weekend since the coming summer promises to be great. This coming summer of 2014 - looks really good, significant and breathtaking for a lot of reasons. So far the temps have been moderate and lovely so I hope that it will continue in that mode since I don't like overly hot weather - you remember that the summer of 2012 was a really hot hell - an unbearable sizzling mess with the three digit temps - galore. Thank God I had a well functioning air-conditioning unit in my Chicago apartment overlooking the glorious Lake Michigan. This summer I am in Pittsburgh which is mountainous and beautiful - and that makes my missing "my" Chicago less bothersome. Chicago is absolutely glorious during the summer - however I have to be in Pittsburgh for a while for several reasons so I make the best of it - you know me.
As far as the dancing scene goes - I have lot more "dancing" friends in Pittsburgh and I constantly meet new friends for dancing and getting to know each others' - additional possibilities. During the last week's Latin dance - I had an opportunity to dance with an outstanding Latin dancer with whom I have not danced for several years. He progressed from in his status of an excellent Latin dancer to the status of an "outstanding" one. His masterful lead is light like a feather - even though it takes a skillfull dancer like me - to follow his flawlessly. You can be proud of your little sister for keeping up with the best of them.
I told you before that our brother Max loves to dance and he is a passable dancer - even though he always speaks highly about his dancing skills. Perhaps he will learn to soften his rough and bothersome "lead" which I always try to point out to him - in a round about, oblique and diplomatic manner. Max has always been extremely sensitive to criticism - notwithstanding the fact that he always freely "dishes" it out to others - especially to his close family members. He frequently gets on my nerves a lot - but I do my best - not to antagonize him since he can "fly of the handle" as you well know; since we are his close family members - he can indulge in his occasional outbursts of hostility which he couldn't afford with his business associates or even casual friends. Max does not have any close personal friends - even if he is a so called - "friendly, well adjusted, successful guy" by all the conventional standards.
I remember that when he was much younger he used to have some male friends with whom he was close but that was quite awhile ago. He mentioned one time that ever since he got divorced for the second time - his fun life really began. He actually strongly disliked to be married so - as you know - notwithstanding some shortcomings of this situation - he loves to be "free" and "unattached" and live alone.
I think that all of us need to "practice" that life style since the "unions" and "friendships" - usually end - one way or another and - so at times - it's kind of fun to be alone, independent and unattached.
* * *
Hello Tina,
A few weeks ago, at the very beginning of this glorious summer 2014 - I met a youngster - at least - thirty years younger than me. He seems very attractive and intelligent - just the first layer - anyway. His "currency" of the youthful energy still impresses me even though - my past experiences with men a lot younger than me - taught me several valuable lessons on how to treat them and how not to get "swallowed" by their youthful enthusiasm - so this "friendship" continues in the right mode does not get off the right track. I am having fun and keep it all in the proper perspective.
I keep this "friendship" on the so called "back burner" while my goal is to date an older man - classy, sophisticated, accomplished - my style - with this handsome youngster being a so called - "temporary, interim distraction". It's always good to remind him about the situation - to keep him in his place - by diplomatically but effectively "rubbing it in".
As I told you earlier - it's important for me to meet my close Pittsburgh friend - Ella - almost every week since she is a very intelligent, interesting woman with whom I can share a lot of important and fun - weekly happenings. It's necessary to connect like that with someone who thinks like me.
A couple of years ago while I was spending the awfully hot but splendid summer 2012 - in Chicago - I was friends with a lady who was not nearly as interesting and fun as Ella - but at that time - it was enough since Chicago Alice was smart enough and observant enough. Some Sundays we would go to a summer dance in Grant Park which the city of Chicago sponsors every summer.
The vast collection of various human types - of every conceivable backgrounds show up at the Chicago's Grant Park Summer Dance events with the ballroom dancing sessions taking place Sunday afternoons - thus some beautiful, accomplished dancers mingle with the so called "primitive" elements who attempt to dance while they have fun smelling the "beautiful people's" perfumes while they enjoy watching some super dancing moves - in truly democratic, Chicago style; thus a fleeting mix of totally diverse people takes place during lovely Sunday afternoons in Grant Park while the glorious Chicago summer continues - while the gentle summer breeze from beautiful Lake Michigan continues kissing the city of Chicago's fabulous shores.
* * *
Last summer of 2013 was not overly hot in Chicago - nothing like the "hell on wheels" summer of 2012. Since my two close Skokie friends are not interested in Sunday afternoon ballroom events at the gorgeous Grant Park - I hooked up with the second cousin of my other long time friend - Alice who lives in a glorious penthouse overlooking blue Lake Michigan. After she suddenly deteriorated during the last two years - Alice finally confessed to me her real age since she always looked a lot younger - and never mentioned her real age - a huge secret. Cousin Mary Jane lives in her condo by Grant Park - not nearly as luxurious as Alice's penhouse on Lake Shore Drive - but it's a nice location if her condo was kept clean. The "urban legends" generated by Alice - claims that Mary Jane's condo is a real pig sty of a mess.
I met Alice's second cousin Mary Jane a few years ago during the lovely Thanksgiving with Alice's family while she still kept up a younger "façade" in every manner - until it collapsed. Mary Jane speaks in a Louisiana drawl accent and even though her speech is educated - still that Louisiana drawl manner of talking - for some reason - makes my skin crawl - big time.
Last summer Mary Jane and I would go Sundays to Grant Park to listen to a good live band while the local ballroom studio's - dance teacher would teach a group lesson - after which various dancers would crowd a huge, open air dance floor made of tiles.
Since I always know a lot of decent dancers from Chicago's ballroom studios - I manage to dance quite a bit while Mary Jane who never attends any of the studio's ballroom classes - only watches people dance. She has a good time as well since the music by any of the numerous Chicago's bands is almost always good. The city of Chicago pays for good bands.
However when the local news disclosed that the city paid three hundred thousand for one appearance of a young Chicago star - at the "Taste of Chicago" summer fest - who subsequently left Chicago in search for big career brakes which didn't materialize - after a dubiously deserved nomination for an Oscar in a predictable, "black experience" movie about Motown.
When she got paid three hundred thousand dollars for performing in an average manner - three badly written songs during the "Taste of Chicago" summer fest - everybody gasped - but didn't make a comment - to remain "politically correct". Mayor Emmanuel's office announced that in the local media as if he didn't have to sign off on that ridiculous amount of money. The young singer whose first name is Jennifer - barely belted out a couple of songs of a dubious caliber - for three hundred thousand dollars - paid by the taxpayers of the city of Chicago who presently are paying the highest city taxes - in the U.S.
* * *
Notwithstanding all the craziness and danger connected with living in a big city - Chicago still has tons of glorious, free events happening all summer long. The summers are always a huge tourism - boom time - for Chicago so the Chicago police makes sure that various minor hoodlums of every kind crawling along splendorous Michigan Avenue - are greatly discouraged from bothering the tons of tourists cruising the beautiful Michigan Avenue during the long summer months.
Last summer of 2013 - on one lovely late morning towards the very end of June - I walked around the plaza by the Watertower Mall by John Hancock building. The light summer breeze from blue Lake Michigan caressed my face as I waited for Alice's (my Loop friend's) cousin - Mary Ann - the one with that annoying Louisiana drawl manner of speech.
On that Sunday day - first we were to listen to a free, excellent, live Jazz concert - in the Millennium Park which features tons of free performances by the top artists - all summer long. After that we intended to go to the Sunday Ballroom event in Grant Park since the Summer dance events just began.
When I glanced at Mary Ann walking towards me as she took her customary long steps towards me without smiling - I realized that she has a masculine appearance - since she always looked rough and unattractive - a total opposite to her cousin Alice who constantly dressed in an exquisite and elegant manner up until the time when she started loosing a lot of weight from her already slim figure. When that happened over the period of several years - she rarely went out of her beautiful penthouse overlooking the gorgeous Lake Michigan. Her grown children visit her some - but her husband still has the strength to take care of everything. Thank God she has money to be in her own luxurious penthouse at the end of her life. Otherwise - her final days would be miserable - even if she was in a luxurious old folks home where all the rich "clients" are pushed from a corner to a corner when their families are not visiting which is the entire week. Weekends are usually the times - when the families of the old, decrepit, rich folks come for an obligatory visit - while they calculate how much of their future inheritance money - the luxurious nursing home is devouring.
Her cousin - Mary Ann who owns a small condo - a perpetual huge mess - by Grant Park since Mary Ann never cleans her unit - her summer excuse is that she needs to attend all the numerous - splendid and free summer events taking place in the Loop. That particular, lovely Sunday afternoon - close to four o'clock - the big, open dance floor in Grant Park starts to fill with all the regulars who either like to dance - or like to watch the good dancers coming to show off almost every Sunday; however a lot of people come just to enjoy a nice summer afternoon while they watch different people with the main attraction being the good dancers - showin off to the max - their polished moves.
You know - Tina - that I have always been able to watch the people out of the most distant corner of my eye so they are not aware of my looking at them - especially when I wear a big, "movie star" style - sun glasses. So I am watching Mary Ann during the fabulous jazz recital under the roof of Millenium Park - Pavilion which allows the breeze from near by Lake Michigan to circulate through the open walls.
I notice out of the corner of my eye how Mary Ann makes stupid faces than she pokes me with her big elbow - the habit which annoys me more than her Louisiana drawl affected speech. I think briefly that - it's a shame - Millie - my Skokie friend who doesn't annoy me the way Mary Ann does - doesn't like to come to the Loop. In the meantime - Mary Ann never stops gibbering in her Lousiana drawl manner while I want to listen to the musicians but - of course - I can't hiss anything angrily to her - that's not the right time. There is always the right time to take the proper actions.
"Mary Ann - would you not talk since we came here to listen to this beautiful music and don't poke me with your elbow - either - I mentioned to you before that it bothers me," there is a small note of annoyance in my voice.
"Oh, I am sorry, Maggie. I promise to be quiet. Let's stay for another set, Okay?"
"Thanks, but I have to get going right after this set," I answer quickly but inside I think that hell would have to freeze over before I stayed more than necessary with Mary Ann plus I just listened to a beautiful, long set - flawlessly executed by top notch jazz musician. It was a perfect time to get the hell out of Mary Ann's orbit.
* * *
Dearest Tina - my most favorite oldest sister in the world,
As I mentioned to you earlier - the summer of 2014 just began in hilly Pittsburgh and so far - everything about it is very good. You also know that I miss Chicago a lot but for the moment - Pittsburgh will have to do.
Max - our oldest brother has always been deeply in love with the city of Pittsburgh and himself - as you well know. I - on the other hand - after being for a while in Pittsburgh - invariably - make my way back to Chicago since the gorgeous, hilly, she-she-poo-poo, stylish - Pittsburgh's crown jewel - Squirrel Hill - always starts to get on my nerves - big time.
Of course - our big brother - Max after acting in a normal, decent manner for a while - invariably - start showing the "quirky" sides of his personality. When I frequently mention to Millie that our family - here - starts getting on my nerves - she says that the function of our families - is to get on our nerves.
Thank God - finally - I am in a position to make my own choices as to how often I choose to interact socially with Max - which I keep to a minimum since as he gets older - some of his bad habits - get more focused and I don't feel like accommodating him any more than it's necessary. He thinks that his daughters should show him more respect since they may be counting on the inheritance from him. He - however - will - most likely - live a very long life - so they should "make their own" financial plans.
You remember how Max likes to deliver his long speeches to anybody who will listen and this habit of his - gets harder on his immediate family since we all know his stories. At least - our dad - had a lot of literary sense - to be changing his customary "tales'" - details a bit each time he told his long winded narratives - of which some were interesting while a lot of them were boring/predictable "cautionary tales" which almost nobody who listened - took seriously.
My favorite saying to anybody who indulges too much unnecessary talk - "let's make a long story - short with the highlights and the essence - being the major emphasis."
At any rate - now that our father is gone - our oldest brother - Max - continues our dad's tradition which should be forgotten - namely - Max loves to tell long, boring stories - at times to strangers who don't really want to listen to his speeches since they "don't give a hoot".
* * *
Hey, Tina - I mentioned to you that Chicago started to "call me back" which means that I am actively working on getting the hell - out of Pittsburgh until I start missing it since the magnificent Chicago has a lot of problems which change all the time - but I know them extremely well. Everything here - in Pittsburgh - including the "she-she-poo-poo" - fashionable Squirrel Hill - starts to get on my nerves - big time - notwithstanding its unquestionable charm. Our crazy family who has always lived here - with our brother Max currently - being the big "patriarch" - pain in the ass - figure - also works my nerves a lot.
The sweet scent of Lake Michigan during the summers plus the way it looks as it glows with a lot of gorgeous bluish/greenish hues - are all intoxicating. I have this feeling that somehow Chicago will "find" me a suitable place to live so my transition will be as smooth as always - as if some magic forces were on my side and they help me to leave Pittsburgh - as always. If I could only see - down the road - so my Pittsburgh bridges are intact - in case if I need to come back here - even though - now - I can't wait to leave it.
You know that my goals can change daily - however if some plans persist in my head for a while - I - usually - follow my inner guide. Last week - I was convinced that my place is permanently in Chicago which I miss a lot. However - I changed my mind - after Max and I chatted about some stuff not related to my future intentions - since I - usually - don't tell my family what I plan to do - instead I just barge ahead - where I need to go. Usually this gamble pays off - that's not to say that at times - my inner guide - does not lead me as well as I wish that it did - all the time. My independence has always been extremely important to me - even if it's costly in some ways - at times.
One morning after I looked out of my third floor unit's window - into Max'es big back yard full of rose bushes - where I rented a place in Max'es three story mansion - as I smelled the fresh, early morning mountain air which had a scent of beautiful summer breeze - I decided that Pittsburgh's - Squirrel Hill feels a lot better than Chicago during the summer - when the city gets filled to the gills with goofy acting tourists attached to their crazy acting kids - crawling around Michigan Avenue. When I am in Chicago during the summer - invariably - towards the end of it - I and many other people who live in Chicago - feel the same way - we can't wait for the Labor Day when all the visitors with their "bratty" attachments - will - finally - thin out of town until the following summer. Every current mayor always assures the Chicagoans that the tourists who spend the money in the city - are good for business. Fine. However - it's a great relief to get rid of those crowds at the end of the summer.
The autumn would always zoom by fast and - frequently - the fierce Chicago winter will terrorize everybody during January and February - while December and November are always totally glorious in Chicago since the city celebrates the major holidays - on the grand scale.
For now - however - I need to spend some time in Pittsburgh's - gorgeous - Squirrel Hill - while short trips to Chicago are a lot of fun since during the brief visits - I don't need to deal with Chicago's, typical, international metropolis's - numerous problems. As I mentioned to you before - I prefer Chicago in the fall - after all the summer hoopla - when the millions of national and international - idiot acting - tourists with their various human and other - "attachments" - finally clear out of the city until the following June.
Chapter 7
My Dearest Tina,
The summer of 2014 is almost half done - the Fourth of July always marks more than half of the summer - done so - my favorite season - the fall - will be here before long. Right about this time - I start to wait for the cool scent of the occasional autumn breeze - signaling that the summer will end and the fall will arriving soon. Some summers are hot and disgusting toward the end - so far this summer has not been the worst I have had to endure. Thank God for air-conditioning.
I mentioned to you that our oldest brother - Max - has always had a lot of "mean" streaks in his personality which - of course - his immediate family or his ex-wives - get to "experience". If one doesn't get too involved with him - he can present his good points - which he has a few. Towards the second part of his life - he makes a determined effort not to have too many close friends - barring his ex-girlfriends which are scarce as he grows older.
Since I have secured a much better place to live than the top unit in his mansion which he doesn't upkeep properly (as always) - he has been acting in a somewhat vicious manner towards me. He knows that if he acted that way towards his grown children - they would immediately "send him to hell" which I cannot do while I am still living in his slightly dilapidated - mansion. However - you know me - I am a fair and while I don't hold long grudges - especially with our family - nevertheless - it's good to pursue some healthy "payback" before the things go back to normal.
Thank God I have a separate entry so I don't have to deal with him too much except for some necessary business - now - that I am getting all packed to move out of his "castle". It will be great to be in my new place which is well maintained and quite a bit cheaper than my current, old top floor unit in Max'es old mansion which he rented to me at a discount/a great act of God - reminded to me on a weekly bases.
Typically - of Max'es stingy property management style - the apartment is old and constantly needs a lot more work than Max'es - customary minimum cost out of his pocket - he spends on routine maintenance which is chronically - not enough to keep his rental properties in decent conditions.
Long story - short - I can't wait to get the hell out of Max'es old unit in his decrepit looking, old mansion; in a few weeks I will be in my new place which is clean and well maintained. He has been acting "goofy" towards me - the way he can behave when he needs to "assure" himself of his power. As you well know - he has always needed to have the money in the bank - to feel secure which makes him "stingy" most of his life.
You and I have been living different life styles - we spend some money to enjoy life - while we're still here - while Max has always "cherished" to live - way - below his means - so that his bank account grows fatter and fatter - notwithstanding - his - frequently - Spartan and bare - surroundings.
In addition - he doesn't even keep his own unit - the biggest one in his "castle" - clean - which makes my "skin crawl" - because even though he does some bare essential, superficial straightening which is not nearly enough to keep his apartment - tidy - so it started to smell like poor and not very clean old man - the scent of poverty which I detest. To Max'es credit - however - he keeps himself and his wardrobe spotless - since he dances ballroom three times per week which keeps him in a great shape because he wants to present himself - really well - to some future lady partner he is constantly looking for; his body looks young while his mind is very sharp - nobody would ever guess that he is an almost - eighty years old - old fart.
* * *
My Dearest Tina,
I mentioned to you before many times how much I love the cool summers and how I detest the overly hot and bothersome summers with long heat waves; the summer of 2012 - has to be one of the worst on record. Thank God the present summer 2014 - has been - on the cool side and it's almost more than half - over - so my favorite - fall season - can finally - arrive. Every year - in the middle of the summer - I start to wait for autumn which zooms by - entirely too fast.
I need to visit Toronto, Canada and "my" Chicago in the fall since I am waiting for all the tourists with their bothersome - loud and obnoxious children - to get the hell out if those cities. My closest friends have lived there for a long time so I really like to visit with them since we all know those famous cities - well.
* * *
I remember some nice summers in Chicago a few years back - when the free Summer Dance Events in Grant Park - generously underwritten by the city of Chicago - still dazzled the people who participated - the dancers and the onlookers. My favorite day has always been - Sunday - when during the late afternoons - the ballroom teachers from numerous Chicago's ballroom studios - at first - gave some easy beginners' instructions - to a crowd of beginners - after which lots of fine ballroom dancers - showed off their numerous ballroom dancing skills. The beginners would invariably get some silly ideas that only several visits to a ballroom studio for a few short weeks would enable them to move with ease and grace - the way the seasoned ballroom studios' attendants - dance - after perfecting their skills for - at least - several years - a few times per week at the local studios and other ballroom dancing venues.
There is a group of old farts (couples) - who nevertheless - mastered some adequate dance moves - who have been attending the Sunday afternoon ballroom Sundays for many summers at the Chicago's beautifully lush, huge, impressive and full of statues - Grant Park.
Every summer they get older and more decrepit even though - dancing ballroom - undoubtedly keeps them from declining even more. Alice's cousin Mary Jane - the one with that slightly phony Louisiana drawl accent - loves to offer her stupid observations regarding those old timers since she likes to make fun of those old folks - since she sees them at the Summer Dance - every summer. She - herself - frequently - gets on my nerves with many of her abrasive habits of all kinds.
I made a firm resolution to find me another companion for ballroom Sundays for the following summer since the present ones was almost over; it was a late August of last year so I was impatiently waiting for the coming soon - glorious fall which goes entirely too fast - every year. Alice's cousin - Mary Jane - didn't use to get on my nerves - at the beginning of our friendship which had a major goal - to attend the summer Sundays sessions of Summer Dance Ballroom dancing - afternoons. After the first summer with her at the Chicago Summer Dance - Sunday afternoons - a lot of her annoying habits came up to the surface - even if she is well educated and smart in some ways. At the end of that summer - the firm decision to loosen my Sunday Grant Park - associations with Mary Jane - made me feel good about the following summer.
* * *
Many times my ties with people to whom I start getting closer - in various business or other situations - loosen up and fade for some reason. I usually know - when there is a right time to move on and find me some new friends, business associates or acquaintances who may or may not become closer friends. It's much better - to attempt the bold steps rather than to keep looking back for something that's gone. Of course - as you know - both you and I - have some long term friends with whom - we maintain close contact for many years - but even in those cases - our friendships change and morph - like everything else in life. You know what they say - Tina - the only constant in life is that everything changes and one has to learn how to efficiently - "go with the flow" - instead of looking back too much and reminiscing about some great moments of the past. It's always better to concentrate on the present and the future but without obsessing about those two - either.
* * *
Last year right in the middle of a beautiful - like every year - fall season - I decided to leave Chicago - again - knowing that I will miss it and - will come back - for sure - when the time is right. Sometimes - my decisions to make certain big moves - comes to me suddenly - and even though I give my main decisions careful considerations - I rarely change my mind - as if some major events of my life - are firmly recorded somewhere - to be executed by me - in a certain way - no matter what I decide.
So last autumn I decided that the coming Chicago winter full of strong wind from Lake Michigan will not find me in Chicago. Actually - it was a good move to go back to Pittsburgh's - gorgeous Squirrel Hill for a while since the winter 2013/14 turned out to be the fiercest in recent history with Chicago and the cities along the Great Lakes shores - taking the brunt of it - as usually.
I can't believe that it's close to a year since I left Chicago - knowing that I will be back since my fate - is always closely connected to this magnificent city - notwithstanding all its numerous and growing problems - typical to the city of its stature and size during the turbulent but weather-wise cool and beautiful in most states of the U.S. - summer - of 2014.
* * *
My Dearest Tina,
I think that I mentioned to you before about me - writing down - the goals for each year, for each month, for the week and for the day. I heard some smart person comment - that the difference between the dreams and the targeted completed reality - is the time schedule written down and checked off as the smaller completed sections - progress towards the main objectives.
I also believe in miracles of all kinds which happen right when I need them to happen. It's a big part of my general positive attitude - even if at times - there is a right time to be angry and act on it - but the action needs to be smart, moral and effective. At times - it might take time to get the desired results - sometimes - the necessary "paybacks" - take time - no matter what - one needs to have a positive and a strong faith of some kind. I told you that in addition to believing in God - I also believe in my good life with a purpose. It's obvious to me that my destiny is connected to our country - Israel in many ways.
A few years ago I asked you if the modern Israelis have a lot of religious beliefs - and you answered that most Israelis believe in their country more than in any God of any kind. When I visited Israel a few years ago - I also felt a lot of strong and positive emotions for our country since I have always considered her - my second homeland after the United States as I both of us - left the countries of our childhood - Russia and Poland - far behind us.
You always said something funny about the Russian and the Poles - namely that even though both of those nations have more than their share of ignorant - Jew haters and anti-Semites - still - their popular songs, movies, good books and other memorable to us - artistic expressions - are close to our hearts and make us smile as we remember the fun times of our childhoods in those countries.
However - even the most hateful and anti-Semitic elements over there - and everywhere else - nevertheless - richly help themselves to our vast achievements which make their ignorant lives - much better. Ignorance is always the worst of all the diseases plaguing - mankind - many members of which - badly need enlightenment - while the ignorance in many people ravages their minds and lives - just like a dangerous cancer which needs to be treated aggressively - or else.
* * *
I always told you that the very first winter after Jack and I were married was a memorable, a beautiful one and even though there were many subsequent winters equally worth remembering - that first winter - right after our wedding in February - felt like pure magic for a lot of reasons.
It was a lot of fun to walk around the huge Ohio State University campus without worrying about any finals or exams since Jack and I decided to continue our university education in California after he got out of the army in a short few months which we needed to spend in West Germany where he was sent for his last several months remaining in the army. I was happy to travel to Europe as his wife on a cheap, military dependents' - charter. Since he could choose his state of residency after serving in the army - California made a lot of sense to us for a lot of reasons - the main one being - the state colleges were heavily subsidized by the state at that time. I was very glad to get the hell out of the gigantic Ohio State - even if I learned to "navigate" it quite well during my first three years there. Towards my third year at OSU - I worked part-time at their Political Science department - for about a year - right up to the time when I married Jack and left for Europe.
As you well know after you work with people for even a few months - you get to know more about their personal expressions indicating their true personalities (as an opposite to what they lecture during their classes) - than you ever care to find out - for an example - how childish and stupid the grown up faculty members (supposedly - the mature and accomplished - people) frequently act towards each other, staff or anybody working "under" them - notwithstanding the "equality" they espouse while they lecture.
Still - at times - some truly fine people teach at the institutions in the U.S. and other countries - however - from my observations plus from after talking to a lot of other people involved in the so called "academia" environment - I conclude that most faculty employed by the famous colleges and universities are hypocritical since while the dutifully preach the required "gospel" of the politically left leaning pseudo - "humanity loving" liberal scripts - prevalent at most American universities - the big majority of the full time faculty members - in reality - live the lives of the "elitists" with ample "snickering down their noses" on anybody who is not educated, wealthy and accomplished.
* * *
I especially disliked one young faculty member - at that time - but was careful - at the beginning of my part-time job there - not to "ruffle" his selfish - feathers - since I was still going to school at OSU at the beginning of my employment for that department.
Towards the end of the year - however - when I knew that I will be leaving Ohio State for a long time since Jack and I decided to continue our college education in California - I was not that careful around that anti-Semitic, "peacock" - young professor and paid him back a bit - smartly - but not too excessively; he got my messages very clear on several occasions when I jokingly referred to "some vain and probably stupid" faculty members who are "extremely in love in themselves" - which shows and it's as obvious as 'noses on their faces.'"
That particular faculty member - a young "rising star" in the department of Political Sciences since he published some cleverly "regurgitated" articles in some boring, specialized journals published in Washington, D.C - thus securing himself a a full-time contract from the University which they - normally - don't renew past a year or two for so the called "tenured" positions for their young lecturers. Nevertheless he carried himself as if he was a young Einstein - himself - since the graduate students - especially some single, attractive females looked up to him as if the sun was rising and setting around his rear end. The young women studying at the University; the so called "coeds" would - gladly sleep - anyway - with any young faculty member as long as they didn't have an extra leg or a third eye in the middle of their forehead.
* * *
Tina - you know that it's a good emotion to be leaving the place like Ohio State with a great feeling of having settled - fairly but not excessively - all the old "scores" which needed to be "evened out".
You should see the expression on Andy Foxline's face after I made some remarks in a humorous way to another grad student - course I made sure that Andy heard us - who also couldn't stand his exhibitionistic, stupid and degrading remarks towards women. She was the same grad student whom I really liked - the same one who was a brilliant, rich but a "down to earth" individual. She was also the one who told me something smart after she saw him dancing at the party in a totally "I'm in love with myself" - mode.
"I know that he is behaving the same way in bed with any woman; still his good looks are - evidently - deceiving - a lot of women on this campus who are looking to "jump in bed" with any young faculty guy - but that's a currency which will not last very long for him or anybody else who 'banks too heavily' on this factor."
I left Ohio State and some good friends shortly after my "even the score - smartly" encounter with Andy Foxline - hoping never to encounter him of types like him as I joined Jack in West Germany where he waited for me with all the young love that lasted a long time for us. However when Jack and I came back to the O.S.U - campus - briefly that fall - after a glorious spring and summer in Europe - before Jack and I headed to California - I saw Andy on the campus briefly as I pretended not to know him or scum like him.
"Hey - Margaret - it's so good to see you again," he spoke loudly as I was frantic to get rid of him - "out of my face" without appearing overly rude or ever even giving a thought to his stupid persona.
"I don't remember who you are since I just came back from abroad - but - now - I am in a big hurry, so have a nice day," I said quickly with hardly a brief glace in his direction. He got my message very well as he firmly disappeared into my past so I never thought about him or jerks like him - again - since really nice people and circumstances started to permanently - appear in my way right when I needed them - just like all kinds of good magic.
* * *
That gorgeous fall quickly turned into a lovely winter so right after our New Year's Eve party - Jack and I headed towards California - with the violent snow storm starting to chase us - shortly after we drove out of Columbus, Ohio following my parents' teary "good byes" and "have a safe trip to California"; the huge snow flakes dancing in the powerful wind was blinding our van's visibility right about the time when we attempted to stop for lunch late in the afternoon.
"We need to get the hell out of this storm's way - right now - then we can eat. We will head West via the Southern route so we need to drop South and run away from the storm," said Jack after we pulled over to get oriented how to get the hell out of the storm's way and then stop for a meal - following accomplishing our task at hand. It was a good feeling to get rid of the snow storm.
After we ate a light supper - much later that that night - we hit the double bed and I fell asleep quickly as I watched Jack looking at the map. We felt enormously exhausted - having to dodge the raging snow storm. It was great to get rid of it as we headed for sunny, glorious California taking a new and much easier - Southern or winter - route. Jack always had a fantastic sense of direction while I had to learn a lot of that following my divorce from Jack - but not before we had many happy years - together.
When we crossed the sunny Arizona border to the beautiful, warm and sunny - California while we watched every morning on the TV - the dreadful, winter weather pelting Chicago's middle region and the east coast of the U.S - Jack and I - felt as if we found our way to a real paradise.
* * *
Dearest Tina,
As you well know the so called "paradise" conditions do not last very long. After we lived in an enormously expensive San Francisco for several years - we also discovered that this gorgeous looking city is annoyingly windy all throughout the year - a lot more windy than the famous windy city - Chicago. In the winter - in spite of lack of harsh winds and colds - the foggy conditions could get extremely annoying. No pronounced change of seasons like in Chicago - also bothered us quite a bit.
Long story - short - after we graduated from San Francisco State University - Jack and I decided to get the hell out of San Francisco since we didn't like it at all and after living there for several years we discovered a lot of other annoying problems in the "sunshine" state - regarding which - I will give you more details - later.
So we are driving back to Chicago - into this city's typical cold, windy and snowy January - which felt hot and freaky in Los Angeles where we stopped on our way out of California when we were leaving California for Chicago that January. It was good to be back in the Midwest's very heart - Chicago - where everything seemed normal and familiar after living in San Francisco for several years; where we felt as if the city was "phony" like Los Angeles with a lot people who came there looking for great weather along with some other opportunities - longed to go back where they came from - just like Jack and me.
Both of us missed the winter with the snow covering the trees on New Year's Eve so when we were approaching Chicago on the way back from an unusually hot and hazy - January in Los Angeles that year - the typical Chicago wind blowing the cold snow flakes in every direction - especially in Jack's and mine faces - felt super good to us.
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"I don't know why - in spite of all its shortcomings - Chicago feels like home to me," I said casually to Jack while we walked along the most fabulously decorated Michigan Avenue - right by the Water Tower - in the middle of January with the heart of Chicago glowing - splendidly decorated with lavish, Christmassy "doodads" - more elaborate every winter.
"Maybe it's because you see and hear a lot of Polish people around here. Reminds you of Warsaw University times,"
"I don't miss Poland at all and those Chicago Poles also get on my nerves even though the Polish people here - and in the U.S. behave in a civilized, decent manner - for a change since when they are in Poland their attitude - towards the Jews and other minorities - can be ugly at times. U.S. its not their country - so they hesitate to behave in a despicable fashion - the way they do - at times - in their own land which I have no desire at all to visit any time soon."
We stayed in Chicago for many happy years and I will always like to visit there where a lot of the landmarks - will always feel familiar. However ever since I visited our cousin Yulia in Vancouver, B.C. - the dreams of mild winters in that glorious looking city - there started to dance in my head and you know me - once I start to dream about something - very soon afterwards - I start planning to make it - a quick reality even if it takes a while. Of course, you know well that my plans may change - however - for now - I have a project to leave Pittsburgh for one worst month of this coming winter which should be this coming January. According to Farmers' Almanac - it promises be a harsh winter since the Almanac is eighty percent accurate.
I would like to make arrangements to leave a little after Christmas and stay in Canada for a month - so the ticket prices would be in an "off season" range. Remember how we used to celebrate New Year's Eves when we were growing up?
One of the most memorable New Year's Eves that I can recall would - would be the one after which Jack and I left for California - attempting the northern or summer route - but the violent snow storm "re-routed" us to take a southern or so called - "winter route" via the South of the United States. I told you that at that time - the South of the U.S. felt like some kind of another country within a country since I was familiar with the Eastern part of the United State. Now - however - things changed a lot during the last twenty years - in the South - even if the U.S Southern accent is still looked down upon by the so called "Eastern Elitists" - the graduates of Harvard or other Ivy League Universities'. I - personally - really appreciate and like the standard American English used by the TV announcers in Chicago.
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Chapter 8
Dearest Tina,
I think that I mentioned to you before that every day - I try to listen to my inner voice even though I am not sure where it comes from. Sometimes that inner voice leads me to some places which I wish - I never entered - however - most of the time - the same inner voice - shows me the way to great situations. Nevertheless - before I make any major moves - I think it through just like you do.
Mary Beth - an excellent ballroom dancer whom I have known for many years - has always been one of my closest friends. We have a great chemistry together - it's fun to talk to her and watch her terrific dance moves. Max has always been attracted to her since she can follow his advanced dance leads - some of which - sometimes - can be crazy and can get on my nerves and other dancer's nerves - big time (more about that later).
I always find it a lot of fun to be around Mary Beth since she likes to smile in a sincere manner and always tries to have a good time during the dances and otherwise. Those kinds of women are my kind of people. Unfortunately - some people have problems with dealing with individuals who appear successful and confident like me. I never shrink from fair confrontations done in a clever manner. Some smart and brave observers of human behavior - accurately conclude that "if one manages not to have any enemies - they don't have any friends - either."
I told you that every year - I love when the Labor Day holiday arrives because my most favorite season of the year - the glorious fall full of golden leaves - waits just around the corner. Every year - it passes entirely too fast.
For the next segment of this exciting story - please click here - every Monday - Wednesday - and Friday of each week!
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