Tango Fire - The Tenth Installment.

•            Tango Fire      

                Memoirs

                     

              

    

             Copyright@ L. Hadley - 2026

Updated 

Mon. 05 - Oct. - 2026 - please - go to 16th Installment - chapter 203.

            Work of fiction. Any similarity to real people or circumstances are purely coincidental.    

        

        For the next segment of this exciting story - please - click here every Monday - Wednesday and Friday - of each week! 

                     

                             Chapter 81

        When the doctor came into the examining room with a sincere looking smile - he started to examine me after asking me a few routine questions about when I had my last exam and things like that. Upon finishing his exam which didn't take very long - he pitched his gloves into the fancy looking waste basket then asked me to dress and come to his office since he needed to talk to me and explain some stuff. I noticed that he stopped smiling.

        He was a handsome, gray haired older guy. He looked successful and kind.

       "I am afraid that I have a piece of bad news for you - Mrs. Osborne - but don't be too alarmed. Now a days we can do a lot. I have been examining women for forty-five years and I can feel a big, hard cyst on your left ovary - the sooner we go in and remove it - the better. You can conceive with your right ovary. I have many patients who come in to see me with the babies they conceived with one ovary," he spoke to me softly from behind his fancy desk. I had to think quick and not be alarmed thus the decision to check into the hospital as soon as possible - came to me quickly. I always try to be brave and act fast. It's not easy but that's me.

                   

                  *        *        *    

         I woke up after the surgery in the recovery room. Jack came up to me and smiled.

       "I just had a long talk with the doctor, and he told me that everything went well."

       "So, they removed the left ovary?"

       "Yes. Everything went well."

       "I am only thirty years old. I will have hot flashes and shit since I have only one ovary - now,"

       "Don't worry. We will find you something for hot flashes. Tons of women have just one ovary. You don't want to be pregnant - anyway. It's God's finger. Just concentrate on getting strong and coming home very soon."

             

             *         *        *             

         Our small house looked like a mansion after I came home from the hospital. The three cats - which were with us for several years - were happy to see me back. Their clean and fluffy fur felt good when they rubbed against my legs and purred happily. It was good to be back to my normal routine - which was suddenly interrupted in a big time - for a while. 

       The holiday season during that memorable year was exceptionally joyous for me and Jack. Our love was still young and strong. When I look back at that year - I think about how close I was from a different sort of diagnosis. That whole year was defining and memorable.

      My older niece - three years old at that time was going through her own "dilemma" of sorts - namely - her parents brought home from the hospital - her little sister who was just born and who was getting all the attention in the world which was infuriating to her older sister. That crisis passed as they always do - until some others come up.

                          

                      *       *      *     

      Let's fast forward thirty years - my nieces are all grown up and "wrapped up" in their own families. Jack and I divorced after twenty years of mostly happy - marriage. 

      My older sister - Tina - who has made a successful life for herself and her family in Israel - is coming to visit me in Pittsburgh (where I moved - after I left Chicago - to be closer to Max and his family who has always lived in Pittsburgh's - hilly and charming - Squirrel Hill).

      As I am waiting for her at Pittsburgh International Airport - I wonder what does she look like - today since I have not seen her in twenty years and the photographs can be misleading at times.

      I couldn't believe my eyes - I barely recognized her as she walked like a queen - towards me upon getting off the plane. Her wardrobe looks super on her tall figure - since she wears the latest European designers. I felt like a Cinderella and told her so after we hugged while she smelled of the fabulous "Dolce Vita" perfume by Christian Dior.

      "How is it that you come to visit me from war torn Israel looking like a British royalty - while I - living in the rich U.S.A. - feel like a Cinderella - next to you?"

       "You never look like any Cinderella. Ever since you were a little fart - you walk around like you own the place - every place you go."

        "Still - I am currently struggling financially after my divorce - while you are always living your 'dolce vita' in Israel."

       "You need to come to Israel. That's your country and you know it."

       "What do you mean? I love the United States. I don't want to go live in another country and start from nothing - again - like our parents did - coming to the U.S. while they were middle aged. I am not any kind of genius with some outstanding skills which would be welcomed and appreciated in Israel which is full of geniuses - anyway."

        "Okay. I can see your point - so just work hard - for now - build yourself a decent pension - make sure you get a good 'chunk' of Jack's pension as well - then come to Israel to live."

       "That's a plan." 

        I had a big goal for the next several years. The images of me landing at LOD airport in Tel Aviv - kept me focused for the next few years. As if some kind of magic happened - right after Tina left the U.S. - I got a half way decent job - which - of course followed - quite a few job rejections. A par for the course - as the smart people - say.

                   *      *      *             

        When I think of some of the happiest, most exciting and defining times of my life - this important visit from Tina was one of them. 

       I will never forget happy day which felt glorious. Jack and I finally opened the front doors to our deli/bakery. Before that happened - we spent time and money changing a run down commercial place into a beautiful, almost new venue - nicely decorated in modern style in the front part - with warm colors and light fixtures. The back of the venue had a big kitchen equipped in commercial kitchen tools and big work tables.

       The morning when Jack and I - finally - opened the main, front doors for the walk-in - customers - was memorable. Within ten minutes a young guy, a local neighbor came in and asked for coffee.

       "I thought that you would be sampling your muffins and cookies which I used to buy when you delivered them to other delis - before you opened this. It looks nice. Congratulations."

      "If you already know our products - why do you need a sample?" I wanted to know.

      "I will be back tomorrow morning for your muffins - today I only need coffee."

      I poured him a paper cup of freshly brewed coffee.

      "The coffee tastes good," said the first customer as he sipped his coffee, "I will be back tomorrow."

      He didn't come back for a few days, though. Jack and I taped his dollar on the wall of our deli's kitchen. During the course of that first day - everything went well but at the end of that day - both Jack and I were utterly exhausted. It was already late evening when we finally got to relax and watch some late news on Chicago's popular TV channel where Jack worked as a cameraman. He had a day off for the opening of our business; he looked forward to going to his regular job - the next day. We were almost falling asleep as we sat on the light colored, big sofa in the spacious living room of our newly rehabbed - townhouse in a good part of Chicago - Rogers Park. We were full of dreams for our future.

     After six years of running our business - which were fun - for the most part - we decided to close our deli/bakery and sell the equipment. Jack and I were at the crossroads. We would go our separate ways after twenty years of - mostly happy - relationship. I felt bad at first - until I discovered that a lot of other couples were going through similar transitions. After Jack and I separated - he left Chicago which he wanted to do - anyway - following his working at the news department.

     I started my "new life" as a divorcee and while some situation were hard for me to go through - at first - as the time went on - I found a lot of advantages to being newly single and an unattached woman - again - after having to okay most of my decisions with Jack - my ex-long term - partner. Every major passage has a lot of new advantages. 

                     *     *    *             

     Every year around Thanksgiving I find some new, minor reasons to give thanks - in addition to the major ones - of course. For an example - at least - several mornings per week - I like to work on my computer projects in a nice Squirrel Hill library which is still - not crowded with an avalanche of homeless "elements" - the way they do it in other, more Socialist leaning states. However - I noticed that during the last few weeks - some young volunteers were bringing a group of mentally "challenged" to the max - young adults. One of the volunteers - a Leftist was almost extolling the virtues of a new U.S. Congressional Leftist - Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. God bless those mentally challenged folks for not "buying" his Leftist propaganda.

      The only small problem was that those folks are loud and distracting so I discreetly - changed my locations as to not hear their noisy "proclamations". As soon as I strategically altered my position - they stopped coming to the library - which is even better - for the moment - anyway. I am sure that they will be back. However - I don't have to listen to their "noisy speeches" which don't interest me. That's not something that pays my salary.

                

                                    *      *      *

     

      When I think of past Thanksgivings - one of them stands out when Jack and I were still running our deli/bakery before we closed it. It was our last Thanksgiving before closing our deli. Nothing especially extra ordinary happened that year - except Jack and I got a lot of orders for our pumpkin pies. We were using fresh pumpkins which we cooked down so our pumpkin pie filing tasted good - in addition the crust was made with freshly ground flour which we ground weekly using our big Swiss commercial grinder - "Samaap" which didn't overheat the flour. Our pies tasted utterly heavenly. The consistence, the looks, the flavor of our products was super good since the flour which is ground weekly and kept in a cool place makes the bakeries - stand out among the competition.

         A lot of our customers asked which is the day of the week when we grind our weekly flour supply so they made time to come in on the day. We tried to do it Fridays. The smell of the flour ground on the premises was similar to the scent of freshly baked bread or cookies - but much better. It's hard to describe - like the smell of love, home, safety, happy childhood memories and good life which promises to get better as the times goes on.

      The New Year's Eve is another important winter holiday which has always been one of my most favorite ones. It's always a promise of new things to come. Some of the nicest ones I can vividly remember were the ones in the dance studios. People couldn't get too drunk since they needed to dance and - in general - nobody drank too much since the drive home was "generously" laced with the police checking the roads.

     One of my most memorable New Year's Eve celebrations was the one after which - on the very next day - January 1st - Jack and I left the Midwest - Columbus, Ohio's Ohio State University area where we stayed temporarily after we came back from Jack's last U.S. Army assignment in West Germany. We were heading towards California's - San Francisco State University - to study. Jack could pick any U.S.  state's residency upon completing his U.S. Army duty while I was prepared to work some "moron" job in California for a year - in order to establish my California residency. I became a U.S. citizen after being married three years to Jack.

       Our California journey started out "normally" - the weather was wintery but not messy so we decided on the summer, northern route - however - the next morning - a big snow storm began to cover the earth with huge, blinding snow flakes - as we watched the weather forecast on TV in the motel room - the next morning.

     "We can't be sitting here and waiting for the weather to change," said Jack. "As soon as this storm quiets down a bit - we will 'drop' south and take the winter route - through the Southern states."

      As soon as the snowing let up a bit - Jack and I quickly paced our van and started driving fast south - from Kentucky to Tennessee - we "lost" the snow just as we entered Tennessee where the snow changed to rain. The temperature rose and the rain felt much better than the wild snow storm even after it weakened considerably as we were driving south - away from it.

       I was looking around while we drove through the Southern states where people spoke with the southern accent and they seemed different from the people living in the Midwest of the U.S. which was somewhat familiar to me. Jack told me several times that after he got familiar with Reno, Nevada - he grew to like the West of the U.S. and wanted to live in the West.

      "How did you find yourself in Reno, Nevada after living in Columbus, Ohio as a child?"

      "As I told you before - my father suddenly got killed in a plane crash as he flew his small plane on business so my mother found herself a young widow - not quite forty years old with three boys to support and raise by herself. I was already almost ready to leave the house."

      "I think I can guess why she sold her house in Columbus and uprooted everybody when she moved you - guys - to Reno, Nevada."

      "Yes - she met this guy - a young widower - who proposed a marriage to her so she quickly 'relocated' everybody to get out of Columbus which suddenly became an unfriendly place. Most of her ex-friends - especially - the ladies - didn't want to associate with her after her husband was killed in a plane crash."

     "Her new husband had two kids so we became a 'blended' family. It was tough for a while. Long story - short - I was glad to get the hell out - right when I was drafted to the army". Jack and I met and married right after he finished his two years in the U.S. army.

                                    *    *   *        

      That was an unforgettable journey towards San Francisco State University. We stopped in Reno, Nevada for a few days to visit with Jack's old friend - "Lucky". He was a dentist who also moved to Reno from Columbus, Ohio. He saved up some money to buy into the dental practice with two other specialized dentists who complemented his general dentistry skills. He told us that he loves Reno and Nevada, but he hates California where the Californians - "the prunies" - managed to run that state to the "ground" since their brains were all dried like the prunes - by the excessive sun and crazy, Leftist ideas in their heads. Lucky told Jack that once he and I finish our studies - we should come to Reno to live. Jack said to me later that he would love to live in Reno but it was a small town and a few people were in Lucky's situation.

                         

                  *      *      *

        We were impressed with the beautiful looks of San Francisco for a while but at the end of our two years there - upon both of us receiving our university degrees - we couldn't wait to get the hell out of there. We discovered all the shortcomings of that good looking city.          It was ironic that Jack and I were leaving California in January - the same month we were happy to get there four years prior to our happy arrival there while the Midwestern snow storm chased us. We were happy to head back towards Midwest - Chicago - also in January (freaky hot in California that year). 

       Jack got a job as a television news photographer for a big Chicago television station - so we were happy to "unload" California. While it was "freaky" warm in California - when were leaving and happy about it - the weather people predicted snow and low temps waiting for us in Chicago. Jack and I didn't care. We missed winter after being tired of minimal change of seasons in northern California which felt "freaky" to both us - having grown up with a lovely, pronounced change of seasons.

       Upon our entering Chicago - the fat flakes of snow - each one shaped differently - swished in the air without accumulating while the famous Chicago wind didn't blow hard - the way we expected. The snow landed gently on the sidewalks only to form the effervescent shine - similar to tiny diamonds sprinkled on the ground. 

                  *     *     *

        Jack and I lived many years in Chicago and loved the city - especially me. Jack always told me that he would - eventually - liked to leave Chicago but while we were there - things were good for us in every way. The summers were lovely by the bluish/green Lake Michigan - shiny on the summer days - like precious stones. The nicest events in Chicago always took place over the winter holidays during which this - once rich - city - not only put on tons of season's appropriate - free concerts - but also many promotional "freebies" were given away. The Christmas lights around Michigan Avenue by the Watertower place - the heart of the city - still look spectacular every winter. 

         Currently - however - even the rich city like Chicago is almost teetering on the verge of insolvency since it's Democratic dominated city government - takes away well deserved resources - in many well documented cases - from the Americans (born here and naturalized) - who paid their taxes all their lives. They (the corrupt Dems) - attempt to "distribute" those resources to tons of illegals who descend upon the city (the corrupt Dems enable them to vote for them - illegally) with the typical for Socialism - results - that nobody gets enough - but the taxes rise. Somebody has to pay - and it will not be the - mostly - crooked - politicians. Tons of people leave Chicago and Illinois every year. When there will be not enough people left to pay the taxes - things might turn - ugly. However - I have faith in the U.S. Constitution - after all - the U.S. is the oldest republic and this is not the first crisis - the country faced and solved. The Divine Providence also needs to be considered and it is - always - on the side of the brave. It was a good time for me to get the hell out of Chicago - right in time - while the "going was good".

                               

                 

               *      *     *

       I remember one Christmas season in Chicago during which Jack and I still ran our nicely remodeled deli/bakery. The customers/neighbors were showing their good mood - due to the coming winter holidays. An ordinary looking, middle aged guy came into our business and asked Jack if he noticed the nearby businesses' windows displaying beautifully painted - holiday scenes to which Jack replied that he noticed. The guy said that he will paint the winter holiday scene on our front window - a slightly different one than other front windows he painted - for a fee which sounded reasonable. Jack asked if the painting will be easy to remove - after the holidays - to which the "artist" replied that "just warm water and mild soap will easily erase his 'winter masterpiece'". Well - lo and behold - when Jack and I tried to remove the winter scene with a fat Santa Claus from our store window - it turned out extremely difficult. We had to rent special equipment and purchase special solvents - to get the hell - rid of that winter scene on our business's - front window. We never saw that "painter" - again; he knew better than to show his face in our neighborhood - ever again. During the following winter holidays - we purchased some decorations which lasted until the winter after that one.

       

                 *      *     *

        The demands of running our business put an additional stress on mine and Jack's - long term relationship. There were other problems which "cropped up" - as well. The little but effective - "demons" - work in cahoots and know when to strike or when to keep "undermining". About the same time - I have developed a "crush" - on a good looking youngster - Roberto - who was my Spanish teacher for a while. 

       After my short but effective, six weeks lasting course in conversational Spanish was over - my "friendship" with Roberto continued. That turned out to be another negative factor pushing on my marriage to Jack during that time. Jack who was going through his middle aged crisis - during which he didn't know what he wanted - which also affected our union - on the top of the other stuff - pulling on our relationship at the same, crucial time. Everything happened at as if some forces already decided. Jack and I tried to keep our relationship whole but it kept slipping away as if it had a life of its own.

                   *      *     *

       It was a late summer. The evening felt great as Roberto and I sat on the patio of a beautiful Mexican restaurant in Chicago which has tons of classy Mexican eateries as well as all kinds of international and American ones. Roberto looked attractive as he smiled his youthful grin. He knew that I was "melting" inside when I looked at him but my thoughts about Jack kept me from doing anything stupid.

      I was sipping my strawberry margarita while he drank mineral water since he was driving my Jetta when Jack was out of town on his job assignment. The last thing I needed is to be stopped by Chicago cops.

      "The summer is ending soon," said Roberto.

The music system played a popular at that time, beautiful ballad from the hit movie "The Mambo Kings". Both of us listened to the lyrics for a moment while the male vocalist sang the refrain - "Maria of My Soul".

     "You rarely fall in love - right?"

     "You are in love with me. I knew it. It happened when I first walked into your deli/bakery and bought a couple of your muffins."

     "What do you want from me? You would like to live in my new townhouse for a while until you find something else to do? Don't you have enough young Latin girls looking at you as if the sun revolved around your rear end?"

     "All those young girls - want - is a 'baby's daddy' or something like that - I am not interested in that - for time being - anyway."

     Everything that summer evening seemed magical. I wanted to stop the time which went fast. 

     "It was a great evening. We should do it again soon," Roberto said as he waited for me to hug him - which I sometimes did - but not each time we said "goodbye".

     "Jack's coming home tomorrow. Maybe the three of us can go out to dinner towards the end of the week."

     "Great - let's go to this new place that just opened. They have a good dancing band."

     "No - I will pick the place. Jack doesn't like to dance - you know that."

     "I forgot. Maybe you need to 'trade up' your vehicle for the newer model."

     "Don't make silly jokes about my husband. I am not getting off the Cadillac to ride a Jeep."

         
       The fall which followed that summer was going fast. During the Thanksgiving that year - Jack and I baked our turkey in our big, commercial convection oven which did a superb job. Due to our tight covering the bird - the massive blows of the big, commercial convection oven - baked the turkey - super tender in a shorter time with it being cooked through thoroughly.

      Jack and I hosted several friends for the Thanksgiving that year in our deli/bakery with the front doors closed to the customers. It had a very different, unique atmosphere. I kept thinking about Roberto even though he wasn't invited due to Jack's "suggestion" that we cool it with our three way friendship which raised questions with some nosy gossipers. 

      It turned out to be one of the nicest Thanksgivings which I can remember even if at the end of the night - I missed seeing Roberto who was - probably - having himself a good evening in some other place in Chicago. He was young, handsome and smart - his "currency" was good for a long time.

      By the following Thanksgiving after a difficult in many ways - year - for mine and Jack's relationship - I came to realization that Jack wanted out of our marriage. Both of us tried - but he didn't try nearly as much as I did. Anyway - after I became sure that we will have to go our separate ways - everything became somewhat easier for me.

      Right after Thanksgiving during the same year - Jack decided to spend the winter holidays with his family - so I looked forward to him being gone for a while - so I could "clear my head" and rest from his presence a bit. My nice Chicago townhouse acquired a different feeling - as if preparing for Jack being gone soon.

         Roberto called me a day before Christmas that year. His voice sounded good to me but I didn't let on.

        "Its good to hear your voice again - I missed you,"

        "Not enough excitement in your life? Your youthful 'currency' must not be as effective as usually,"

       "Why do you have to be sarcastic? Don't you believe in true friendship between people?"

       "Not between people like us when our sex energy could be 'cut with the knife'".

       "You are the one bringing up 'sex'."

       "But you're are thinking about it all the time when you're around me."

       "You are an attractive woman. If you were ninety and ugly - I might be mistaking you for 'Mother Theresa' or someone like that. Anyway - maybe the tree of us could go out a day after tomorrow - maybe we could spend the night in this new, nice Latin restaurant?"

        The day after Christmas which I spent watching the holiday specials and thinking happy thoughts about seeing Roberto again - I drove my Jetta into one of the decent Latin neighborhoods in Chicago - where Roberto just rented a small apartment. He was standing in front of his - decent looking - recently restored - small apartment building and he looked gorgeous - as always. The big flakes of snow swished around gently without accumulating. The famous Chicago wind - spared us that night which felt like magic from some fairly tale.

        As soon as he noticed that I was by myself he stuck his head into my car after I stopped in front of him; he kissed me on the cheek - I could smell his favorite Ralph Lauren cologne then he asked me if I wanted to park in the back of the building at his assigned parking spot so I could come in for a moment to see his new apartment. 

       "You look beautiful - as always", he smiled. I was happy inside to hear him say that since he was rarely generous with his complements. He kept talking to me after not seeing me for a year and I wondered what he really felt since a lot of times he kept "a poker face" even if he smiled momentarily. I was wondering what he felt inside. My heart was racing like crazy - but I also kept my feelings from showing.

      After we got to his small but nicely remodeled - second floor unit - I sat on the couch while he was getting me a beer from the small kitchen's - fridge.

      "I am not drinking since I assume - I will be driving your car tonight."

      "You assume correctly," I felt happy in spite of myself - to finally see Roberto and sit at his apartment while the stereo system played a hot Latin salsa "Kali Pachanguero" from the movie popular at that time. I took a small sip of beer which he poured into a tall glass.

       "Let's get going to eat, talk and have a good time."

       Roberto drove my beige colored Jetta through sleepy streets of Chicago. He visibly enjoyed himself while he looked at the beautiful city splendidly decorated for Christmas season in thousands of shiny Italian lights. There was an atmosphere of an enchanted, winter fairy tale. 

       "The city looks great," he said and started laughing his contagious, youthful laugh.

       "Why are you high?"

       "I am next to a beautiful, talented woman - I don't know of any man who wouldn't be high on a night like that - sitting next to you."

       When we got to the new, still trendy - Latin restaurant/nightclub - tons of which opened and closed every year in Chicago - a fiercely competitive restaurant scene - the host gave us a table in the back of the place which was good. I knew that someone who knows Jack - will see me but I didn't care so much at that point of our relationship.

      I ordered a margarita while Roberto ordered his customary mineral water each time he drove my car. The good sounding band started playing the hit ballad of that year - "Maria of My Soul".

      After I took a few sips of my classical lime margarita - the warmth inside me made me smile - not necessarily at Roberto - but the place was nicely decorated for Christmas holidays and the mood was festive, joyous.

      "Let's dance," Roberto touched my arm. "I have always like this perfume you're wearing. What's the name of it?"

       "Christian Dior's - Dolce Vita".

       After we got onto the dance floor - Roberto embraced me and I could touch his muscular arms. Lots of other women on the dance floor that night looked at him with admiration as he expertly lead me in a bolero to show my moves and not his hot dance moves. He knew about the impression he made on attractive women - but he never let it go "to his head" or boasted about it or even talked about it - as if his main driving force was always more important to him than some "temporary currency" of youth.

      I have known him for close to two years but we never touched except for some friendly pecks on the cheeks and quick hugs. The music, my drink, the mood in the beautiful restaurant/nightclub - started to "work on me" in a powerful manner - in spite of my resolve of not doing anything foolish.

     "Would you like to come in tonight after we're done here - so you could have some drinks at my house without worrying about driving?"

     "Of course I would - it sounds great - you are an attractive woman - I don't see anybody better looking in this nightclub. If you think that the time is right - we can do it - but if you think that we should wait - fine with me."

     "So you want Jack 'out of the way'"?

     "It's not about Jack - it's about you."

     "Not about you and me - not about us?'"

     "I don't know and you don't know either  which way our 'friendship' will go. None of us know that at this time if we have any 'us' different than our current 'us' - friends. I guess - the ball is in Jack's court - for now if he even knows what he wants."

     "Are we casual friends or trusted friends?"

     "I have not betrayed your trust in any way. You have high expectations of your friends but you make sure that your position is always secure."

     "You don't have any expectations of this friendship?"

     "Maybe my expectations are much smaller than yours."

       "You don't know my expectations. You always think that you can read me like an open book." 

      It was quite a few hours after midnight when Roberto parked my Jetta in the back of my town house and we stood in front of the gate leading into the court yard. I wanted this night to continue for a few more hours which went by like a blink of an eye.

     "I will call you tomorrow," I said. The night was full of magic - the Christmas lights around the gate looked like a scene from a fairy tale.

     "Sleep good - keep thinking about me," Roberto quickly hugged me and looked into my eyes from up-close. Then he laughed. It was good to hear his happy laugh of undefeated youth. I can hear it - sometimes - even today - after many years have passed. I call that memorable year - a year of Roberto.

                   *     *     *

      The whole year which followed was spent on me and Jack - trying to make our marriage work - but it didn't happen - as if the events "decided" to go "their way" - no matter what Jack and I wanted. At the end of that year - both of us knew for sure that we wanted "to go our separate ways" and he agreed to leave Chicago so I could stay in our remodeled townhouse which appreciated a lot in price. Jack was going to take over our smaller condo out of town - back East - which we bought brand new, but which was currently turned into a "pig sty" by the present tenants who agreed to move out so Jack could move back there and clean it out. 

              

      After Jack left Chicago - he needed to call me about some business. Each time I talked to him - I expected to have some feelings for him - after all - he was a half of my life. However - I was glad he was finally gone.

       I was in the process of selling all our deli/bakery equipment - which meant we would get back barely ten percent of our original investment. One morning an attractive, young ex-customer knocked on my deli/bakery window - so I opened the front door for a minute.

      "I am sad that you are closing your beautiful deli/bakery. I love your products."

      "You should have come to buy our products more often - so I wouldn't have to close."

      "That's true. What are you going to do now? Get a job for someone else?"

      "I will have to. My long time marriage is over. My business is closing. Time to start me a new life for myself."

      "Best of luck to you. It will all work out great for you. Now that your husband is gone - don't forget to call that young, hunk looking Latin guy who used to hang out in here a lot of mornings."

                   *      *     *

       After Jack left Chicago and we started to finalize our divorce proceedings - I began to "try out" Chicago's ballroom dancing studios so I could find the nicest one with the best instructors and the best dancers there. Jack always hated to dance so when he left - I could start dancing in local studios. After "trying" out some Chicago's studios with quite a few of them having more than a normal share of the unpleasant types - usually - older male attendees - I picked one studio which had a lot more nice people than the ones - good to avoid like a plague.

         

                *      *     *

      Upon completion of several pricey private dance lessons with Dominick - a wiry, energetic middle aged Italian - the owner of the studio - I began group lessons which were more fun and less money. Dominic and I still had several weeks left before the studio's quarterly special party in which he and I were to perform a Tango - always my favorite dance ever since I started to have memories. Everybody in my family always loved the Tango - the dance and the music.

                  *      *     *

      Our dance studio's quarterly party that year was close to Christmas holidays - so the studio was decorated in lovely seasonal adornments. When I arrived at that studio that night - my heart was beating fast - Dominick and I needed to go over our Tango before the actual exposition later that evening.

      "You look great. That new black lace Tango dress looks good on you," I knew that Dominick meant what he said. Our studio members started arriving all dressed up. The mood was good and I thought briefly that if Jack and I didn't divorce - which I thought at that time - was comparable to "the end of the world" - I wouldn't have such an opportunity to - finally - dance a semi-professional Tango with a seasoned Tango teacher.

      We picked a lesser known Tango - Juan DeArienza's "El Ultimo Café" - at the beginning of our practice for this performance - however - after I watched the fabulous old musical - "Flying Down to Rio" in which a beautiful Latin star of the thirties - Dolores Del Rio - danced an exquisite Tango with Fred Astaire - we chose a famous Tango from that movie composed by Vincent Youmans - "Orchids in the Moonlight" - which Dominic arranged without any special fancy moves - just like Fred Astaire - when he danced with Dolores Del Rio (it was obvious that she was not a professional dancer) - still - in that movie - the Tango spirit - beautiful, elegant and sensuous - was captured by her dancing and I like to think that I can express that spirit of Tango - as well. Of course - Dominick lead all my moves very confidently and if I made a minor mistake - he knew how to easily - camouflage it. I wished that the night didn't end so fast but the four hours seemed to zoom by fast - as if it was only a half an hour.

                   *      *     *

       When my oldest sister - Tina - came to visit me later that year - from Israel - where she and her family lived their "dolce vita" - she remarked that my divorce from Jack was "the best thing that happened to me".

      "Now you can come to live in Israel. That's your country - and you know it," she said as we talked for hours - no end.

      "I love the U.S. and I can't make any big moves right now - anyway - not until I get a chunk of Jack's pension."

      "It makes a lot of sense but now - at least - you have a purpose and a goal. Tell me - what happened to you and Jack?"

      "Who knows why these things happen?  Maybe that's for the best - as you said before."

      "Jack and I tried to make it work - especially me - but there was no way - at least - our marriage was good for many years - then 'the little demons' got an upper hand".

      "Still - you had good twenty years together but now there is no use of 'crying over spilled milk'".

      "I know it - it's not easy - but I know how to shut the doors on the past and start pounding onto the new 'doors' of my life." 

     "There are always good things when you open your 'new doors' - right?"

     "Good and bad - but I like to emphasize the good stuff and focus on it." 

     "Sometimes that's really hard."

     "Most of the time - it's difficult - since it's much easier to complain all the time about everything."

     "Bitching and complaining should be kept to a minimum - only when it's really justified - since it's much easier to criticize than to do something productive - however - (not to change the subject) - as much as I like Tango movies - the one from 2004 by Robert Duvall - doesn't make much sense to me - since the film can't decide if it wants to be a thriller or a Tango dance story."

     "I loved the Argentinian/American co-production of a Tango story - 'Tango Bar' - I think that I have seen it - at least - six times. I could see it again. Everything clicked in that movie. The two hours flowed like fifteen minutes."

      Tina and I talked for hours every night about all sorts of things - no end - during that visit and after she left - I missed her tons - for the first week of her absence - then I adjusted and kept busy with my weekly chores knowing that we shall talk during the coming weekends.

      When we chatted over the weekends - we frequently reminisced about some funny incidents which happened during her last visit.

      "Remember that evening at the Latin restaurant/club in Shady Side?"

      "Sure - it was a beautiful summer night - the band played super and I had quite a few dancers to dance with that night to show off a bit my Latin moves".

      "Remember that silly woman who asked us a lot of questions about Israel - as if she was born 'yesterday' or pretended to be naïve or something stupid like that?"

      "She - especially - 'inquired' - about your younger friend - that good looking dancer."

      "I told her to ask him all those questions - in person - since she persisted a bit. Some people need to be - tactfully - of course - 'set onto the right tract' - not that they like it or anything like that."

                   *      *     *

      For the next several years - as I continued to work some jobs which paid my bills - those weekend talks with Tina - helped me a lot - to stay focused. I noticed - however - that she rarely offered to help me out financially - in terms of a loan of some kind even though - she knew that I would have always paid her back.

      She had tons of money at that time while I was struggling financially - I was sure that if the situation was reversed - I would help her out with a loan or two for which I would have her sign some "I owe you" papers - of course.

      Thank God - when she came to visit me for the third time - I had a decent job, lived in a nice apartment in Chicago and things were much better for me - in every way. I always wonder how much of my improved situation was my own perseverance and what part of it - was a hidden "script" for my life. I question why certain things happened as if they would happen - no matter what I would decide at that time.

                 *      *     *

       It was a nice summer afternoon at the nice, big beach in Chicago which has a lot of streets leading to the lovely beach fronts. Rogers Park has a huge beach front area in which my best friend at that time - Alice - and I would meet almost every afternoon - as soon as she got off her job as an instructor in one of the best medical schools in Chicago area.

      She has completed a part of her medical studies in Poland where everybody called her Alusia. While living permanently in Chicago - she opted for teaching in the city's prestigious medical school. For many summers - she and I enjoyed many afternoons at Chicago's lovely, huge Roger's Park's - beach front park.

     She - usually - read non-medical novels while I looked through local magazines. One afternoon - I noticed a story in a local Russian weekly on how to get "rid" of bad luck. It's not that I considered myself plagued by bad luck or anything like that - but that summer I was looking for work and couldn't find anything suitable.

     The short article written by an unknown journalist quoted an old, folk remedy to remove "bad luck" which called for leaving a freshly broken egg in a disposable container - for over  night - preferable at the last day of the month - so the following morning the broken egg needs to be discarded - a distance away from the house.

     "I have an important job interview tomorrow and it will be the first of June - so I will leave the freshly broken, raw egg till tomorrow morning - then I should get this job," I said and laughed.

     "Do you believe in those things?" Alice looked at me.

     "I have been trying to get a job - most of this spring and part of this summer - why not try this 'egg' incantation? If you didn't notice - I am not a 'brilliant genius' like you - teaching at Chicago's prestigious medical school".

     "Why didn't you take that job they offered you in the mail order frozen food company?"

     "I can't be in the freezer several hours a day. You advised me against it - as a doctor - remember?"

     "I will see you here in the afternoon tomorrow with a - hopefully - good news front my 'job battle front'".

     The following morning - after I discarded - away from my apartment - the broken egg in the paper cup - which sat on the window sill - all night - I went to the job interview with confidence - even though I knew that the company narrowed their choice of the candidates. I was in the group of their top three applicants - which might be better suited for the job - than me. Broken egg ritual or not - I was nervous before the interview. I expected those other two candidates to have more qualifications for this opening - than I had. During the interview the middle aged guy asked me a lot of questions then said that they will notify me - one way or another - before long. I was expecting a phone call in a few days - however - on my way to meet Alice at the beach that afternoon - the interviewer called me - to congratulate me. I was to show up for work the next morning. It was a good news since my checking account was getting depleted fast after I paid my last month rent.

        Alice was laughing upon hearing my good news then she added in a joking tone:

       "Don't forget to do this 'egg' thing every month on the last day of the month."

        I didn't know if she was joking or meant it - however - I kept repeating that "broken egg" ritual and things got much better for me in every way. It could be a coincidence but I knew that there is something magical to breaking an egg - as far as good magic is concerned. In fact one of my most favorite movies "Peggy Sue Got Married" - explores that phenomenon. 

        At the very beginning of one month - several years later - when I forgot to do it - several days following the first of the month - that month without my "egg ritual" - I had an unpleasant - downright - dangerous incident with a Polish thug in Chicago which is full of Poles. Most of them are decent people - especially - in view of the fact that they live in the U.S. - and not in their native Poland - however - as always - they have their criminal elements among them as every cluster of people - does.

       I have been living in hilly Pittsburgh for the last several years and rarely miss the "new" Chicago - which during the last few years - got full to the gills - with tons of various foreigners who have nothing special to do. A lot of them vote illegally for Democrats who have super majority in Chicago and caused this beautiful city to deteriorate due to their Socialist leaning - politics.

       Hilly Pittsburgh - so far - not too Democratic/Socialist leaning - especially the mountainous, picturesque - Squirrel Hill - has been a cut above - Skokie - Chicago's - once nice - suburb - which deteriorated - because of the Democratic/Socialist politics of all kinds. In a nutshell - the high taxes - a typical Socialist  burden with which the Democratic Socialists tons of taxpayers - to run - to more Red/Republican states - which - so far - have not been doing that. Thus - the Blue states like Illinois, New York and California - are "bleeding out" the taxpayers - galore - who move to the states in which the taxes are lower. I left the Blue/Democratic dominated - Chicago, Illinois and moved back to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

       So far Pittsburgh is not turning Blue/Democrat - too much. West Pennsylvania - holds its own - thank God. It's nice to be able to get to the stores easily - the way Squirrel Hill - its - she-she-poo-poo nice part - operates. The other day and it was a cold day - I noticed that the familiar, big, black and white male cat who used to tease Squirrel Hill dogs while he was hiding in the bushes of the big house where he rules a big front porch - is missing a back leg. The three legged cat warrior especially despised - the almost fat looking, short haired dog belonging to a similar appearing owner - who never carries a dog poop bag - the way most decent Squirrel Hill neighbors - do.

       I started to call this well known, old black and white cat - "A three legged - old cat - warrior". Ever since he lost his back leg - he started to show his old age in terms of him - slowing down his aggravating activities of the passing by Squirrel Hill dogs. Its a shame  because - the same, short haired, muscular and almost fat dog - needs to be aggravated since he belongs to that Squirrel Hill neighbor who looks like his dog - but he never carries - a bag for his dog's poop - the way other, decent Squirrel Hill neighbors - do. 

       The three legged - black and white cat warrior always hangs around a big porch of a big house - here - in Squirrel Hill. The same big, three story house looks like it's divided into several rental units. They were fixing the roof for a while so I noticed that the my favorite "three legged cat warrior" had an appearance of some neglect. I called the local animal rescue to insure that the dry cat food was delivered and left on the porch for him with short instructions - to feed him. Looks like they delivered a big bucket of dry cat food with a massive lid because - we are not feeding racoons or squirrels and so far - so good - whoever comes onto the porch - feeds the "old cat warrior" and gives him some water as well;  looks like during the cold winter days - they let him come inside.   

                          *     *     *

       Pittsburgh, Pa. is a mixed town in terms of the people who live here - especially - in Squirrel Hill - the hilly, beautiful, trendy, she-she-poo-poo - fashionable part of Pittsburgh. Among many other favorable qualities which contribute to high value of properties around here - I would say - the most attractive factor would be the easy (walking distance) - access to a lot of shops, restaurants and other attractive and useful venues of all sorts.

        Most people who live in Squirrel Hill consider themselves Liberals - a lot of them live in their opulent mini-mansions - and profess to be Liberal - however the openly Socialist/Communist - Bernie Sanders - scares them to death. They are afraid of his - openly - Communist - style - "re-distributing" of the country's wealth - which leads to forced, massive "re-educations" labor camps - resembling the ex-Soviet - Gulag - deathly jails which killed tons of innocent people. 

        Several top people in Bernie Sanders' political headquarters - discuss those Communist "measures" - openly - with joy and glee - according to James O'Keefe - "Project Veritas" - data. China is doing that today with their Yiugurs - minority. Lots of naïve, idealistic Americans - today - are ready to vote for Bernie Sanders - who will lead them to their Socialist Utopia - dreams - via forced labor camps and "special political jails" which he admires - according to his ex-Soviet Union - commentaries. James O'Keefe and his "Project Veritas" - documentaries - constantly rips to shreds Bernie Sanders' - harsh, Communistic political agenda - for the moment - masquerading as "useful, harmless Socialistic, benefiting the working class" - shift of the U.S. - resources. In reality - those kinds of "shifts" - invariably end in forced death camps - to "convince" the reluctant elements of the society. China - today - calls itself - a Socialist country with a total central planning of their economy - as it continues crushing their political opposition - in the most cruel - manner.

                 *      *     *

      Upon my return for the third time - from Chicago to hilly Pittsburgh's - Squirrel Hill - trendy and fun - as always - I knew that after experiencing a "new" Chicago - full of illegals, domestic homeless and other undesirable elements of all kinds - I prefer - Squirrel Hill. My brother Max - an eccentric, semi-retired college professor maintains his mini-castle - in a sufficiently efficient manner - thus my apartment which I rent from him - is in the very heart of Squirrel Hill.

       I have been going to some interesting lectures at the Cultural Center - located close - which attracts some fun people as well as some low class individuals which I - succeed - in politely - avoiding like a plague. There is also a glorious, conservative synagogue near by - which offers tons of interesting events like lectures, authors' presentations, concerts and other interesting things of that nature. I like to participate in many of those gatherings. The people there seem friendly and open minded - for the most part. Again - I avoid some nosy and pushy types without offending them too much but it feels good to speak some truths without fear. Of course - it needs to be done in a smart way - as to not to offend people too much.

      It feels good to be able to express myself in a clever way about this current political situation in which - openly - Socialist/Bernie Sanders - an old Communist/Soviet style - seems to have some momentary - momentum. Some people might listen to some his deceptively convincing arguments of free stuff for everybody - while others are set in their "Communistic" ways until something happens in their lives which drastically changes their respective - deluded - outlooks.

                  *      *     *

       Almost every morning in Pittsburgh's - premiere part - my hilly and picturesque home turf - Squirrel Hill - feels good to me - some days are not as smooth as others - but  the worst of winter is over - for many months. The spring is in the air - I can smell it even on cold days. Some brave crocuses are sticking up their green noses - soon the yellowy forsythias - will bloom all over the place. 

       Even though Pittsburgh's - Squirrel Hill has always been - traditionally - Democratic turf - the latest attempts to "take over" of the Democrats - by their Socialist/Radicals/Leftists' - anti-Semitic - lunatic fringe - has many traditional Democrats - glancing towards Pres. Trump's policies with a hidden and not so hidden - approval. They might not always admit it openly - but when the time comes to vote - it will be a different story - for certain. The "normal" Squirrel Hill Democrats are scared that Bernie Sanders will "requisition" their quaint, nicely designed mini-mansions adorning our hilly, elegant and trendy - Squirrel Hill.

                 *      *     *

      I like to go to some cultural events presented by the near by - Squirrel Hill's - magnificently designed and executed - conservative synagogue. Yesterday - a writer held a book signing event. Her lecture was delivered - interestingly enough - with the help of some visuals. I found it educational even if a bit self-congratulatory, hockey, cheesy and predictable. 

      I find this beautiful synagogue - magic in some way - as soon as I enter its spacious grounds. Their new series of lectures - present the writers talking about their new books. So far - it has been an interesting event even if I noticed the same group of old farts showing up like clockwork for the free bagels with cream cheese - not that they buy any books or anything like that but they like to scan the place for the new ladies showing up. They seem to have a high opinions of themselves - for no special reasons.

      It will be nice to be able to suggest some brilliant conservative authors - for this book lecture series - since this synagogue leans towards political Left a bit. I noticed that their other book club - "A Book of the Month Club" - chose a phony extreme Leftist/Liberal New York style - writer - the kind which doesn't interest me at all.

      This winter 2020 has almost ended and it was a mild one. Spring is in the air even on the occasional cold days. My days go quickly nowadays - especially since I started to follow a weekly schedule and the one for the weekends. Things get simpler for me as I get older. This is a defining year as far as political landscape in the U.S. is concerned. 

      Bernie Sanders - an old Socialist/Communist is now a big political "star" - with his current "front runner" status for the 2020 Presidential race. His Socialist rhetoric sounds phony and threatening to a lot of smart people in the U.S. At least - he has always been sincere and open about his Communistic convictions - to his dubious - credit. The problem is that a lot of - uneducated and uninformed and frequently - violent Americans - currently - follow him as if he was some kind of a Red "Messiah". His true political hack persona - behind his - thin façade doesn't discourage them at all. It's obvious that most decent Americans decided to do "something" about this Red Demagogue - the way they always successfully face all the other, past Socialist, "flash in the pan" style, phony Populists/Socialists.

                                

                     *     *     *

       Sometimes I think of some happy summers in Chicago and only the happy moments stand out since I learned how to chase away the sad parts - so they scatter like persistent little demons upon the vision of the holy cross. They know how to come back when the time is right but they also know that they will be chased away.

       I frequently think about a summer night quite a few years and "experiences" - ago - when - I thought - that the time was right for me to start my new life with a much younger man. During that memorable summer - at the very beginning of it - Jack - my long time husband - permanently left Chicago after we divorced.

      My friendship with Roberto - entered a new phase which I thought would be easy for me. We were going out to some trendy, nicely set up Chicago venues with good food and good Latin bands. That summer was going very fast for me and soon the 4th of July weekend happened. The summer weather during that summer was perfectly perfect as if to compensate for the previous summer which was consistently hot like hell almost every day - well into the fall.

     Roberto and I sipped light wine coolers as we sat on the patio of my Chicago townhouse which Jack and I upgraded and remodeled quite a bit - so I was ready to sell it and make some money later that summer. In the meantime - Roberto and I were going out to some new, trendy Chicago venues. I had vague plans to leave Chicago and move to Pittsburgh where my brother and his family have lived for a long time - in Squirrel Hill - Pittsburgh's premier part - hilly and gorgeous. 

                  

                *     *     *

      Towards the very end of that summer which I call "the summer of Roberto" - both of us sat on the small back patio of my Chicago townhouse which I loved after Jack and I remodeled and upgraded it. We sipped cold wine coolers as we chatted before going out dancing that evening. The new, fancy venue we were going to that night - still had a great Latin band and not diluted Margaritas. Those sorts of fancy places opened and closed on a regular bases in Chicago.

     "Have you had some interested buyers yet?" asked Roberto seemingly not too interested in my response.

     "I will let you know when the time is right," my answer was opaque - as usually - when he inquired about any of my personal business. I couldn't decide what Roberto was to me that summer - either a close friend or just casual companion. My heart decided but I had a lot of doubts. Most of them were put in my mind due to my older brother Max - who constantly advised me as if I asked for his - usually - not solicited opinion re: my private life - that Roberto wanted to put his "paw" on some money I will get from my divorce settlement coming shortly following my just executed divorce from Jack.

      I didn't know exactly why I was totally obsessed with Roberto that summer as if some powerful magician cast a powerful incantation which needed to be lifted in a hurry - the only problem was that the spell felt like a big high. After all - he had little to offer other than his good looks and youthful energy.

     Max kept repeating that summer that I shouldn't make any "stupid moves" like allowing Roberto to move into my fancy-schmantzy Chicago townhouse - or anything silly of that sort.

     "Just treat it as if he is a brief summer 'friendship' which needs to end at the end of the summer. Kind of like - as if you went on the brief vacation but need to come back to your senses when you get back home - to your normal life. You need to be friends with a man your age and you know it."

     "And you think that you know all about those things since you were married - only three times - so far."

     Each time my older brother got on my nerves with his frequent "unsolicited" advice regarding my personal business - I simply hung up the phone on him. He didn't seem to take offense too much since he knew that he shouldn't be sticking his nose into other people's business.

                              

                               *     *     *

        One particular summer evening during that summer - felt extra special, magical and perfect. Roberto and I sat on the small patio of my Chicago townhouse and we could watch the dance movie popular that season - "Dirty Dancing" which played out of the video player located in my living room stereo system. He was glowing with the irresistible, radiant youth energy.

       We were sipping light, red wine cooler and laughing. I wished that this summer night would last forever but it was going fast. Maybe the events of this summer night - have already decided to happen. I knew that I would have to make a big decision to leave Chicago - preferably during that fall - before the - normally - fierce Chicago winter - would follow the autumn.

      "What are you thinking about?"

      "I really like this movie. The music and dancing are great."

      "You are just like her."

      "Thanks a lot. She is not attractive at all."

      "I didn't mean - physically attractive which you know that you are since almost every man you meet - tells you that all the time."

      Roberto was rarely generous with his complements - "back handed", indirect or any other kind.

       "Are you jealous?"

       "You want me to be jealous?", he put his muscular arm around my waist - a small gesture which took my breath away for a moment but I put his arm back. We were "friends" for over a year during which he refrained from touching me - so far. We talked a lot about our respective families and other things which close friends share freely.

       "Whenever you decide for us to be more than just friends - you let me know - since you will know when the time is right. I just want to make you happy - I don't want anything from you - contrary to what your brother tells you all the time."

       "I don't listen to my brother or anybody else - for that matter. Let's go out the way we planned."

        Once we got to the fancy new nightclub/restaurant - the atmosphere there was super fun. The scent of good perfume mingled with the smell of good food. The band started to play my favorite bolero "Besame Mucho" - which I have always loved and Roberto knew about it.

       "Let's dance", he suggested after we ordered our Margheritas. After we stepped onto a crowded dance floor and he embraced me and I thought briefly that it was the best night of my life - so far. I didn't feel that whole and undefeated even with my long time husband Jack whom I thought that I loved a lot - until that moment.

       I knew that the evening will have to end but at least - I could stretch it for some time by having a talk with Roberto after we left the nightclub - the way we - usually - did. 

        My oldest sister Tina - who was - at times - my close confidante - gave me - normally - a good advice regarding Roberto. She would laugh and say something like "have some fun and forget about that kid". My oldest brother - on the other hand - frequently volunteered his "counsel" whether I requested it or not - while he strongly encouraged me to "leave Chicago - to hell with it" and come to beautiful and hilly Pittsburgh to live.

       That memorable summer was the summer of Roberto and it was fun - for sure - but I knew that it needed to end - on my terms. Towards the end of that lovely summer I made a decision to leave Chicago and I knew that it was the right decision. When the fall of that year arrived - I started to get ready to leave Chicago which I considered my home. I loved that city and everything about it while Pittsburgh - at that time - felt only vaguely familiar - since I have visited there just a few times to see my older brother and his family - while Chicago was a part of my spirit for a long time - until - after some years in Pittsburgh - I started to consider hilly, picturesque and pretty - Pittsburgh - my home. 

              

                   *      *      *

         Squirrel Hill - Pittsburgh's trendy and picturesque part of town - as well as the whole city, U.S. and the rest of the world have been going through a hard passage called Coronavirus. Our Pres. Trump has been successfully fighting this unexpected, demonic scourge on many fronts while his biggest enemies - the mainstream media (the servant of the current Democratic/Socialist/Progressive party) - try hard to prevent him from helping  the American people whom he loves. Evidently all the prayers of his vast constituents - successfully put the effective "muzzles" on their collective - hateful and lying - snouts. 

                             

                    *      *      *

                   Chapter 86

        I have always loved to read about the life of Ayn Rand - a prominent American writer whose philosophy, books and movies are based on her own life experiences as she witnessed and barely escaped Russia where the birth of Socialism/Communism decimate tons of innocent people. The main characters in her novels are based on the real people she knew so they are convincing and believable - so are her novels. Ayn Rand's works sparkle with brilliance especially "Fountainhead" her most popular book.

       Her major work's "Fountainhead" - hero - Howard Roark - is an uncompromising,  talented architect who undergoes some big, life events in that story. The whole novel is structured so that Ayn Rand's principles are displayed in a clear and convincing way. She warns people about the dangers of collectivism which leads into Socialism/Communism the social systems which always enslave people and deprive them of their freedom.

      She skillfully describes parts of his childhood using the segments which ring true with the readers. Her novels are long but not tedious at all - they are "page turners". When Roarke was a little boy he observed a huge tree in front of his house - totally uprooted by a sudden, unusually strong storm. His traits of character are familiar to the readers - he is uncompromising, talented, great looking but also kind. He speaks the truth - sometimes without "wrapping it into the phony, diplomatic - wrap". Those kinds of traits earn him a few friends but many enemies. Still - he goes through life - pushing ahead - achieving the status of a prominent architect - not too concerned that a lot of people hate him and want to bring him down.

      Everything changes for him after he falls in love with Dominique - a beautiful architectural critic. She loves him deeply but she resents his strength and resolve to be - uncompromising. He loves her as well so it wounds him profoundly when she marries his - enemy - another prominent architect who achieves his success by using all kinds of despicable means. Roark continues his life - in spite of his pain but now his actions takes a different, unexpected course. From that point - the story is full of surprising "twists and turns" - just like life - itself. Ayn Rand's novels work on many levels for many different people. I - had to re-read them several times - especially this one - "Fountainhead" which I consider her finest work.

      Even though I admire Ayn Rand's works a lot - still - in my opinion - one of the truly greatest writers - with the works loved and embraced by almost all the nations - is an American writer - Pearl Buck. She achieved all the hard earned - accolades during her life - but her personal story is full of pain which she describes in her lesser known but superb novel - "The Time is Noon". Of course - "The Good Earth" is her most famous and unquestionably - well written story with the movie adaptation - just as convincing and riveting.

      One of the moving, memorable scenes from "The Time is Noon" is the one in which the heroine (Pearl Buck - the author - of course - who gave birth to a severely mentally - handicapped - daughter) - takes her mentally deficient child for a walk while he is asleep in his stroller. She prays that he continues napping so the passers by will keep smiling at his physical beauty. The moment he wakes up - everybody can see that his mind's function is severely - deficient. The whole story is full of believably depicted characters undergoing various life's passages full of pain and drama but also replete with numerous joys. At the very end - the main character opens the window at noon while the sun shines the glorious glow of the beginning summer; she smiles with optimism and whispers "The Time is Noon".

       Margaret Mitchell's "Gone With the Wind" also has some memorable scenes which etch themselves permanently in the readers' hearts. The richly detailed scenes depicting the glory of the Old South before the American Civil War of 1861 tore the fabric of the U.S. for a long time - are never boring - on the contrary - this enormously long story - is hard to put down. The author skillfully - draws the reader into the world of "Gone with the Wind" - from the very first paragraph. The main character - Scarlett O'Hara is the fiery, beautiful heroine - not easily forgotten. The movie based on that story - is widely loved by many millions viewers all over the world.

                                        

       It's a glorious spring of 2020 in a beautiful Pittsburgh, Pa - full of hills and mountains - while the U.S. is under a massive Main Stream Media - MSM - Leftist slanted - propaganda campaign against Pres. Trump - which is hurting the imminent recovery of the American economy - big time - while the Main Stream Media - MSM - exaggerates to the hilt - the dangers of Coronavirus 2020 pandemics while it tries to blame Pres. Trump for this 21st Century Plague. 

         They were extra kind to ex-Pres. Obama during his puny pandemics measures of "Swine Flue" in 2009; he always got tons of "attaboys" from the press - each time he farted. They never criticized ex-Pres. Obama who totally ignored the epidemics in 2009 - H1N1 - "Swine Flu" - which killed ten thousand Americans before he even glanced at the situation while he played golf and the Americans were dying - before Obama - finally - started to take some lame action.

        Furthermore - after a massive hurricane Sandy hit the East Coast of the U.S. with a sudden fury in 2013 - ex-Pres. Obama didn't replenish the national stockpile of emergency supplies - which he should have done - according to "U.S.A. Today" - Apr. 05 - 2020 issue. Consequently - because of this massive screw up by Obama - Pres. Trump and his team - had to work extra hard to quickly - bring the national supplies to the national emergency levels when Coronavirus hit the U.S. and the rest of the world in March of 2020. Thank God - there is a "light at the end of the tunnel" regarding severely blunting the blow of this Coronavirus 2020 curse - so that U.S. economy can gradually - re-ignite - enabling the normalcy to start returning. 

        The Democrats want to keep the American economy crippled - so they can blame Pres. Trump on the economic downturn while they attempt to get enacted the Socialistic, power grabbing measures of the Federal government - through the - temporarily - expanded - emergency powers. The Dems/Radicals faction wants to conduct their despicable political propaganda campaign against Pres. Trump during the 2020 presidential election campaign. It's not going to work - you Democratic/Socialist demagogues! The American people are up to your despicable, lying political maneuvers. Your Dem candidate - demented, political hack - Joe Biden will loose to Pres. Trump in a big way!

                   *      *      *

        When I studied a World Literature course at the San Francisco State University - for the Russian/Soviet part - we had to read and analyze the famous work by the Symbolist Russian writer Fyodor Sologub who wrote a widely popular novel - "Petty Demon" around 1925 - the time when the Tsarist Russia's literary trend Symbolism was enormously popular.

        While I was prepared to read something long, descriptive and a bit tedious like the novels by Leo Tolstoy - the minute I finished the first page of that story - I got deeply involved and couldn't put it down.

       The story about a homicidal, sadistic and evil schoolteacher unfolds in a riveting manner in terms of him acting "normal" in a lot of ways. His despicable but common and familiar  - quirks in his behavior leading to him committing a crime - ring true, familiar and even appear funny - at times.

       I am sure that Fyodor Sologub succeeded in presenting evil as common and familiar to most people and sometimes this "petty demon" phenomenon can be funny. Good and Evil is present in every day living of all the people with the Evil - frequently seductive and fun to pursue for a while.

       I heard the wise sage/philosopher speaking about the nature of Good and Evil during a lecture (not in this novel) - "You will break the laws - at times, justify it, get away with it for a while since you are having fun for the moment - then the laws will - invariably - break you - to the same extent."

                *      *     *

       Thank God this idiotic panic whipped up by the Leftist veering, hateful towards Pres. Trump - Main Stream Media - MSM - has to subside their propaganda - in light of the facts - coming out. While the new coronavirus - Covit-19 - new virus caused - epidemics is caused by a highly contagious new virus - all the drummed up, unnecessary, Socialist slanted - "hoopla" - by the MSM - has to yield to facts and tell the U.S people - truth - instead of Leftist political propaganda - for a change.

              

        It's a glorious spring of 2020 - coronavirus stopped the U.S. life and economy while the Leftists/Socialists are trying to transform the U.S. into a Socialist behemoth on the like of Red China. They are not going to succeed and all the new Leftists/Socialists - the new U.S. politicians just elected by "mistake" to the 116th U.S. Congress - will Implode - big time - as the U.S. voters will boot them out of their offices during the next, crucial Elections of 2020.

        Now that I am facing some defining times which are great in many ways - I frequently think of some other defining and important "turns" which determined my future directions.

When my half sister Tina to whom I was always close since she has always been the only sister I have ever known - came to visit me from Israel during the time when my life changed following my divorce from Jack - I know that she gave my life - an important goal and a new direction - at that time.

        Many times that spring - we sat in the big kitchen of Max'es three unit house which he tried to sell so he didn't maintain it past the most necessary maintenance since it was located in not too desirable part of Pittsburgh - thus it started to look - run down. His main, prize three unit where he lived - was located in pricey and desirable - Squirrel Hill - so that impressive, mansion resembling - three unit - he maintained very decently.

       "I can't understand why you can't live in the unit of Max'es - Squirrel Hill old mansion?"

       "You know Max - he is stingy and money greedy. At this time with my part-time job and Jack's monthly support checks - just ending - I can't afford Squirrel Hill."

       The morning was sunny and beautiful - we sat in the kitchen - drank fresh coffee and chatted as we munched on strawberries with light whipped cream. She was showing me beautiful photos of her immediate Israeli family. They all seemed successful, attractive "beautiful people". She - herself - looked a lot younger than her biological age. It must have kept her young being a youthful "matriarch" to her family.

       "Why don't you come to Israel to live?"

       "You must be kidding. What am I going to do there. I am in my forties without any special skills - don't know Hebrew - don't have any special connections."

       "Okay - it's a little late for you to start a new life in a new country."

       "I need to get me a full time job for several years - save some money - get me a pension - then we will talk."

        "I believe in you - I always did - you will do it. You will succeed - it's written all over you."

         Evidently Tina and other people see my impressive destiny in me - while I can only perceive a cloudy image - which comes to focus a bit - each day of my life - from that moment on. From that memorable spring when Tina visited - I had goals which gave my life a direction and determination.

                   *     *     *

         The next time Tina visited me from Israel - ten years later - my situation was much better. I lived in a nice apartment in Chicago where I moved back from Pittsburgh where I couldn't find a decent job. Chicago was a lot better for me - in addition - I have always had some close friends there since Jack and I lived there quite a few years - before I moved to Pittsburgh after he and I divorced.

         During her second visit I didn't feel like a Cinderella anymore. She loved Chicago - of course - but I noticed that she tried to impress me by talking a lot about all the aspects of her "dolce vita" in Israel. My Chicago friends tried to "convince" my sister that our lives in Chicago at that time - were just as good - which wasn't hard at all. 

         When Tina was leaving at the end of her three weeks as I was saying "goodbye" to her at the O'Hair airport - I knew that I was going to miss her - later on - but at the moment - I was looking forward to my "normal" days and weekends with my Chicago friends.

       "As much as I love Tina - she started to get on my nerves - big time - towards the end of her visit - as if she was competing with me," I was telling Millie (Milochka) while we sat on a bench of the glorious mall/park - Old Orchard in Chicago's - Skokie suburb - a week after Tina left. Millie and I met - at least - twice per week that summer - in Skokie's - Old Orchard Mall - a gorgeous, lush park resembling - strip mall with many trendy coffee shops and restaurants to enhance their fancy, fun - department stores. Every summer it was massively "infested" with tons of kids out of school and out of control a lot - with all that mess - quieting down in the fall.

                           

                   *      *      *

         Barb and I had a tradition for quite a few years - to go out to dinner during the two big Jewish holidays - Passover - in the spring - and Jewish New Year - in the fall. We - usually - ordered the same food staples we knew from our childhood - which we ate during the two major Jewish holidays - matzo ball soup, gefilte fish - (sweet style) - baked chicken or brisket (not too often). For desert we would have coconut macaroon cookies.

        In addition to taking a lot of food home with us in "doggie bags" which was fun - we reminisced about our childhood in Poland - then we fast forwarded our memories to our beginnings in the U.S. - after that we - usually - talked about our past friendship with Milochka which put her in somewhat unknown - zone - as far as Barb and I were concerned.

                  *      *     * 

       Lately - I have been thinking how beautiful Skokie's open mall/park looks as the seasons change since the decorators do outstanding job. My most favorite season at Old Orchard has always been the fall since all the noisy kids go back to school and the mall's flower beds and alleys start acquiring the pre-Christmas mood.

       The fall is still warm enough for me to have my morning late with a super good muffin as I sit and watch the early visitors from my table - in the open terrace of the sumptuous coffee shop located in the luxurious Nordstrom store - the South anchor store of Old Orchard mall.

                             

                    *      *      *

        Barb and I frequently went out to dinner and had tons of fun. Many Evanston restaurants offer friendly ambiance and good food. We - especially like several Chinese restaurants which had a lot of Oriental looking clients which meant - the food was good and reliable. It was fun for the two of us - exchange various comments in Polish or Russian - thus we knew that nobody in our close vicinity would understand - whereas other parts of Chicagoland had a lot of Poles and Russians everywhere - so we couldn't risk it.  

                            Chapter 89    

        

        The years went by fast during my second stay in Chicago area - then due to my new neighbor who just moved into my high-rise close to Lake Michigan - two doors down from me - turning out to be psychotic - I decided to go back to Pittsburgh. I feel as if I have two homes - close to my heart - one is Chicago's lovely suburb - Skokie and another has always been - Pittsburgh's - Squirrel Hill - a beautiful, hilly, picturesque - she-she-poo-poo - fashionable, trendy part of Pittsburgh.  

        My Skokie friend - Barb and I have been close for many years - even if - at times - separated by distance. I like to think about a lot of good times she and I had together even though we had to cross some tough - for our friendship - passages in our long time friendship.

        I remember how several years ago - she and I celebrated the Christmas together by going out to see a new movie - just like a lot of Jews celebrate Christmas. The movie which came out that Christmas was a musical based on the famous Fellini's movie - "8 and a Half". Both of us enjoyed that film in spite of the "uniform" dissing it by the various critics after it opened that season. 

       It was a great Christmas night with the specific, festive, winter holiday mood in the air - so after we left the Old Orchard mall movie theater - our good mood continued. The light snow accumulated on the beautiful walkways and shone like tiny precious stones. We talked about the movie as we waited for our decent but - way - overpriced - sandwich in a famous Old Orchard deli which has - subsequently - closed recently so the new one, a much better one - could replace it in a short time.

                  *       *      *

      I like the short spring time in hilly Pittsburgh during the times when winter goes away for a year - even though I like the winter time with the snow glistening on the hills and the winter holidays feeling - in the air - for a long three or four months. During the first warm day of spring it's a good feeling to - finally - open the windows and sleep the first night with the windows slightly open. The fresh, mountain air heals all the winter viruses while the strong sunshine - kills even the feared viruses like Covid-19 - until the following winter.

      The long Memorial Day weekend has always been one of my most favorite holidays. The weather - is usually - good. The outdoor cooking tastes and smells - heavenly and the long, luscious summer ahead - promises to be great. Every new summer is like a miniature life - according to the lyrics of some lovely song I heard during the many nice summers I spent in Skokie - a lovely northern suburb of Chicago.

       I vividly remember one long Memorial Day weekend in Chicago's - Skokie a few years ago - during which I took the Skokie's - Yellow train to downtown Chicago which had a glorious parade. The weather was lovely while I watched various types of people who - at that time - lived in Chicago area. 

       However - regretfully - since then - the city "acquired" a lot of various sorts of folks who - can't find anything special to do in this - once glorious - city - other than vote for Democrats to further consolidate their political power. Thus the taxes go up like crazy and the crime does - as well - not that the city was ever low in crime. The local Democrats - widely - use those shiftless people - to vote for them while the "normal" people - massively leave the city just like I did. I got the hell out of Chicago which I don't miss. The beautiful Skokie - however - which is still semi-normal - I really long to visit. 

                                

                                *        *        *

           I vividly remember one Memorial Day Weekend in Skokie - a lovely Northern suburb of Chicago. Barb and I met in the early afternoon on a perfect summer Saturday - in the beautiful Old Orchard Mall which held a summer fest. The sounds of "The Autumn Leaves" sounded from a musical stage where the middle aged, black vocalist carried that tune with ease. Barb and I sipped our beer from the clear, plastic cups. Both of us laughed as we talked about the coming week and the summer which just started with a promise to be - beautiful and fun.

                                *      *       * 

        It was a very good, typical Chicago summer that year. Lake Michigan - shone like a precious emeralds - on beeches at the end of most major Chicago streets. When I was taking my mornings walks along the big and gorgeous - Rogers Park beach front at the end of Brynn Mawr major street/artery - I listened to Chicago radio talk shows as Barb and I planned the rest of the fun summer day - in Skokie where she lived for many years.

                                       

                                *        *       *

        It was almost at the end of that super nice summer - the three of us - Milochka, Barb and I planned to go to the Polish summer fest at the Copernicus Center which hosts a lot of Polish cultural/recreational events in Chicago. It promised to be a lovely afternoon since the weather was beautiful for the outdoors sound stages. All of us loved traditional Polish food - "pierogis" - once per year as we listened to some nice old Polish hit songs - which reminded us of a lot of happy moments from our respective childhoods - in Poland - while our other - not so good - experiences with some Polish anti-Semites - largely faded from our Polish memories. When we talked about Poland - that spirit of "love for our counry" - was totally missing since we were glad to live in the U.S. Most Chicago Poles - however - always dream of returning to Poland - in some way - so they almost always speak fondly about Poland.

       During that Polish fest at the end of that lovely summer - Barb and I spoke Polish with the acute awareness that the Poles surrounding us could understand us while in other places in Chicago where there were much less Poles - we had tons of fun - speaking Polish knowing that almost nobody could understand us.

                               *         *        *

        When my family and I first arrived from Poland in the U.S. - in the late nineteen sixties - during the glorious spring - in Columbus, Ohio - the U.S. economy boomed. My parents - the middle aged professional people with many job skills - had some problems - at the beginning - in getting jobs which they wanted - but those initial hard times didn't last long.

          After my last year in high school - I started my freshman year at huge university - Ohio State where I met my future husband - Jack Osborne who came to visit his friends there while he was stationed in Washington D.C. at the very end of his U.S. Army duty. Following our short courtship - Jack and I got married and moved to San Francisco where both of us completed our respective college degrees - his in television production - and mine - in journalism. We were happy to get the hell out of California - to come back to Midwest - since Jack got a job for Chicago's - premier - television station.

         Jack and I grew to strongly dislike San Francisco and Bay Area after living there for two year so when Jack got the job offer in Chicago - we were happy to leave San Francisco since we missed the "normalcy" of the Midwest. Northern California felt "plastic" and "phony" to us just like Los Angeles and Southern California when we visited the friends - there.

          Long story short - we - both - loved Chicago and everything about it for a long time - until the conditions changed and both of us - decided to leave - but not after we lived our respective happy lives there - for close to - twenty years. Then there was a time - for both of us - to start our new, happy lives - somewhere else - after we divorced and began our separate destinies.

                          *          *          *

          I liked hilly, picturesque Pittsburgh - at first - where I moved upon leaving Chicago following my divorce from Jack - but after a few years there - I started to miss Chicago. When I first relocated to trendy, she-she-poo-poo - Squirrel Hill - I felt lucky to have rented the smallest apartment from - Max - my older brother who owns some rental units - always occupied since Squirrel Hill is a desirable area. As the time went on - Squirrel Hill and Max - started to "get on my nerves" quite a bit and I began to miss Chicago with its international splendor. After I moved back to "my" Chicago - that time - I was glad to be back for a long time - but  those big moves are draining. Lately - I have lived in beautiful - Squirrel Hill for quite a while - still - I never know when Chicago will be "calling" me back even if this time around - I will make sure that I really want to go back.

                          *      *     *                

          I have been in Pittsburgh's glorious Squirrel Hill - on and off - for quite a while - thus I can easily gauge the general mood of this lovely part of Pittsburgh - however - this year's - coronavirus epidemics followed by an ugly "burst" of the American Socialists/Leftists' - failed attempts - to start their "transformation" of the U.S. into an ugly Socialist behemoth on the order of China - are being effectively met with a wide resistance of most decent American people who hate Socialism/Totalitarianism.

          Even though most of the people who live permanently in Squirrel Hill - (not the transient elements which come and go on the regular bases)  - definitely don't support any radical, Leftist/Socialist/Marxist "transformations" of the U.S. started by an ex-president Obama - still - a few of the local "she-she-poo-poo" - trendy businesses - have placed the Black Lives Matter - Marxist oriented - emblems - in their windows - which will be taken down very soon - for certain - since their clients don't support any openly - Marxist - crazy organization like Black Lives Matters or any other ones of that dubious kind. Lately - however - the American Leftists - let their "masks" drop - still - they "dress up" their Radical/Socialist/Communist ideology in false narratives - like anti-racism and other phony issues of that sort. However - each time the light of truth shines on them - they scatter like cockroaches. 

                           *       *      *

         Every summer I know that my deceased mother's birthday will be a good day. Even though I don't believe in getting too involved in those kinds of things - there has to be some connection with the loved ones who "pass on". I have always liked the summers even though some people simply love them. As far as I am concerned - the end of each summer begins the fall which has always been my most favorite season.

         This summer 2020 has been turbulent in some big U.S. cities - including my ex-turf - Chicago - with the phony protesters/anarchists aiming to destroy the U.S. - who love to riot and cause all kinds of disgusting chaos which - at the moment - goes with the Democrat political agenda's despicable goal of unseating Pres. Trump at the cost of harming the U.S. The American people will not forget that when Pres. Trump wins a big victory in 2020 Presidential elections. 

                               *       *       *

        One of the most memorable summers when I was growing up in Poland was the one in a lovely mountain resort where my best friend Lizotchka and I kept checking out the park to see who was new - when they showed up later that evening in the big park full of lush flower beds - nestled in the mountains. Every night we dressed up and went to the park for a few hours but we always waited for the Saturdays in the park when the live band played and the adults danced beautifully on the wooden dancing platform.

        "Max is coming this afternoon to be with us for the rest of the summer," - I said to Lizotchka who didn't react too much while I was not too happy that my older brother interrupted his stay at the camp - to come to join me and mother. My older brother frequently bossed me around. My brief bad feeling was quickly improved by the voice of the popular lady "crooner" of the day coming out of the nice, clean villa with the white and pink rose bushes in front of it - which we passed on the way to the woods. She was singing a beautiful tango from the popular - that summer - Polish movie - "The Farewells". He voice was strong but it had a warm, inviting quality.

       

        "Remember that golden fall,

          "Hotel 'Roses' - room number eight,

          "You kissed me impatiently on the stairs,

          "Later - your kisses and caresses outnumbered,

          "Thousands of fall leaves blowing in the air outside the window, 

          "Then you left suddenly,

          "I knew I had to cross the threshold bravely and shut the doors."

     

          "She is singing about the fall but we still have a lot of summer left," said Lizotchka with her dimply, "trademark" smile while her brown eyes and slightly upturned nose made her look like a little movie star. I always adored Lizotchka even if - at times - I was jealous of her looks when we were kids. As we grew older - the balance changed between us - as I became more confided and focused. That Saturday night was special in a lot of ways. I can still smell the sweet honeysuckle mingling with the scent of my mother's perfumes. Each time I smell that perfume - I can feel almost totally transformed into the middle of that July summer night.

                            *       *      *

           When both our families arrived in the park full of beautiful flowers - smelling of sweet honeysuckle - all of us were dressed up to "the gills" except my older brother - Max - who was a college student. Lizotchka and I wore fancy, frilly summer dresses; our hair was braided neatly into two braids ending with the silky bows which matched our dresses - in color.

            Everybody was happy that summer for different reasons. I was happy that our rental, clean bungalow with pink roses in front of it - was a few houses away from Lizotchka's which had white rose bushes in front of her summer rental.

           "Let's avoid Max - he will notice that we didn't drink that magic spring water which smells of Sulphur", I knew my older brother's idiotic side which - frequently - got on my nerves a lot.

            "Okay - let's go look for some new people," answered Lizotchka. Both of us noticed right away two new guys standing in front of the drinking fountain - spraying some "magical" spring water which we hated since it had a strong Sulphur smell. The guys were dressed in the kind of clothes we liked - they seemed sharp youngsters - nice looking - confident and the carried an exaggerated talk - designed to attract attention. They made sure their Warsaw accent stood out since the vacationers from Warsaw were considered - "top of the heap".

             Lizotchka and I lived in a big enough Polish city in the Southwest Poland - which was also considered a big center - so we could stand our ground.

             "Go talk to them," Lizotchka always counted on me to "break the ice."

             "My mother and dad will be dancing solo at the platform," I said to the guys who agreed quickly to head towards the live band currently playing in the middle of a park a "resurrected" hit - "Mack the Knife".

              Mom wore my favorite chiffon dress with the coral and green floral designs. She and my father were good dancers so their Tango always received a lot of applause while the less accomplished dancers took notes of their moves - so they could incorporate them as soon as possible - them into their - respective routines.

                            

                            *        *       *

                                      Chapter 90

                Lizotchka and her family left for the U.S. later that fall and I missed her terribly but we wouldn't see each other again for close to ten years when we re-united as students at huge campus of the Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio - after my family and I moved to the U.S. My first year in the U.S. was memorable in many ways. After we arrived in the early spring which was gorgeous - I quickly enrolled in the last year of high school which was completed at the end of that first summer (hot and bothersome) so the enrollment at the gigantic Ohio State University became possible that fall which felt like a paradise after the steamy summer which I couldn't wait to end since I wasn't used to excessively hot summers in Eastern Europe.

               At the end of that academic year which was hard for me at the enormous O.S.U. campus - I was looking for a roommate for the summer quarter. The phone call from Lizotchka came unexpectedly. She sounded great to me - just like she did when we were kids. It turned out that she was also studying at O.S.U. and and needed a roommate for this coming very soon - summer quarter. 

               I couldn't wait to hug her as I watched her from my O.S.U. apartment's window - as she parked her compact car - in a small parking space in an easy manner. She was tall - her hair was bleached blond which emphasized her summer tan. She looked great. We crossed several important thresholds. Ten years is a long time.  

               After I opened the door to my apartment - she hugged me and I could smell a cologne fashionable that year - "Shalimar". She wore nice Bermuda shorts of blue color and a green summer top. Her figure was muscular and trim.

               "Welcome to the U.S. - Maratchka - I knew that Poland was too small for your talent." 

               "Cut the gas - it's you - who always looks like a movie star ever since you were a little fart."

                "Yeah, but you always walk around like you own the Earth ever since you were a little fart barely visible from the ground." 

                 "Say - how did the Americans change your name? They call you 'Lisa'?      

                 "I am 'Lisa' to all the Americans. And you?"

                 "I have been 'Maggie' ever since I set my foot onto the American soil."                      

                    We sat a long time that memorable afternoon and evening - finally together after all the years we were apart. We reminisced about our childhood - then we compared "notes" on the first hardships after we first arrived in the U.S.

               We decided to keep that O.S.U. University rental apartment for that summer quarter and the remaining year after which both of us graduated from the university and again - our respective - paths - parted again for quite a while. She married her boyfriend - Artie Trotman so they had to quickly - moved to Canada since he didn't want to be drafted to the U.S. army while I and Jack Osborne whom I married shortly after Lizotchka married her Artie - decided to move to San Francisco so both of us could quickly complete our post graduate - degrees - mine in journalism and Jack's - in television production at the San Francisco State University which would be a lot cheaper that Ohio State University. 

                           *       *       *

             As we drove West through many U.S. states - the western states started to look breathtakingly beautiful with all the open spaces and varied plants visible from the major interstate highway. When we got to San Francisco - the weather felt unusually good, warm and slightly windy (that constant subtle wind in San Francisco started to get on our nerves after we started to discover a lot of flaws in this physically beautiful -  city).  At the end of our two years in San Francisco - upon both of us completing our respective graduate degrees - both - Jack and I were happy to be driving back to "our" familiar Midwest - Chicago (where Jack got a job for a big TV station). We loved going back to Midwest, to the change of seasons and to feeling of normalcy since we had enough of plastic and phony - northern California. 

                           *        *       *

           Chicago - the heart of the U.S. - was good to Jack and me for many happy years - but after twenty years there - things started to change. They were small negative "demons" at first which we could dispel - however - the negative circumstances started to accumulate like the light snow which gradually changes to a big snow storm.

           We opened a deli/bakery in a fashionable, upcoming Chicago neighborhood. Our new business was taking a lot of our efforts, time and money - the investments which were difficult. At first - I dreamt big but things started to stall. If I could see the future few years - maybe I would not commit so hard to that business - but perhaps I would make the same choices. 

          When I look back at those several years during which Jack and I ran our business - I don't regret my choices since it's hard to tell about the outcomes if I didn't make them. It was a lot of fun to open my deli early in the morning - to get it ready for the customers to come. The products Jack and I developed were not only tasty but they also looked stunning due to our grinding of our own flour - which we subsequently - refrigerated. The big Samaap Swiss grinder designed well with the stone blades which didn't overheat the flour - was a big star of our deli/bakery. We called it a Big Daddy since the heavenly smell of the freshly ground, whole wheat flour permeated our deli twice a week when we did it. We loved it when the customers commented on that scent as soon as they entered our deli/bakery. It smelled like freshly baked bread but much better.

After we closed our business and sold the equipment - I missed that smell for a long time. Things happen to a relationship for various reasons. Jack wanted out of our marriage. It was hard for me - at first - but as the time went by - I realized that the passage of this kind - made me better, stronger and more able to experience all kinds of interesting things.

                           *       *      *

         A year after Jack and I divorced - my oldest sister Tina - came to visit me again from Israel. When I met her at the airport - she looked like a movie star - dressed in the latest European fashion - she walked like a queen.

        "How come you come from war torn Israel looking like a princess while I am struggling - living in the richest country in the world?" I greeted her as we hugged.

         "It won't take you long to catch up to me," she said and I could smell her fabulous perfume "Dolce Vita" by Dior.

         "I love this perfume you are wearing,"

         "I will give you a bottle." 

         The three weeks of Tina's stay kept zooming by fast. Every morning during that lovely May - we chatted endlessly as we drank our freshly brewed coffee with the fruits accompanied by some whipped cream. She was showing me beautiful photos of her daughters in law - handsome sons and cute grandchildren. I was thinking that we had some drastic "reversal of fortune" in our respective lives. Only a few short years before - I lived in a nice townhouse with Jack when she visited. Things were going well in my life - when she visited then. There was a shift for me during her present visit - however - I was determined to "get back on top".

           During the three weeks during which Tina and I explored hilly, picturesque - Pittsburgh - I felt good with her notwithstanding her constant boasting about her glorious, perfect "dolce vita" in Israel. The time was going fast during that beautiful, early spring visit. She invited me to come to Israel to spend some time with her extended and close - Israeli family and she wanted me to be proud of Israel even if I always felt that the U.S. is my real home.

           I promised her that I will visit Israel as soon as I save for the tickets; she should have offered me a low interest loan - since - her financial situation was - way - superior - to mine at that time. In any event - her visit was good for me - since it offered me a lot of new energy and new goals for my - new life - without Jack.

                           *       *       *

          A year later I was landing in the LOD - Tel Aviv's - Israel huge airport. My heart was beating like crazy. I didn't know for sure if Tina and her family got my last message. However - as I was getting off the EL-Al plane (the Israeli's airline's flight was super) - I immediately noticed a black Mercedes with Tina's family parked close to the plane - as if I was a celebrity afforded a special treatment. Tina and her Israeli sons - looked like movie stars. I was happy to finally visit Israel after our father's visits animated his life when he visited from the United States quite a  few years before that moment.  At that time - I was happily married to Jack and Israel was "on the back burner" of my life's priority.

          However - after Jack and I divorced - Israel became a driving force in my life - especially - after Tina's visit a year before. Her energy - during that visit - motivated me to get a decent job as a sales rep for a big cookie company in Chicago. I found the job easy since I didn't have to worry anymore about the production problems and the workers not showing up for their shifts.

          "Welcome to Israel," - said Tina's older son as he hugged me. He was an enormously handsome Israeli - as was her younger son - all of them smiling at me. Tina looked like a happy queen - matriarch - tall, elegant and loved by her family.

                                

                          *       *      *

            During that first memorable week in Israel - they were driving me around through all the beautiful, "touristy" places in Haifa but during the second week - Tina went back to work since she loved her job - a part-time one as a publicity officer for the impressive port of Haifa. I went exploring my "new" city by myself during the mornings but in the evenings - she and I went visiting her grown sons and their families. The time went fast - then at the end of two weeks I was ready to go back to the U.S. to my job and my life in the United States. I was ready to go back even though I liked Tina's extended family - still - all of them -  especially the grandchildren and her daughters-in-law - started to get on my nerves a bit.  I was happy to go back to my job and my people in the U.S. at that time but Israel project remained in my heart and spirit - for good.

                                              

                          *         *         * 

            After I came back to the U.S. following that important and defining trip to Israel - the time started to go fast for me. I was not exactly sure how and in what way I will connect with Israel again but I always knew that it will happen. Right after that trip - however - my important Israeli projects - got put onto the back "burner" of my immediate goals. 

               I worked for quite a few years in Chicago which I loved. Tina visited me a few times - she also liked Chicago - at that time. I know that I was lucky to work a decent job there for quite a few years - until things changed drastically in Chicago as it became overrun with various foreigners and locals which have no job skills or prospects. The Chicago Democrats (most of them living in opulent, fenced in dwellings) - need them - so those transients will vote for them - frequently illegally - enabling the Dem's power to be consolidated in that manner while the once beautiful - Chicago - deteriorates as a result of the U.S Democratic politics. The new Democrats circa 2020 who got infiltrated by some Radical Socialists/Marxists/New Democrats - will be outvoted for a long time - as they always are - in the coming, important 2020 presidential, congressional and state - U.S elections.

            I was happy to get the hell out of Chicago in 2017. I moved back to Pittsburgh's Squirrel Hill where my older brother Max has always lived in hilly, smaller than Chicago and less corrupt - Pittsburgh. I rented a big unit in his - three unit - rental mansion located in a desirable, "she-she-poo-poo" part of Pittsburgh. Squirrel Hill - has always been a charming section of Pittsburgh - since it resembles the nicest European cities.

           "Come sign the lease so we'll be all set," my older brother Max always loved the honest rental income coming from his mini-mansion which he maintained - decently - so he worked as much as he liked after he retired.

           "How is all the Pennsylvania paperwork coming?" 

           "It's coming along - I will let you know as it moves ahead", I answered as I signed the yearly lease to rent a nice unit in his mini mansion. I was - finally - thank God and my efforts - able to afford a nice apartment in his small castle - after I "paid my dues" by renting some small and crummy units from him in the past. Max - subsequently - stopped renting out his lousy and small places so he could use them for storage. 

           After I moved into a spacious, prize apartment in Max's mini mansion - I had no intentions to share with Max too many things that were not his business. I always loved him but I know his shortcomings - thus I don't tell him things that don't concern him. When he was younger - he was extremely mercurial - he blew off his steam - too frequently and often without any special reason. As he got older - however - he mellowed quite a bit - two divorced wives and many ruined friendships - later - that is - he started to learn. Still - his old nature - keeps - seeping through - at times. That's why I like to keep my distance a bit. Nevertheless - he has tons of good qualities which I appreciate as I get older. Still - it's best to keep my distance and it's not hard since my unit in his rental mini castle - is a spacious one in the back of the dwelling so sometimes I don't see him for days - if there is no reason to "get together"; I'm sure that he gets it; so he calls me on the phone if there is some business to discuss.

                                    

                           *       *      *

          The spring of 2020 shut down our beautiful, hilly Squirrel Hill - Pittsburgh's - treasure - since the Covid-19 hysteria did more damage than the actual disease - as it usually happens. Thank God - in the beautiful fall of 2020 - things started getting back to normal.

           "Your new friend comes every week to help you with the leaves," I addressed Max casually as we sat on Max's spacey front porch by his big front unit of his rental mini castle. It was a nice fall evening. I didn't have anything special to say since I wanted to stay out of his personal business as much as humanly possible. His two daughters would be "apoplectic" - especially the younger one - if they knew that somebody could threaten their inheritance in any manner. 

           After solving some "favorite sibling" problems - Max and I learned how to do business together - in terms of him staying out of my way - not "invading" my prime rental unit which I rent from him - however - we - mainly me - arrived at the "neutral" territory - which is his big front porch that he loves in the evenings. I can always see him sitting there from my first floor window - as he sits there in the privacy of his nicely trimmed, hilly situated - covered privately by shrubs - big front porch - almost every night - so he could watch his neighborhood without being seen too much. He - usually - knows the moves of his neighbors without getting too close to any of them. They learned how to respect him - though. 

         If I want to chat - I come out to talk with him briefly but I don't do it each time he sits on the porch which is almost every night - I do come out onto Max's big front porch (our neutral territory) - whenever I want to say something re: our business dealings - since I know that it's hard for him to behave for too long. While he enjoys watching various people going around "his" neighborhood - especially - the attractive women of which Pittsburgh's Squirrel Hill is full of - since it's a desirable area - still - Max always says that "his gun - keeps the neighbors - nice and at the safe distance".

         The whole summer of 2020 was full of phony "protests" of every kind known to mankind - as they pushed their various - "false narratives" according to Sara Huckabee Sanders's book - "Speaking for Myself" in which she exposes all the phony "false narratives" - all exaggerated by the Leftist Main Stream Media - wanting to stir up the chaos - which would work against Pres. Trump's agenda benefitting the American people. 

        Most of the owners of the stately mini-mansions in Squirrel Hill - are weary of the new Leftists/"protesters". Even though some of the Squirrel Hill home owners have the obligatory Leftists signs in their front yards - still many of the owners are weary of the new American Leftists - who are drooling over their phony Marxist dreams of quick "re-distributing" of the wealth in the U.S. 

        Right about the time when the U.S. Socialist Bernie Sanders appeared to be taking the lead in the presidential primaries 2020 - quite a few of those semi-destitute, poorly educated Leftists/Marxists - walked around the opulent, nicely decorated Squirrel Hill - for a short time - as they glanced around the elegantly designed mini-mansions - just like a puppy would stare into a butcher shop full of meat to which he knows - he is not entitled - but "what the hell - nothing ventured - nothing gained". Then the people inside the butcher shop shoo him away.

                                     

                          Chapter 91

         

         Pittsburgh's - trendy part - Squirrel Hill is a charming area with many tastefully designed mini mansions as well as nice looking condominium clusters. It also has quite a few apartment buildings - all of them classy looking and pricey. Its one of the most desirable places to live in Pittsburgh area. What I love most about Squirrel Hill is that with the proximity to most shops, restaurants and coffee shops - one can easily negotiate the area by walking - without using a car.

         I like to walk around during the mornings after the weekend's crowds leave the area. Some of the "visitors" (especially the remnants from the 2020 summer "Protesters") get on my nerves a lot since they know they don't belong here - but - sometimes - they behave in an idiotic manner as if they "own the place" - without earning their right to be here. They know that they can earn their way here - it's America - people have opportunity - but they want a "quick redistribution of wealth" - Socialist style which will happen only - in their dreams/nightmares;  it will never happen in the U.S. where most people hate Socialism - a little brother of Communism - a little "Chuckie" doll - monster.

         Last weekend I noticed several Biden 2020 volunteers knocking on the doors - mostly those lacking Biden's signs in front of the cleanly trimmed bushes of the tastefully decorated mini-castles. By the way - for this area - full of rich, phony, "limousine liberals" - supposedly - "owned" by the Biden's 2020 campaign - the signs for him are "puny" in numbers while Trump's - American flags - are flying bravely in front of, many, many mini-mansions.  

                                          

                                    *      *      *

          

         I have always loved the fall seasons - it seems like every fall is glorious in a different way. October always goes too fast for me - even though the month of  November is also beautiful - with the Thanksgiving and the last leaves of the season - swirling in the air.  Every Thanksgiving is different but I have always liked it a lot. 

       Last year a small group of us - semi-casual - friends - rented some old musicals which we watch frequently - like every year - as we talk about some fun stuff - while we sip a bit of red wine. We will - probably -  do the same thing this year. Fall is fun every year - now-a-days - but the recent fall seasons are a lot different than the ones celebrated with Jack and our Chicago friends while we operated our deli/bakery. 

      One of my most favorite Thanksgiving holidays during those days - was a memorable one during which my ex-husband Jack and I got "avalanched" - piled under - by tons of orders for pumpkin pies while we owned a lovely, stylish deli/bakery in Chicago's - top rated area - full of "cool", young professionals.  Since we ground our flour and treated it like a perishable food which was kept in a fridge no longer than a week - all our products had a unique, golden glow which made them stand out - at least three heads above those of our top notch - competitors at that time. 

      It was hard to "crank out" consistently beautiful products and stay on top of everything else in life. Our  marriage relationship started to "buckle under pressure" since Jack and I couldn't work smoothly together like other couples. Things happen for many reasons which happen at the wrong time when the marriage - breaks. Thank God I came out of that experience - a better person. It happens to a lot of couples. 

                            *      *      *

         I love my life now in 2020 as I live in a pretty, hilly Pittsburgh's - Squirrel Hill in a mini-mansion's apartment which I rent from my brother Max. My life now is full of different goals and dreams than I had when my ex-husband and I were a team and love for him was a main driving force of my life. That "fizzled out" like love can do - since love changes, shifts and goes away - sometimes - only to come back - in a different form. Now - I have different loves and dreams.

        Instead of worrying that my "princess" like lifestyle will go away - I focus on my goals every day; they change - but they are always - positive - as much as possible - even if during some short moments - there is a time to cry. During this memorable fall of 2020 - I am currently - all consumed in re-electing the current administration since the challengers - Biden/Harris team - are Radical/Leftists/New Democrats - threatening the Constitutional Republic of the U.S.

        Since Pittsburgh's - Squirrel Hill - is widely "infested" with rich, phony "limousine liberals" ready to vote for Biden/Harris - I have my work cut out for me and the numerous people like me - here - in Squirrel Hill - who don't want Biden/Harris team to start converting the U.S. into some kind of Socialist behemoth on the like of China - but more sinister since the U.S. is more efficient.

        Most of the time - I am having fun while I do my work. Sometimes smart people say - "I work alone - I don't need any partners". The way I look at it - there are times when it's more effective way - bringing more results - to work in a group and in general - people need to connect positively with some other humans. Loneliness breeds all sorts of human suffering - but one doesn't have to be alone if they don't choose it - in a lot of cases. Of course - it's hard to reach out to other people - it's risky in many ways.

       I saw this middle aged guy today - he appeared physically healthy - but when I looked into his eyes - briefly - I saw this vacant stare of the spirit dulled severely - either by excessive drug use or abuse of alcohol; at that moment - I saw in his eyes - lack of desire to pursue life. He made me sad for a while but then I got busy with my daily projects of "driving the local Socialists - batty".

        My brother Max who lived under Socialism in Eastern Europe - always says that if those idealistic, naïve Americans lived under Socialism for a while - they would be quickly "cured" from wanting it in the U.S. In the meantime - I like to count Biden signs in front of people's good looking, mansion like houses in my home turf - Squirrel Hill - when I take my daily, morning walks. I noticed - lately - that several Biden's signs have disappeared from some yards. No doubt Biden's latest scandal involving Biden and his son Hunter - taking huge sums from China and Ukraine - just got "refreshed" in people's minds - following the recent discovering Hunter's laptop full of incriminating photos and emails. It's "God's finger" tipping the scale for Trump.

       During the last, important presidential debate - the last one before the elections 2020 - Biden looked like a shriveled up old fart while Pres. Trump appeared - fat, strong, tanned and "quick on his feet" all throughout the session - while Biden got visibly - weakened mentally - towards the end of the ninety minutes long - debate. That's when all the righteous prayers for Trump - sent some angels. Biden made a statement about wanting to "get the fossil fuels - phased out" which would deprive millions of Americans their livelihoods. President Trump - then - immediately - "jumped on it".

        A radio personality with a huge following/listeners to his daily radio talk show - Dennis Prager - who was one of the commentators of the aforementioned presidential debate - called the ex-vice President Biden - "a crook" - for the first time. Biden's son's Hunter's - abandoned laptop "came up to the surface" very recently - with its thousands of incriminating emails that "drip" to the surface - right before the presidential elections 2020 - the way truth always comes out - even though the biased for the Biden's Socialists - American Main Stream Media - actively tries to "cover up" for Biden. 

       They had a profile of Kamala Harris on the CBN TV station the other day - Biden's choice for his vice-president - maybe a week ago and they related her long time affair with a married ex-mayor of San Francisco, a powerful politician - Willie Brown; then CBN quoted her as saying that Willie Brown became "an albatross around her neck" - before she dumpted him when she didn't need him anymore - after he enabled her California political career following her becoming - a full fledged Leftist/Socialist - who calls herself - Democrat.

                                  *       *      *

         A few years ago when I still lived in Chicago area - my ex-Chicago friend and confidante - Milochka (Millie) whom I have known since our high school days in Eastern Europe - gave me a framed photo of a pretty brunette who had angel's wings attached to her shoulders. I hung that frame above my bed in my bedroom and looked at her beautiful face every night before I went to bed. At first - I was not paying attention to that fact - however - as several weeks went by - I noticed something positive and somewhat - mysterious about it so I was telling  Milochka about it - as we had our weekly breakfast at our favorite beautiful coffee shop - "Casual Corner" - located in no less magnificent - park like - mall - Old Orchard located in Skokie (a northern suburb of Chicago). The mall was decorated for the coming winter holidays and it looked glorious - as every year.

        "You know that angel photo you gave me a few weeks ago? I hung it above my bed and things are happening which are good but hard to explain. I got the promotion at my job for which I waited and other stuff which is happening now - as if that angel - is speeding it up,"

        "You believe in those things?", Millie (Milochka) was quickly putting away her big cheese and green peppers - omelet - while I was eating my poached eggs which I put on my toast. The coffee was always freshly brewed and located close to our favorite table which was away from the main dining room which was already nicely decorated for the coming Christmas holidays which I always liked - especially the coming soon - New Year's Eve. 

         "I like your earrings," she commented on my large, gold earrings shaped like triangles. I wanted to say something nice to Milochka about her appearance but it was hard for me to lie. She just gained back ten pounds which she previously lost.

         Each time after I talked to Milochka about my problems - the most bothersome ones - paled and solved themselves. At that time of our lives - she was - way ahead of me in many ways. Mainly - she had a good job which she liked; it was a bright spot of her life since raising her two daughters as a single mom was hard for her even if her mother helped her a lot. 

        That year - I tried to introduce her to some guys so she could date a bit - but she was not too interested in dating or getting married again until her daughters were grown and gone since her second husband - molested her younger daughter. Several years went by fast - Milochka/Millie - and I were close friends even if I confided in her a lot more than she trusted me - as it later turned out. At the end of the third year which I call "Millie's years" - her younger daughter got married quickly very young and almost immediately after the wedding - had a cute baby boy which I loved to hold. Those were good years - even though - better things came later. During my "Milochka's" - lean years I was happy to hang on to my job so I could pay the bills until things got much better for me.    

                                 

                          *       *      *

       After I decided to leave Chicago - to move back to hilly and picturesque - Pittsburgh where I rented a spacious apartment from my older brother Max who owns a clean, well upkept rental mini-mansion in the choice rental area - Squirrel Hill (charming part). Before I left Chicago - that final time - thank God - I worked a good job with good benefits so - now - I can live much better in Pittsburgh due to the lower cost of living and better logistics as far as quickly getting around is concerned. 

      Millie and I lost contact with each other and I miss her sometimes - but in the spring - I will visit my favorite place - a gorgeous Old Orchard Mall - close to Chicago which I will avoid -on my way to visiting another close friend - Lizotchka with whom I am in frequent contact. Both of us look forward towards the spring 2021 when the world will be a lot more "normal" since the Covid-19 - vaccine is almost ready to distribute but for now - my favorite holiday - Thanksgiving 2020 is coming up very soon.

                           *      *      *   

       When we were little - Lizotchka was always the prettiest one - out of the three of us. Milochka had good grades to boast about even though her looks were average - thus our parents' friends usually said many times - sometimes too many times - ad nauseum - that "Lizotchka looks just like Shirley Temple". While they commented that Milochka "is extremely smart - her grades are super" - they usually had to stop to think what to say about me since - I admit that I could be rebellious and unruly - at times. Then they would said something generic which meant nothing - the way politicians speak. They would say something like "Maratchka's hair is thick and shiny". A lot of times - I would think to myself - "Thanks for nothing - you old bag/fart" - and at times I would say so out loud - not adding the "old fart/bag" - part - though. When I look back at those days through the prism of many years of life passed since then - after crossing many passages and after opening and closing many different doors - I like to think of those early years - as terrific - for the most part.

                          Chapter 92

     

        I vividly remember one beautiful summer when the three of us were spending a whole summer - two lovely summer months - at the mountain summer resort nestled in the magnificent mountains - punctuated by lush woods and meadows. 

        The weather was nice during that memorable July morning - it wasn't hot since our rental villa was close to the woods with the meadow near by - however - the slight summer wind felt good. The Polish people who owned that rental - moved out for the summer into a crowded quarters of their relatives - who also came around with fresh butter and other dairy stuff - every other morning; they also checked on "things in general".

        I just finished eating my breakfast consisting of wild strawberries covered with a thick layer of sour cream accompanied with a slice of country bread spread thickly with yellow butter.

        "You're braiding my hair too tight," I said to my mother.

        "I told you before - I don't like that tone of voice,"

        "Max talks to you like that,

        "Max never uses that tone of voice,

        "He is so perfect - never does anything wrong", 

        Max couldn't hear us since he was noisily washing his face in the bathroom.

        Then Lizotchka entered the kitchen of our rental. She wore a frilly summer dress of pink color. Her hair was braided into two braids with the two bows ending them - of the same color as her dress.

        "You - guys - be careful at the woods. Don't stay too long and don't eat most of the blueberries and raspberries you will gather for breakfast."

        "Okay - Mrs. Diamond", Lizotchka smiled her "trademark" - dimply grin with her big brown eyes - playing a big part in it. 

         Mother started to fix dinner while Lizotchka and I went to pick up Milochka whose rental was a few blocks away. During our walk to Milochka's rental villa - Lizotchka and I complained about our brothers. While her younger brother - fat "tattle-tale", nosy little guy was always on her way - mine - much older brother who was a recent college graduate - doing his post-graduate work - frequently bossed me around since he was impressed with himself for no special reason other than our mother telling him every day that he was cool and special.

        The morning was sunny and lovely. The birds sang their summer song as we approached Milochka's rental which looked a lot like mine and Lizotchka's - it was a gray stucco, two floor cottage with a small front porch and white rose bushes in front of it. When we approached Milochka's front porch we could smell the fried eggs while the radio played a newly resurrected tango hit "Jealousy" in a new instrumental arrangement.

        "You didn't tell mother that you are leaving!" Her older brother's voice sounded angry after her as she appeared in the front doors. He was only a year older than her but - evidently - was taking lessons on how to be a jerk from older brothers like mine.

        "Shut up! Mother knows!" Milochka yelled back in his direction inside the rental villa as she shut the front doors and joined us. She was an average looking teenager with medium length, dark colored braids - "pigtails" - behind her.

        We walked happily towards our favorite meadow surrounded by thick woods on the edges of which - many bushes with raspberries, blackberries and blueberries - allowed us to pick the sweet fruits. Below those there were still lots of low wild strawberries plants - coming ripe even though we picked them during the first week of July. The smell of pine needles and pine cones warmed by the sun always reminds me of that summer - magical and fun.

        "When we get to the park this evening - Maratchka will go first to look for some 'newcomers' to see if any interesting ones arrived," Lizotchka always made me a main "delegate" and "negotiator". We were teenagers who thought that we knew all about how the "adults' world" works.

        "You mean - you can't be doing that?" I was glad I had an edge over her good looks. At that time - Milochka - who was not yet outstanding in any manner - that is - the adults have not yet informed her about it; she was happy to hang out with the two of us even though the adults in her life - have not "typed cast" her yet into any typical mold - either pretty like Lizotchka or outstanding organizer - like me.

         Saturday nights at the park full of colorful flower beds nicely arranged - were - usually - the most fun nights of the week for several reasons. Our fathers came up to spend a weekend plus the new "arrivals" appeared for the first time - to be looking  us over - since we were the first comers to our mountain resort. We all dressed up in fancy clothes for the park - the orchestra played the hits of the day and some classics. The adults danced on the wooden dance platform in front of the orchestra. The long summer nights Saturdays continued from early evening till late at night.

        After I got back to our rental that afternoon - the baked chicken mother prepared for dinner/lunch smelled great. She fixed the tossed salad made of tomatoes, cucumbers and green onions - dressed with some oil. The thick slices of country bread spread thickly with yellow country butter were sitting in the middle of the kitchen table. We talked about the coming up long evening and night at the park as we ate our early dinner. 

      My older brother Max stuffed his face more than usually. He just came to join mother and me - from his college summer camp which was called off after only a couple of weeks due to some mismanagement of some sort which happened frequently at that time in - then - Socialist Poland.

       "Are there any pretty girls my age showing up in the park on Saturdays?" he asked me while he looked at me as if I was air. I was glad that he wasn't putting his "three cent's worth" opinion when I told to nobody in particular that I am going over to Lizotchka's for a few hours.

        "Don't forget to come back - no later than five so we can have a snack and get ready to go to the park,"

        "Okay - mom," I answered then I turned to Max and informed him that all the cutest college girls like to circulate around the drinking fountain in the middle of the park at different times so he needs to be checking there - then I thought to myself that Max will be out of our hair - at least - during this long, and fun Saturday evening coming up which always stretched into a late at night. 

         Lizotchka and I had fun all afternoon that Saturday - speculating on what kind of newcomers our age will arrive at the park that evening. Normally - she would go first to check - then I would proceed to make friends with that cluster of teenagers.

                           *       *      *

         Later that evening - Lizotchka and I wore our fancy summer clothes. Both of us sported sandals made of brown and beige leather - in vogue for the teenagers - that summer. Our hair - braided neatly into two braids - had colorful bows pleated into our hair at the end of the braids - the color of which matched the hues of our summer dresses.

         My older brother Max didn't dress up too much - he just put on a fresh cotton summer shirt of blue color which looked good on his medium size, muscular frame; the summer shirt pleasantly contrasted with his dark eyes and black hair. His summer tan made him look glowing. He always wanted to be taller that his medium height, so he tilted his head upwards.  A group of us tried to avoid him as much as humanly possible during that magical Saturday night in the park smelling sweet of honeysuckle - since he said that he will insist that we drink the full glass of the spring water which came in a stream out of the ground in this mountain resort. It tasted nasty with a strong smell of Sulphur.

        The resort village designed a large, enclosed gazebo around the spraying the "magic" water - spring, so people drank the miraculous spring water in the evenings out of the fancy glass containers which they stored on the shelves of the enclosed gazebo. That - allegedly - miraculous spring water - smelled of Sulphur - we hated it and discreetly dumped it onto the flower beds.

        During that memorable Saturday night smelling of honey suckle plants - the scent which mingled with the ladies' perfumes - the group of us - wanted for that night to never end. The orchestra was already plying dance numbers. We knew that the adults will be dancing on the wooden platform soon and it will go for several hours.

       Lizotchka and I made friends with a group of sharply dressed teenage guys from Warsaw who loudly talked to us - trying to impress us with their - purported - important family's connections. Suddenly Max appeared as if from the thin air and started to question me and my girlfriends whether we drank the full glass of the spring water reeking of Sulphur. He ignored our new friends.

       "We already did that. Mother said that half a glass is enough," I was mad at Max and wanted him to get out of our way.

       "Hey - Max - I just saw a couple of cute college girls by the main fountain. They said that they were looking for college guys," said Lizotchka's six-year-old, fat little brother - Cyril.

       "Thanks for telling me that," Max was off to look for the college coeds. That night Cyril was treated like a guy our age - all evening - for his clever idea. Nobody pushed him around or told him to get out of the way or anything like that during that whole, long, fantastic summer night which continued. 

       The orchestra played beautiful tunes - our young looking - early middle-aged parents danced on a wooden platform. Max entertained two good looking college coeds - while we - the teenagers - had fun with our group of friends. I wanted that evening and that summer to last forever but it ended - too soon.

      After that summer - the next time I saw Cyril - he was a gorgeous looking young doctor who just graduated from the prestigious U.S. medical school - fifteen years after that super summer.

                                 Chapter 93

                

        Lizotchka and her family left for the U.S. at the very beginning of fall following that beautiful summer. I missed her like crazy, but we lost contact for fifteen years. After I and my family arrived in Columbus, Ohio - the U.S.'s - middle sized city several years following Lizotchka's departure - I started as a freshman at the huge Ohio State University - the pride of Columbus, Ohio.

        At times when I passed some cute coeds walking through the gigantic Ohio State campus - I thought that some of them looked like Lizotchka. I made new American friends after my first, difficult quarter at the university - but after that - things got a lot better - still - I had to keep learning my way around - rapidly to keep up with the college's academical requirements.

       The late spring following my first year at Ohio State promised - to be challenging - since the cluster of my steady Ohio State University friends left for the summer until the fall. I needed to find me a roommate for the coming summer quarter since that would shorten my time at the University enabling me to graduate sooner. 

      The call from Lizotchka came unexpectedly - it turned out that she was also studying at the huge Ohio State University - a year ahead of me and was almost ready to graduate - that summer would be her last quarter at Ohio State. We decided to sign a short term, summer lease to rent a charming, small apartment close to the campus. We would be together for the summer after fifteen years passed from that memorable summer in Polish resort. Both of us crossed many important thresholds and underwent big changes.

                              *     *     *

       At the very beginning of that other important summer with Lizotchka - fifteen years after the first one - in the beautiful Polish resort in the mountains - she I met again - almost by accident - in the U.S. where both of us studied at the huge and famous Ohio State University. We rented a small but charming apartment close to the university for our last summer quarter there - so we could graduate sooner.

        I and Lizotchka went to spend a long Fourth of July weekend at her parents' house in Dayton, Ohio where her family settled after they came from Poland. Their distant cousins lived there for a long time - then - they - subsequently - moved out of town. Since Dayton was only two hours' drive away from Columbus's - Ohio State University - Lizotchka enrolled in that famous college - thus we met again - almost by accident. 

        Her parents' house was a big, new looking, ranch style, single family dwelling with a big yard and big garage - located outside of Dayton. Inside - the house smelled of cleanliness and luxury.

        "You have a beautiful home, Mrs. Levinsky," I addressed her mother - who still looked good after me not seeing her for fifteen years. It was an early morning - I came into the large, bright kitchen where she was fixing a breakfast for us; I set at the big table - while I adjusted my pajamas since it was an early, beautiful summer morning. The big windows with the screens - let the fresh air in.

        "We had good lives in Poland - as well," she said as she handed me a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice which smelled heavenly and tasted heavenly - just like Greek Gods' - nectar. Everybody was still asleep. The record player played softly from the living room - covered with lush, soft white carpet. The big hit of that summer was a Broadway tune - "Sunrise - Sunset".

         "Your parents have a nice home - too," she said and added, "it was hard for all of us - at the beginning. Sasha had to do quite a few lousy jobs before he finally started to get some solid offers - according to his skills."

          "My parents went through the same rough treatments at the very start before they got their decent jobs for the university library. Some people who were born in the U.S. - have attitudes - as if 'they grabbed God Almighty by the balls' - especially some American Jews".

          Lizotchka entered the kitchen in her coral-colored pajamas. She always looked like a glamorous movie star ever since she was little. When I told her that during our first meeting in the U.S. after not seeing each other close to fifteen years - she assured me that I - on the other hand - always walk around "like the Earth was mine for asking". I wished that I could feel that way more often.

        She flashed her big diamond engagement ring as she sipped her freshly brewed coffee. Her wedding to a handsome, young American Jew - Artie Trotman (a big step up for the newcomer) - was scheduled for that fall.

        "You will get a ring like that too - Maratchka. You will see - it will happen soon," her mother was sincere and not just trying to make me feel better.

       

      For the next segment of this exciting story - click here every Monday - Wednesday and Friday - of each week!